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Why do so many of you think everyone has to look at pornography?
Once upon a time the only way for a kid to access pornography was to find an adult's stash of magazines. Today if there is a computer or mobile phone in the house the kid may be more tech savvy than the adults and able to break any security giving him access to free videos of most any legal sexual act. Without too much work he can also get illegal child and animal porn.
The social codes which preach do not masturbate, the reason for the porn in the first place started weakening before first VCR technology and now the internet made it easier for boys to obtain their visual aides. Yes some may accept the older teaching that it is a sin or even it is misogynous but then gay porn is also out breaking that half of the argument.
I agree with those who said their option wasn't listed in the poll. I would not confiscate, but I would have age, gender and content appropriate conversation about it. Specifically about things like safe sex and the fact that women/men as depicted in those magazines/websites are not average, and not to let them become the expectation or get obsessed with them, that sort of thing, as others have said.
Putting him in therapy or punishing, just means that that child will never come to you with any serious problem or questions. That is a great way to raise a child if you want them to be screwed up for life, but it is no way to raise a responsible, mature adult. Teach the child it is ok to come to you for anything, and you may have some uncomfortable conversations, but you will raise a more well adjusted adult, as well as an adult who is less likely to catch an STD or have an unplanned child.
And as a woman, I freely admit to looking at porn as well, and I did as a teenager also. It is a healthy, normal part of growing up. Just because some people choose to suppress it, doesn't change that fact.
I don't want to raise a Rod/Tod Flanders that grows up to become Ned Flanders. There's a reason those characters are funny.
I find it interesting that I haven't insulted one of you about your preference in watching pornography but I've been called all sorts of names like Puritan, prude and now this.
I find it telling that you believe people who don't watch porn are somehow prudish.
I agree with those who said their option wasn't listed in the poll. I would not confiscate, but I would have age, gender and content appropriate conversation about it. Specifically about things like safe sex and the fact that women/men as depicted in those magazines/websites are not average, and not to let them become the expectation or get obsessed with them, that sort of thing, as others have said.
Putting him in therapy or punishing, just means that that child will never come to you with any serious problem or questions. That is a great way to raise a child if you want them to be screwed up for life, but it is no way to raise a responsible, mature adult. Teach the child it is ok to come to you for anything, and you may have some uncomfortable conversations, but you will raise a more well adjusted adult, as well as an adult who is less likely to catch an STD or have an unplanned child.
And as a woman, I freely admit to looking at porn as well, and I did as a teenager also. It is a healthy, normal part of growing up. Just because some people choose to suppress it, doesn't change that fact.
The boy is 14. The mother found Hustler mags from the 1980s. She took them, confronted him with them in front of the whole family (including grandparents), and sentenced him to weekly therapy for 3 months.
I am told he is in therapy because she is convinced he is a sex addict just because a few of the pages were stuck together. And yet, the mags are nearly 30 years old! How does she know they weren't in that condition before he got a hold of them?
I feel sorry for the chap...and I am happy to report I have heard he has been uncooperative with his therapist.
IMO....Mom needs therapy. That is a rite of passage for teen boys and Hustler from 30 years ago is tame compared to whet he could find out there today.
Maybe a private chat between son and dad but not therapy and exposing him to the whole family...yikes
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