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I don't have a prom story, but I have a non-prom story that is relavent. I'd guess it's fairly typical. I was a sweet (nice has too many connotations), shy, nerdy boy who floor it in his head to ask someone to prom. For shy, nerdy boys asking a girl out is basically impossible. Still, I worked up all the courage I had and asked. The girl I asked took it somewhere between disinterested and offended. I worked up even more courage and asked someone else--she was much nicer about but had a date already. Two failures were enough for me so I gave up and didn't go.
About a year later I was with a group of friends that included women (my close friends were all boys). The topic of prom came up and they women were all surprised that a) I had any interest in going b) that I was able to ask anyone c) that neither of them said yes. The girls all said they would have totally found someone for me, but they just never knew.
If your daughter seems great but hardly ever gets asked our, it's quite possible that there is some shy boy out there who would love to but just doesn't have the courage. Not this information is useful to you, now, but mah e it will make you worry a little less about your daughter.
No one asked my wife to prom, either, and she didn't go. She likes that neither of us went to our school prom.
I don't have a prom story, but I have a non-prom story that is relavent. I'd guess it's fairly typical. I was a sweet (nice has too many connotations), shy, nerdy boy who floor it in his head to ask someone to prom. For shy, nerdy boys asking a girl out is basically impossible. Still, I worked up all the courage I had and asked. The girl I asked took it somewhere between disinterested and offended. I worked up even more courage and asked someone else--she was much nicer about but had a date already. Two failures were enough for me so I gave up and didn't go.
About a year later I was with a group of friends that included women (my close friends were all boys). The topic of prom came up and they women were all surprised that a) I had any interest in going b) that I was able to ask anyone c) that neither of them said yes. The girls all said they would have totally found someone for me, but they just never knew.
If your daughter seems great but hardly ever gets asked our, it's quite possible that there is some shy boy out there who would love to but just doesn't have the courage. Not this information is useful to you, now, but mah e it will make you worry a little less about your daughter.
No one asked my wife to prom, either, and she didn't go. She likes that neither of us went to our school prom.
My husband tells her all the time how important it is to be kind, because it's so hard for young men to summon the courage to ask for a date, so I know you speak the truth. I think it's easier in college, because the young men are less afraid of rejection or maybe they're just as afraid of rejection but better able to handle it.
In any case, the dress was delivered this afternoon, and she is now very excited to go to the dance regardless of not having an official date. Turns out that another (female) friend was also planning to go alone and yet another was planning to skip prom all together, so they're now planning to go as a group. I asked her this evening if she felt awkward about going stag, and she said, "Nah, I just want to go and have fun without being tethered to a boy I barely know. That would be awkward!" It appears my worries were for naught.
Another prom story - some of the boys decided to do the full monty on stage at our prom, one did the actual 'full monty' and then got kicked out of school for it.
And rumour had it that one (male) teacher snogged a boy for a bet but you can't trust the schoolyard rumour mill.
This has been a really supportive thread. I'll add mine.
The traits your daughter exhibits may (or may not) pay long term dividends at this prom but her kind of courage will bring greater rewards for the rest of her life.
I wonder where it came from?
My daughter also had lots of friends, but they were anti-prom types. She decided to go anyway, alone, and when I asked her about it, later, she just said, "no big deal dad, it was just a dance. Even you and mom would have had fun."
Good for your daughter RP, I'm sure she's right that she'll probably end up having more fun with her friends. Her independence will stand her in good stead. Kudos to you for raising a confident young woman, you are a great mom.
My prom story; I had 3 close friends throughout high school and we went to all the dances together, the 4 of us are still very close. The final dance one of my friends ended up in the ER with a bad asthma attack from all the perfumes. He received treatment, then back to the dance we went.
I find it fascinating that so many prom horror stories revolve around a medical emergency.
Or nudity!
And on that note, it was a pleasure shopping this year, because so many dressmakers seem to have finally caught on that the girls would rather spend the night dancing than pulling up a poorly-fitted strapless dress. There were lots of choices for those wanting a bit more coverage on top, which was a nice change. Freshman year, dress shopping for homecoming was a nightmare, because everything looked like it belonged in a burlesque show.
Last edited by randomparent; 05-03-2016 at 07:01 AM..
Reason: Typo
Anybody else run into this? Did you also feel disappointed for your daughter (or son), even as you were confident that it would all work out for the best?
As an aside, I did not attend my high school prom, because I wasn't asked either. In hindsight, I wish I'd had the confidence to do what my daughter is doing, but going alone just wasn't done at that time. I did make up for it in college, however, where I attended many formal events/balls.
Yes, I also grew up in a time when you didn't go to the prom unless a boy asked you, and I didn't have a prayer for that to happen in high school. I think your daughter is very courageous. I hope she has a great time, but I agree with others that her friendship with these people is damaged. I hope this disappointment is a catalyst for new friends and an expanding point of view.
My dd had the same boyfriend all through high school. Jr prom she had strep throat, so she put on her dress, her bf came over, I got them nice dinners from a restaurant, they danced a little in the living room, and then she went back to bed.
I find it fascinating that so many prom horror stories revolve around a medical emergency.
Or nudity!
And on that note, it was a pleasure shopping this year, because so many dressmakers seem to have finally caught on that the girls would rather spend the night dancing than pulling up a poorly-fitted strapless dress. There were lots of choices for young women who wanted a bit more coverage on top, which is a nice change. Freshman year, dress shopping for homecoming was a nightmare, because everything looked like it belonged in a burlesque show.
Years ago (25, actually, because I was.pregnant) I was struggling to find a dress to wear to a cousin's wedding and making numerous trips to the fitting room. There were a bunch of girls at the store trying on prom dresses, which were very tight, sequined, and revealing.
I could hear them chattering, and then one girl said, "These dresses are all so hard to get in and out of! Don't the people who design them know what people do after the prom?"
Years ago (25, actually, because I was.pregnant) I was struggling to find a dress to wear to a cousin's wedding and making numerous trips to the fitting room. There were a bunch of girls at the store trying on prom dresses, which were very tight, sequined, and revealing.
I could hear them chattering, and then one girl said, "These dresses are all so hard to get in and out of! Don't the people who design them know what people do after the prom?"
They were probably just referring to the after-prom carnival. That's it, right?
My prom story: I double-dated with a friend of mine, who was not good-looking, and was admittedly an odd kind of guy. There was really no way he was going to get a date on his own, so his father called in a professional favor from a colleague, whose daughter was quite attractive, and with whom I was casual friends; the two adults arranged a date for their kids. Well, the girl did not take kindly to this at all, so she retaliated by not speaking. I mean, nothing. Not one word. As I drove my father's car on the half-hour trip from my house (where we'd all met up) to the city where the event was being held, there was nothing but stony silence from the back seat. We ate at a ridiculously overpriced and snooty restaurant, and the girl had nothing but a salad that cost $35. (And this was back in the mid-80s!) They did not dance together at all, and she remained icily silent the whole way back home.
Yeah, I understand that she was annoyed at being set up with an un-handsome, not-entirely-normal guy; but she could have had enough class to suck it up and make the best of it for the evening. I was not friends with her after that.
(As for myself, my date and I had a decent time. But I still think the whole prom thing was way overrated.)
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