Is it expected to do something for a mom for mothers day? Moms would you expect your kids to do something for you? (son, school)
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It is a real holiday. It was created by Anna Jarvis who grew up in Grafton, West Virginia. She started to campaign for it in honor of her mother the year she died in the early 1900s. President Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation making Mother's Day a national holiday a few years later.
You beat me to it! I will add the original purpose of Mother's Day was to improve maternal and child health. Here's an interestng article about the beginnings of Mother's Day. Mother's Day Turns 100: Its Surprisingly Dark History Granted, it's been somewhat commercialized, but what holiday hasn't? No one is required to give extravagant gifts, fancy dinners or spend the entire 24 hours with one's mother. My daughter who lives in town and her spouse had DH and I over for brunch and they gave me two books, a murder mystery (my fave) and a kids' book about Roberto Clemente b/c I am a Pittsburgh Pirates fan and work in pediatrics.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
You shoulda been here for the 60's. A group called "Another Mother For Peace" used to have anti-war protests on Mother's Day.
I remember "Another Mother for Peace"! They were all over my college campus (University of Pittsburgh) in the 60s.
I remember "Another Mother for Peace"! They were all over my college campus (University of Pittsburgh) in the 60s.
It was easier for mothers to demonstrate against war when their children were drafted. Today, they would be viewed as not being supportive of their children who willingly volunteered to be soldiers.
We don't make an enormous project of mothers/fathers day but we do something a little special.
My husband and sons planned a nice dinner. My husband bought shrimp and chicken and smoked them. My kids made cookies from scratch and they cleaned up after dinner while I sat my butt on the couch. My dad brought me flowers.
Not a huge production, but something.
As for the OP, I think that if you don't want a relationship with your mother that is fine.
I too had an abusive and neglectful mom that was terrible to me. When Mother's Day came rolling around it was expected and basically growled at me that it was a day that I was to pay homage to her. It was forced upon me.
I have children and because of going through all the strain of Mother's Days as a kid, I'd like to forget all about the holiday. I tell my kids every year I do not need to be celebrated for this day. I expect nor desire a thing.
When mine were small they got such a kick out of making cards and buying flowers at the school just for Mother's Day. I loved seeing the joy they felt in doing things.
Once they brought me breakfast in bed. I wasn't awake yet and they brought the tray (toast and coffee, how sweet) and literally stuck the tray under my head. Lol!!!! Thankfully they never did that again. Scared me to death!!
My kids know how my own mother was. They are completely behind me with however I feel about her. She's gone now.
When they got older, I told them that I really didn't like Mother's Day. It just seems such a selfish holiday to me. I really can't explain it. I don't want them to feel obligated at all. I downplay it and try to avoid it. They know how I feel yet still want to do things for me for it.
Honestly us just having lunch or something is just fine. Nothing would be fine too.
The best gift they could ever give me is to grow to be happy, caring, and successful people.
OP, thank you for this thread and I'm sorry for how you were treated.
I've heard of cases where if children are out of work, a phone call would be sufficient. I've seen some mothers "blow up" when they receive gifts, especially expensive ones from said children.
Some don't, and what they do is just show their appreciation for their mothers all year round.
In most cases I've observed, it is big enough that the holiday mobilizes gifts, eating out, deliveries, and traveling to be with family.
I expect something, in the sense that my kids always do handmade cards and crafts, and it would be odd if they didn't. My husband is always very good about treating me well, too, and while I do not think it's necessary, I have become somewhat accustomed to it.
I had a wonderful childhood and have a good relationship with my mom. We live far apart but I do a phone call and flowers, plus a gift card to a local garden store. That's pretty much the tradition. My siblings who live near her always take her out for brunch.
My husband's childhood was not as happy and he doesn't have the best relationship with his mother. Nothing abusive (maybe some emotional) but just not a good thing. I reminded him about 4 times to call her yesterday, before he finally did at almost 10 p.m.
If you had a **** parent growing up, I don't think you should feel obligated to pretend a sense of filial love and devotion you don't really feel.
I would never EXPECT my children to do something for me for Mother's Day. I usually take my daughter out for Mother's Day for lunch, and she usually takes me to dinner, but this year we did neither, because we'd been on vacation together.
This makes me think of my SIL who hounds her son constantly about her birthday and Mother's Day. She even puts "World's Greatest Mother"-type ecards on HIS Facebook wall. She's also a nutbag, can't you tell? LOL
We have low expectations in my house, mainly because my own mother had VERY HIGH expectations when I was growing up. She wanted the moon on Mother's Day (and cried on the phone the one year I forgot to call her to wish her a happy mother's day). I try to at least remember to send her a gift of some kind each year. This year I didn't have to remember to call her because she's on vacation overseas at the moment.
I, on the other hand, am content with a hug and kiss and a simple "Happy Mother's Day" from my own kids. I don't need gifts or cards or cake or anything like that. Yesterday I got no gifts, but I did get a card and my kids presented a cake last night after dinner.
But my day was like any other weekend - doing laundry, making breakfast lunch and dinner, doing the dishes, cleaning the house, etc. No biggie.
I had a wonderful childhood and my mom was/still is my role model. I absolutely love her and couldnt imagine a childhood without her. I send her flowers every year and of course a phone call (she lives in another country). This year, I sent her a gift card to her favorite store as the flower company started charging $25 for delivery alone and I didnt see why i shoud spend almost $100 on flowers when I can send something with which she can buy something which will last longer than flowers.
On the other hand, my DH had a very very abusive (emotionally) childhood. We were sending flowers until about 2 years ago and then stopped after all the drama started.
Will I expect something from my 2 year old? No. But she did make a craft which she brought home for me. LOVED it!
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