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Nothing wrong with it at all, good to be open with your children about sex and all it entails. Many kids are not even open with their kids about who they find attractive.
You and your son have a healthy relationship. Your sister is being unrealistic, if your son had referred to women as "*****-s and ho%$" then that is objectification but not this.
Juvenile, yes, that's apt.
Look, it is pretty normal for a kid to talk that way to his peers, bragging and posturing, rite of passage, etc. Overheard my son and friends doing it around that age. (Made sure to have a chat with him later. )
But you're his dad, you are the one who is supposed to be teaching him that women are more than just their bodies. If he doesn't learn that from you where does he learn it from? I think the various comments to you were inappropriate because of the relationship you have, you aren't supposed to be over in some corner snickering over playboy mags with him as though you're thirteen too.
A perfect summation. As I said, I saw nothing wrong with the original story as it was written. But the subsequent posts make me wonder if there's too much "atta boy" happening between father and son here, with women as the victims. Class it up Dad.
A perfect summation. As I said, I saw nothing wrong with the original story as it was written. But the subsequent posts make me wonder if there's too much "atta boy" happening between father and son here, with women as the victims. Class it up Dad.
I have a 13 year old boy who I really cannot imagine saying something like that to my husband so that's kind of influencing my view of the situation. But first thought, I like that you have a relationship with your son where he feels comfortable expressing himself to you. But second, I would encourage him to keep "guy talk" to just between guys. Saying it in front of your sister was a bit inappropriate. It is objectifying a woman.
Well, I can see how she would disapprove of the objectification of women. Next time she is in the car with you and your son, make sure to respectfully point out the super smart girls walking down the street and high five your son over it.
Honestly, your best parenting option at this point is to ask your son what he thinks and have a respectful conversation about your sisters point of view. Why did she wait for him to get out of the car?
People like you turn boys gay. Are you aware of that?
I don't remember remarking on anyone's sex appeal in 8th or 9th grade. My peers were cute, but "hot," I don't ever remember thinking a 20-something dude is "hot," nor would my mom agree or remark about the apparent hotness of a 20-something dude jogging shirtless.
It isn't even about wrongness here (I am not old fashioned or puritanical), but about the message words send and their connotations. He, at near 14, in this culture, I'm not surprised by the response. Though I'll challenge anyone who attempts to claim it's some inherent "bro" or guy thing, 'cause there are men who don't say such things... bro speak. I just find most of it cheesy, silly and juvenile.
I'm not sure what "pretty well-received..." is supposed to mean here? Does that imply he's part of the cool kids club and his behavior (the pervy kind you speak of) is "cool"?
I asked my husband about this last night, and he had much of the same thoughts (though he did say I am more of a stickler when it comes to words/connotations, etc.) We would prefer our kids to use a different word than one that focuses on sex appeal, and make it a teachable moment, because they have impressionable minds, so explaining men and women are more than their hotness or "junk in the trunk" is a talk we'd have.
I totally thought several 20 somethings were hot. I remember the one year we had several new teachers who were between the ages of 22 and 28. We said they were hot! Because, to us, they were!
A perfect summation. As I said, I saw nothing wrong with the original story as it was written. But the subsequent posts make me wonder if there's too much "atta boy" happening between father and son here, with women as the victims. Class it up Dad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique
This.
Especially his comments about your date. It's one thing to notice that she was pretty but to start asking if you 'got to ride in her caboose' was kind of weird. I thought most children were turned off at the idea of their parents having a sex life.
I have a 13 year old boy who I really cannot imagine saying something like that to my husband so that's kind of influencing my view of the situation. But first thought, I like that you have a relationship with your son where he feels comfortable expressing himself to you. But second, I would encourage him to keep "guy talk" to just between guys. Saying it in front of your sister was a bit inappropriate. It is objectifying a woman.
I'm still not getting the objectification as it pertains to the original post.
Don't think the sister was right to express her views. The conversation was between you and your son. She wouldn't want your input on raising her kids would she?
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