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I don't think it is ever right to curse or about your children. Just NEVER.
One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing/watching someone say, "Isn't that cute?" when a toddler has "learned" a curse word and someone films it or get them to say it at gatherings or in public (or anywhere, for that matter). There's my opinion.
I find the idea of swearing AT your kid fairly appalling, but I don't think swearing falls into the "never, ever do around your kids" category. I have dropped a "dammit" or "ah sh*t!" when my kids are within earshot, and I never realized how awful that was. You learn something new on the internet every day I guess!
I'm always doing that, swear words come out my mouth without me even thinking half the time. Been pretty lucky so far though as the only words my kid has copied is telling the cat to bugger off (which isn't so bad, although my parents would consider it very rude) and once saying sh*t on a stick.
I've been sworn at by father when I was younger (11-16). I've been called a prick, dog, pimp...He was very easy on the swear words, retorted to them rather quickly...
But now I'm the one swearing at him and he doesn't answer me back (funny). It's true they say if you have power on people they'd shut up, whereas staying quiet will make them 'win' more and belittle you (I'm 21 now). He's a much better dad now though. My sister is strong with the swear words - she feeds him those everyday, but we laugh at times.
Mum's only said 'Goddamn you' to me a couple of times and 'moron'. And we're not a dysfunctional family. We're actually normal. We're just different.
Like someone said, cursing at someone isn't generally considered acceptable anyhow, child or otherwise, and I'd agree with that but people still do it. They may not be bad people, they might just be one of many who have less control over their language on impulse than others do.
Plus as evidenced in this thread, people define "at" differently. Where I come from, telling your kid to get their a$$ in gear would be considered cursing at them because you're cursing in reference to them while talking to them. Others wouldn't agree. There's really no right or wrong there.
I belong to the camp that doesn't use any form of profanity at or around children. Of course they'll grow up and hear it some other place and likely start cursing themselves. Doesn't mean I need to contribute to it. Verbally, I dont curse at adults either and almost never curse when speaking period. I curse often when I write, though, because I just do.
I think what's more important is emotionally abusive language. People focus so much on cursing as if saying a bad word is the most terrible thing in the world while otherwise saying some really inappropriate, hostile, damaging things to and around children. Many seem convinced for some reason that as long as you're not cursing, it's fine and that belief carries over into a lot of other things, even on here.
I disagree with that but whatever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat
Cursing is a really bad habit in any situation. Substitute cussing is the "Dang it all!" sort of thing and that's really not okay either. Why not pick intelligent words and express how you feel?
That reminded me of a conversation my pastor had when I was a child and no, I'm not religious or trying to make this religious. He was talking about profanity and the fact that you can't hide your intentions from God by mincing words. Saying heck is no better than hell, darn than damn, shoot than sh-t, because what's in your heart is the same. It isn't the word itself that makes it profane.
I agree with that sentiment to an extent, so I either curse outright or don't curse at all in any form. I don't consider saying something in between to be any better just because it's deemed more appropriate externally. When I say fudge it's because I feel like saying fudge, not because I think I'm being above someone who would just say fu-k.
I'm not much of a cusser, so no, I don't cuss at/around my kids (they're 6). But at the same time, I'm not so naive to think that they'll never cuss. They will, I just want to make sure they're able to control it/use those words in appropriate situations. I've known adults who seemed to have no control over it and lacked the ability to put together a sentence without the "F" word in it. That's just trashy, IMO! If your kid can't control cussing, how will they ever get a professional job?
That said, I'm reserving cuss words for when they're teenagers. When they hear me drop an F-Bomb, their eyes will bug out and they'll KNOW how mad I am lol!
Haha Yeah I know how frustrating kids can be. Just given my personal experience with it I'm not interested in repeating that kind of behavior with someone else.
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