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I had a terrible 9th grade year. My parents pulled me out of school and put me in a small private school. It changed my life. Suddenly I had friends that cared about college and grades and extracurricular activities.
Not all private schools obviously are the same but I may consider it if he can't get his act together.
I had a terrible 9th grade year. My parents pulled me out of school and put me in a small private school. It changed my life. Suddenly I had friends that cared about college and grades and extracurricular activities.
Not all private schools obviously are the same but I may consider it if he can't get his act together.
That happened to my sister. She was switched to private school because she was being bullied. She was never a great student and needed private tutors, but she became a great student at the private school. She said everyone studied in the lunchroom every morning (unheard of in the public school). Since that's what everyone did, she did it too and her grades improved.
Check with the school to see if there is a supervised study hall for kids who need "help." Most high schools don't have study halls these days, but there is usually something available for students who need to be forced to focus on studying. This isn't a study hall for kids who need extra help understanding the material but need help actually getting in the habit of doing the material. The IEP might qualify him for something like this. Hopefully, it's available at your district. It might be too late in the year, since he needs to pass all of the courses still in his schedule, but it's something to consider for next year.
Since taking away extra curriculars and technology hasn't been motiving him, you need to do something else. Even though football doesn't enforce grades during practice season, you can pull him from football practice yourself. I'd also seriously consider providing him a structured time at home. He might need to be forced to study instead of trying to influence and motivate via punishments.
Also consider he may be experimenting with marijuana since it steals ambition. He is at the age and he is involved in the activities where it's very common in our region. (You and I live in the same city.) It seems backwards but that's the way it is these days. My children's first time getting high was with their teammates at your son's age. Well, for one child it was 8th grade, the other was 9th grade. You're right in that zone and you live in an affluent district (like I do) where the students have extra spending money for drugs.
All the high schools in my area have various types of study halls. Most have special study halls or resource study halls for students with special needs or need extra help. In those study halls teachers actively assist with homework and completing lessons. In addition, many HSs have "quiet study halls" that do not allow talking or any electronics, students are required to do homework or quietly read. Some of our local HSs have Freshman Study Halls, usually smaller and the teacher or teachers teach freshman classes and they are willing & available to help with academics.
In addition to having study time at home check out the study hall/resource room options available in your son's HS.
Today I was told that I should have had an abortion and then I wouldn't have had to shout at him for his grades.
That's his way of saying, "Stop shouting at me. I'm sick and tired of you shouting at me."
It's not working. Stop. NO young guy in the 9th grade wants his mother shouting at him. Especially if he has an older brother who is getting better grades. Build him up. Encourage him. Guys are wired differently. Less yelling. More, "You can do it!"
All the high schools in my area have various types of study halls. Most have special study halls or resource study halls for students with special needs or need extra help. In those study halls teachers actively assist with homework and completing lessons. In addition, many HSs have "quiet study halls" that do not allow talking or any electronics, students are required to do homework or quietly read. Some of our local HSs have Freshman Study Halls, usually smaller and the teacher or teachers teach freshman classes and they are willing & available to help with academics.
In addition to having study time at home check out the study hall/resource room options available in your son's HS.
Most school districts don't have study halls in this region. I was glad. I didn't accomplish anything in study hall when I was going to school. It is an incredible waste of time for students who don't need to study. (I never needed to study.) Although study halls have been eliminated, it's good that there are some guided study halls for children with special circumstances.
Both my kids failed classes their freshman year of high school. I was pretty on top of things after that happened and the < 2.0 gpa's crept back up over the next 3 years. Even still, neither of them actually APPLIED themselves and were very average, but I constantly harped on the fact that they weren't going to be losers who lived my house until they were 30 because they couldn't handle HS, and neither of them wanted that either.
My eldest went through a similar thing her freshman year of college (she lived away from home for the first time and partied too much) which she then had to make up by taking summer classes. We also realized she did better with 4 classes instead of 5 so she did take an extra year to graduate and do a short internship, but hasn't needed my help since then. Youngest is taking college really slow (part time CC for 3 years while working, now 3/4 transitioning to full time at a 4 year) but his gpa has risen with every semester and now sits at 3.5. Ironically he MAY end up living with me until he's 30....haha. Only joking, mostly. Hopefully he'll be gone before he's 26!
