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Funny how being concerned with where your kids are turns into them being chattels and slaves and being threatened to live in the street. And how dare we try to have rules and instill our values in our kids. I mean the nerve of that! lol
Where the heck did that come from? Where are we enslaving our kids by being concerned where they are going and who they are hanging out with. And are we supposed to turn a blind eye to the kids comings and goings and just hope they get lucky? The best of parents can have the best values and think they are close to their kids and the kids will still get into something that might be over their head. Some kids luckily survive as mentioned in this thread and how many do we know that don't? They are on the news, or part of a memorial at school etc.
And no not all kids need monitoring but some do. And you monitor as best as you can. If it means using the gps locator to check up on your kids' wherabouts, then so be it. Oh and by the way, it isn't a end all be all solution. It's part of a tools set in monitoring your children. If it gives me the illusion of enslaving my kids and turning them into mere chattels or a raving dictator with rules, that's fine. At least I know where my kids are.
I have not really weighed in except insofar as to think that paying for a "privilege" that is actually a requirement and then coping attitude was a bit off. My biggest concern with monitoring at this age is the risk of the crutch of expectation that Mom is going to rescue you. I am not saying this very well.
When I know that *I* am responsible for my choices, I make good choices. When there is a safety net, I use it!
I have not really weighed in except insofar as to think that paying for a "privilege" that is actually a requirement and then coping attitude was a bit off. My biggest concern with monitoring at this age is the risk of the crutch of expectation that Mom is going to rescue you. I am not saying this very well.
When I know that *I* am responsible for my choices, I make good choices. When there is a safety net, I use it!
Again I said not ALL kids needs to be monitored. (and using OTHER tools to ensure the kids are where they are supposed to be etc) And these are KIDS til they leave home.
But if you are a troubled child that makes rash or bad decisions no matter how well you are raised at home, then being monitored isn't all that terrible. And the monitoring is done quietly not with a huge announcement, "Okay child you are leaving and going to THIS person's house and you better be there as I am going to check online every minute and MAKE sure you are there and you better not leave etc."
And the child thinks, "Hmm since they are gonna monitor me, I am going to a bad part of town. If I get in trouble, no biggie since mom will see where I am and rescue me!" Yeah, that isn't going to happen.
Most realistic examples: Kid, "I am going spend the night at Bob's! Bye!" Parent goes online later in the evening and sees kid isn't at Bob's or calls Bob's and finds out from his parents that kid isn't there or drives by and sees kid's car/bike isn't there. Calls kid, "Hey where are you and why?" Especially if in an area they aren't supposed to. And orders them to come home, as since they lied and now they are grounded.
The kid then gets angry that they aren't trusted... Well that argument only happens AFTER they get caught doing something illicit. If they are where they are supposed to be and sends a quick text of where they are going etc, then the issue of monitoring never comes up.
Again I said not ALL kids needs to be monitored. (and using OTHER tools to ensure the kids are where they are supposed to be etc) And these are KIDS til they leave home.
I guess if a pre teen or teen NEEDS to be monitored, then they are not yet responsible enough to go out on their own until they demonstrate that they are capable of that.
I guess if a pre teen or teen NEEDS to be monitored, then they are not yet responsible enough to go out on their own until they demonstrate that they are capable of that.
If I pay the cellphone bills of my children or even my grandchildren (family plan), then yes, until you are 18, I will use the GPS in your phone to monitor where you go and when you go there.
You won't stop at 18 because you are a control freak. Just because you can spy doesn't mean you have the right to but I can see you are already packed and on board that culture.
A GPS tracker could also be placed in a Shoe, backpack, etc. . .where it may not be noticed by a "bad guy"
downside
- risk of having a child "taken" by someone other than your family .. is pretty low. Your child would be safer if you invested the money on a swimming class.
Last edited by Jaded; 11-23-2013 at 01:25 AM..
Reason: Removed deleted post
If I pay the cellphone bills of my children or even my grandchildren (family plan), then yes, until you are 18, I will use the GPS in your phone to monitor where you go and when you go there. I do not see where this is even in argument but in my family it has been. I feel that it is the right of a parent to monitor a kid's cellphone GPS and even his or her driving if it is your car or you paid for them a car. If mine are out after hours, I want to know why, where and what they are doing. If they tell me they are going somewhere, I want the ability to verify that is where indeed they are going. And BTW, if it makes them feel any better, they can monitor my phone GPS as well.
More parents should be like you.
Once they start paying their own bills, they can feel free to make their own mistakes. 'Til then, nope!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
Sounds like you can't trust your children to tell you the truth about where they are and where they are going.
Trust has nothing to do with it. Stop blaming the OP for being a parent. A GOOD parent. It's astonishing how many parents don't know the meaning of the word.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
Honesty about where you were and who you were with was (and still is) very important in our family. And it was a matter of courtesy to let everyone know where you were going. Having to track someone was never an issue in our family.
Of course it's important to let your kids know they have someone to answer to. But in our family, that was instilled from a young age. Along with a sense of responsibility and honesty within the family unit. (Think members of a team.) I think if that message gets through at a young age the need for tracking goes way down.
lol. Sure. That's what you think! I love how parents who don't want to bother being real parents feel so superior. They're the ones who always say, ".....but....but....he was such a good kid!"
When you care about each other, letting Mom and Dad know where you are and who you'll be with is part of the package. The kids know you worry..... they tell you where they'll be. Such an easy thing to do when families are close. The number of people who seem to not believe that happens IRL is a little surprising to me. I dunno, maybe they come from dysfunctional families and can't understand the families that have love, affection and respect at their core.
Last edited by Jaded; 11-23-2013 at 01:28 AM..
Reason: reply to a deleted post
Once they start paying their own bills, they can feel free to make their own mistakes. 'Til then, nope!
So ... you wait until they are 18 and out the door to begin to expect judgement, accountability, responsibility, compassion and empathy? That just strikes me as dumb.
When you care about each other, letting Mom and Dad know where you are and who you'll be with is part of the package. The kids know you worry..... they tell you where they'll be. Such an easy thing to do when families are close. The number of people who seem to not believe that happens IRL is a little surprising to me. I dunno, maybe they come from dysfunctional families and can't understand that many families have love, affection and respect at their core.
People get what they expect. People who expect their kids to be devious little jerk offs behave in ways to fulfill that prophesy. And then assume that it is, of course, because "all kids are different. Couldn't have been the parent!
Last edited by Jaded; 11-23-2013 at 01:29 AM..
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