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I am not into purple puddles. But FlyLady helped me figure out routines. I applied them more vigorously to the meal and laundry issues of the family. But the idea is sound.
Ok, so "pick up the slack" was poor word usage, mea culpa. What I should have said was that I have a husband who is a good sport about stepping up, he always has been. He's willing to drive our 14 year-old to weight lifting practice at 6:30 a.m., turn around and take the 12 year-old to school at 7:30, pick them up, grill dinner, run errands--that sort of thing. As long as he doesn't get interrupted during business hours, he's totally cool. I have a mother who can tend to any mid-day emergencies, and an uncle and step-dad who can help out in a pinch.
I have to admit though, I'm a little reluctant to divide the household chores by 50/50. DH makes 6x what I'll be earning, and he hates housework. If I ask him to do any housework, he'll insist that I hire a housekeeper. He's been wanting to hire a housekeeper for years, but I'm too cheap to pay for one. That's probably where the kids come into play. What type of household chores do you have your kids do?
As far as dinner goes, do any of you prep in the morning, do you grocery shop at lunch, have any websites you like for quick and easy meals? Thank you for the suggestions. Keep 'em coming.
I have to admit though, I'm a little reluctant to divide the household chores by 50/50. DH makes 6x what I'll be earning, and he hates housework. If I ask him to do any housework, he'll insist that I hire a housekeeper. He's been wanting to hire a housekeeper for years, but I'm too cheap to pay for one. That's probably where the kids come into play. What type of household chores do you have your kids do?
How much you each earn shouldn't influence the partnership. You're either equals or your not. Why should you do more work simply because he earns more money? You both will be spending the same amount of time away from the house per day. If you and your husband are viewing your job as a hobby or vanity career, let him hire a housekeeper and have the children do chores in between.
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Originally Posted by Voyageuse
As far as dinner goes, do any of you prep in the morning, do you grocery shop at lunch, have any websites you like for quick and easy meals? Thank you for the suggestions. Keep 'em coming.
I had very little time in the morning to prep dinner.
You can't grocery shop at lunch because the food will spoil by the time you get home.
Ok, so "pick up the slack" was poor word usage, mea culpa. What I should have said was that I have a husband who is a good sport about stepping up, he always has been. He's willing to drive our 14 year-old to weight lifting practice at 6:30 a.m., turn around and take the 12 year-old to school at 7:30, pick them up, grill dinner, run errands--that sort of thing. As long as he doesn't get interrupted during business hours, he's totally cool. I have a mother who can tend to any mid-day emergencies, and an uncle and step-dad who can help out in a pinch.
I have to admit though, I'm a little reluctant to divide the household chores by 50/50. DH makes 6x what I'll be earning, and he hates housework. If I ask him to do any housework, he'll insist that I hire a housekeeper. He's been wanting to hire a housekeeper for years, but I'm too cheap to pay for one. That's probably where the kids come into play. What type of household chores do you have your kids do?
As far as dinner goes, do any of you prep in the morning, do you grocery shop at lunch, have any websites you like for quick and easy meals? Thank you for the suggestions. Keep 'em coming.
Division of housework should have zero to do with how much each person makes! It could depend on how many hours you each work, but not on money!
Get a house cleaner. If you've gone all this time without an income, and you'll have one now, spend some on a house cleaner. It is worth it. Your time at home is about to become very precious. you won't want to spend it cleaning.
My kids take out recycling, fold their laundry, put it away, and feed the cat. If we have to clean between house cleaner visits, they will help dust and vacuum, and use clorox wipes on the bathroom surfaces. None of us have the time to clean the house top to bottom every week.
After being a SAHM for 14 years, I just received a job offer. I'm thrilled, but a little nervous about keeping up with my household chores.
I have a really supportive husband who will pick up the slack (i.e: running to Trader Joe's, picking up our kid from football practice...), and two sons (12 and 14) who will do just about anything for a little cash (i.e: laundry, walk the dog...), but does anyone have any practical tips to share with me, such as: when/how you grocery shop, when to get dinner started (i.e: doing prep. in the morning), how you squeeze in a work out? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!
My kids and I spent one hour on the weekends "cleaning" the house. And I spent 15 mins a night doing things along the flylady plan. The kids have been doing their own laundry since they were about 12. I do one load of laundry an evening for myself, SO and house stuff.
Ok, so "pick up the slack" was poor word usage, mea culpa. What I should have said was that I have a husband who is a good sport about stepping up, he always has been. He's willing to drive our 14 year-old to weight lifting practice at 6:30 a.m., turn around and take the 12 year-old to school at 7:30, pick them up, grill dinner, run errands--that sort of thing. As long as he doesn't get interrupted during business hours, he's totally cool. I have a mother who can tend to any mid-day emergencies, and an uncle and step-dad who can help out in a pinch.