All the high schools in my area have various types of study halls. Most have special study halls or resource study halls for students with special needs or need extra help. In those study halls teachers actively assist with homework and completing lessons. In addition, many HSs have "quiet study halls" that do not allow talking or any electronics, students are required to do homework or quietly read. Some of our local HSs have Freshman Study Halls, usually smaller and the teacher or teachers teach freshman classes and they are willing & available to help with academics.
In addition to having study time at home check out the study hall/resource room options available in your son's HS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
Most school districts don't have study halls in this region. I was glad. I didn't accomplish anything in study hall when I was going to school. It is an incredible waste of time for students who don't need to study. (I never needed to study.) Although study halls have been eliminated, it's good that there are some guided study halls for children with special circumstances.
Just out of curiosity where do the high school students go if they don't have a class for that period instead going to a study hall? Do they get to go home or leave the campus? Or have a "lounge area" or snack area where they just chat with friends or use their phones?
Or do students just have classes scheduled for every period of the school day?
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Not only have high schools in my area not eliminated study halls (except, sometimes, for seniors) many schools have added addition resource & study time. One local high school added a Zero hour where teachers from every subject area are available for homework and study help. In some departments, such as math every teacher is there every day and there are dozens of students getting extra help or just doing homework.
Another HS has added a GO (Go for assistance) Time during half of the extended lunch periods. Every HS teacher is required to be available in their classroom during this time so that students can come to get extra assistance from them, ask questions or to allow students to use their room as an additional study area (besides the various computer labs, writing labs & media center).
OP perhaps they have this type of thing in your area as well and it would be helpful for your child.
Geez. That's great advice if you want an 18 yr old with no prospects in 4 year's time.
14 yr olds don't have the maturity that allows parents to back off and "find their way". They still need structure, expectations, and consequences.
I'd ditch all the extra-curriculars, including the Sea Cadets, until the grades come up. I'm surprised that he's allowed to participate in the program with poor grades.
Hopefully, you have discussed all this with guidance counselors and teachers OP? And have confirmed that it's largely due to a lack of effort?
Plenty of kids stumble as they begin high school. There's less hand holding, and more freedom. Hold him accountable, and know he still has time to bring up his gpa.
Sometimes backing off does help. My kid was doing terribly in middle school - in 7th grade he took a test which showed he passed out of 8th grade math and could take algebra but the counselor said with his poor grades, it would be better for him to take 8th grade math and besides the teachers for algebra were better in high school -- which is 9th grade here. His first grade in 8th grade math was an F. So I asked him how he could get an F in a class he didn't even need to take, so without bringing a book home, his next grade was an A.
No amount of punishing, rewarding, cajoling, threatening, praising made any difference -- taking video games away and keeping the tv off made no difference. The counselor said teachers were over-reacting when they complained, but I figured once he graduated from 8th grade, that was it, at least he had that. I was tired of parent-teacher meetings that were always the same, all pretty bad, however when he went to high school, he would make sure I planned to go -- wanted me to go.
In 9th grade his grades improved quite a bit, but in the 10th grade, teachers were praising him, saying he was doing great -- I'd have to stop them and make sure they were talking about my kid. His grades went up each semester. He worked his way through college, got a good job in his field and has received several raises and promotions and is talking about going back to get his Phd.
I think sometimes it's puberty, sometimes obstinence, but sometimes they don't care anymore about the basic subjects but when they get into chemistry, physics, algebra etc it becomes more interesting.
And my niece was the opposite, all through grade school, middle school, and high school, she was a top student. Straight As, she got an academic scholarship to college, started out doing okay, the second semester in her second year, her grades did a nosedive, she quit college and refused to talk about going back.
Just out of curiosity where do the high school students go if they don't have a class for that period instead going to a study hall? Do they get to go home or leave the campus? Or have a "lounge area" or snack area where they just chat with friends or use their phones?
Or do students just have classes scheduled for every period of the school day?
They have classes scheduled for every period of the day. There's an abundance of electives for every interest. There are full year electives like foreign language, and there are half year and quarter year electives too.
I just looked up the OP's school district. It does have study halls. That doesn't mean they are guided. (I slept in my study halls.) I bet there is an intervention one available though.
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