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NO young guy in the 9th grade wants his mother shouting at him.
Most young guys dont get what they want. If kids dont want their parents yelling at them then they should do what theyre told and whats expected of them.
Kids dont give any credit to what their parents tell them. Why dont you find several young military men, from the service he is interested in, to talk to him about life and expectations.
I would do this with any career that my kids were interested in.
The study halls are for juniors and seniors. Freshmen and Sophmores have their classes scheduled for the whole day. The teachers will give as much help as the kids need ; that is definitely the case here. The teachers want their students to strive and do well.
Problem is my son who will not ask for help at all. Only if I find out that there is a test coming up and the teacher is giving extra help, will he go. Then he does very well. If it is up to him to study, he fails. He has seen the connection many times but just won't make the effort.
Of course now I am the worst mum in the world as he just has school and home.He has just the basics that we need to provide as I am so tired of this. He did go to parochial school for 7 years and he did a little better ; just a little but we just cannot afford to pay $10K a year per child anymore.
His brother who has the great GPA is younger by 17 months.We do not compare them to each other as we understand that each child is different. However, as parents we will not accept failing grades especially coming form a boy who wants his dreams to come true and can be so good in everything else.
Kids dont give any credit to what their parents tell them. Why dont you find several young military men, from the service he is interested in, to talk to him about life and expectations.
I would do this with any career that my kids were interested in.
He talks to the recruit people that come into the school. He is in the sea cadets and therefore speaks to other Navy people. He has done camps with coast guards.
Take away all electronics, social events, and extracurricular activities until his grades come up. That was the ONLY thing that worked for our teen. She didn't care about her grades until we MADE her care. She is a junior now and has a 3.5 GPA. You have to be consistent, and the cell phone should be the first thing to go.
Most young guys dont get what they want. If kids dont want their parents yelling at them then they should do what theyre told and whats expected of them.
Yelling at him won't accomplish anything. It'll only make things worse.
No amount of punishing, rewarding, cajoling, threatening, praising made any difference -- taking video games away and keeping the tv off made no difference.
This was me. I did absolutely terrible in high school. It got worse from year to year actually. And nothing my parents did worked. Nothing. I failed multiple classes, etc. I graduated on time (though I shouldn't have; I only did because a teacher bumped a grade up for me at the last minute).
Anyway, pretty much all the kids in my circle went straight from high school to four-year universities. I got to head to the local community college. I did much better, but still not as good as I could have. I was able to transfer to a decent state university and even get in a selective major there. I eventually got to where I was making the honors lists every semester, was getting specifically solicited to take honors classes, and graduated with a good degree.
In my case it took simply growing up and a light going off inside of ME. Nothing my parents did, said, could've done, or could've said changed/would have changed the situation.
Even when I was attending college and some of this continued for part of the time, threats to throw me out of the house/cut me off didn't work.
And it took, frankly, more than five years for things to really change. I know it's not what you want to hear, OP, but I'm just sharing my experience.
Last edited by afoigrokerkok; 03-25-2014 at 08:32 AM..
Maybe school isn't for him. College sure doesn't seem like a great path for kids nowadays anyway. He will find his own way.
School isn't for him? Does that include high school? LOL... A high school diploma is the bare minimum needed in today's world. And really, you need a college degree or some type of vocational training too.
This sounds just like the high school life my sister and I had! We both had a rough 9th grade. For me it was the transition to high school, and plus I have learning disabilities so it was hard for me to catch on. For my sister it was lack of effort and bad life habits (not eating/going to the bathroom all day until after school). Your son might just need to find his own way. He's not an adult yet so he still needs supervision, encouragement and such, but it's really a normal thing and if he's a decent kid I'm sure he'll grow out of it and realize how important grades are especially when entering the work force or military life. Hope's not lost!
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