I have to admit though, I'm a little reluctant to divide the household chores by 50/50. DH makes 6x what I'll be earning, and he hates housework. If I ask him to do any housework, he'll insist that I hire a housekeeper. He's been wanting to hire a housekeeper for years, but I'm too cheap to pay for one. That's probably where the kids come into play. What type of household chores do you have your kids do?
- Garbage and recycle down to the barrels in garage as needed.
- Barrels to the curb weekly.
- Dishwasher unload and load as needed.
- Empty garbage cans around the house.
- Keep their rooms clean.
- Tidy the living room.
- Stack wood.
- Lug wood into house from the stack.
We DO have a housekeeper. If you can afford it, you might want to reconsider. Obviously your call!
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As far as dinner goes, do any of you prep in the morning, do you grocery shop at lunch, have any websites you like for quick and easy meals? Thank you for the suggestions. Keep 'em coming.
I make a plan weekly. I shop one evening per week. I do a combination of make ahead and freeze, easy weeknight meals, Sunday start up meals and all day crock pot. So a week is going to look like.
Sunday: Roast chicken and mashed potatoes. I roast 2 chickens when we only really eat about one. When cleaning up the evening meal, I will strip the chicken meat, chop and freeze for casserole. I throw the carcass into the crock pot over night with some onion or whatever for stock. While in the kitchen, I will throw a triple batch of rice on. One batch for Monday chicken fried rice, one for freezer one for soup. Tuesday chicken soup with a bread in the bread machine.
I have 2 Cooking Light weeknight cookbooks that I love. But all their recipes are available on the web. Wednesday might be something from there. Then beef stew in the crock for Thurs.
I like BigOven.com for planning. But I don't have the patience to enter my recipes. So I do it mostly on paper.
The term is usually used as vanity business for wealthy wives who open businesses to entertain themselves as a hobby. The businesses often have little worth unless it can be a tax write off but that only lasts for a few years so it's really a hobby. Your post reminded me of vanity businesses. That's why I said vanity career---a hobby. Because that's how you're devaluing yourself in the relationship by putting value on your worth at home based on income earned. It should be based on time spent away from the house. If you both are working full time, you both have equal value for the housework.
He wants to hire someone. You'll only cause yourself misery if you try to do it all on your own. Let your job be a fulfilling next step in your life, not something that causes you to be stressed out when you're home. You place value in yourself by hiring the housekeeper instead of resisting and doing it all yourself. If you don't, you're creating a situation where you will be over burdened and possibly resentful of your husband for not helping with the housework when he's willing to pay for help.
Don't put unnecessary stress on yourself, the marriage, and/or family by being stubborn when your husband can obviously afford a housekeeper since he earns 6x more than you and has always wanted to hire one, especially considering you will be bringing in additional income. I wouldn't even pay for it out of your own earnings if you plan to have separate accounts because he's wanting to hire a housekeeper to make it easier on himself. He says he'll pay for it, let him because you'll still be doing housework even with a housekeeper.
Kids do their own laundry, clean their own rooms. I told them, each one had a day, I helped them, but it was expected to be done by Friday night. If it was not, they had to do it Friday.
Lighten up on your self and your expectations of what you can do... And stop babying the kids... It won't kill them to have more responsibility at home. SAHM tend to do a lot for kids... And kids have a hard time adjusting when Mom's go back to work. They are used to calling when they have a tummy ache at school, having help with school projects, at the drop of a hat.
That has been my experience, husband adjusts fine... Kids, not so much.
The term is usually used as vanity business for wealthy wives who open businesses to entertain themselves as a hobby. The businesses often have little worth unless it can be a tax write off but that only lasts for a few years so it's really a hobby. Your post reminded me of vanity businesses. That's why I said vanity career---a hobby. Because that's how you're devaluing yourself in the relationship by putting value on your worth at home based on income earned. It should be based on time spent away from the house. If you both are working full time, you both have equal value for the housework.
If he wants to hire someone, let him. You'll only cause yourself misery if you try to do it all on your own. Let your job be a fulfilling next step in your life, not something that causes you to be stressed out when you're home. You place value in yourself by hiring the housekeeper instead of resisting and doing it all yourself. If you don't, you're creating a situation where you will be over burdened and possibly resentful of your husband for not helping with the housework when he's willing to pay for help. Don't put unnecessary stress on yourself and/or the relationship.
Girlfriend, you just said it all! Big points! OP, I'm excited for you in this next step! It's a big one and it's so easy to overthink it, but resist! Thing's will fall into place and all will work out!! Congrats on the new job and enjoy!!!
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What I should have said was that I have a husband who is a good sport about stepping up, he always has been. He's willing to drive our 14 year-old to weight lifting practice at 6:30 a.m., turn around and take the 12 year-old to school at 7:30, pick them up, grill dinner, run errands--that sort of thing. As long as he doesn't get interrupted during business hours, he's totally cool. I have a mother who can tend to any mid-day emergencies, and an uncle and step-dad who can help out in a pinch.
