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My wife and I are having our first child in January it will be a girl. We get along well but since she has been pregnant we have been talking a lot about how to raise our daughter she was a surprise. Anyway we agree or compromise on most things but there is one that has become a particular issue.
While my wife isn't obviously gay or even bi a lot of her friends are and she always goes to gay pride parades to show support. I am pretty neutral on the subject and am nice to her friends and everything but don't go to any parades or anything. However my wife told me she wants our daughter to basically be engrossed in the whole thing. Talking about taking her to all the gay parades and such. That really concerns me I have watched lots of videos and seen pictures of these parades and honestly a lot of it seems really gross and not appropriate for a small child. Just check out the folsom street fair :eek
I said if she wants to have her friends around that's one thing but I really don't want her heavily involved with the culture. My wife got upset and said I was being a bigot. Am I wrong here?
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
"Bigot" might be a strong word, but we see on this thread that the minute anyone says "pride parade" people jump right in with the accusations of simulated sex and fetish gear and promiscuity in public. As if that is what being gay is about or how most gay people act. For someone who has gay friends and is involved in the LGBT community, when her spouse leaps right to that stereotype and implies that she is going to take their young child to gay sex parties as a rule, then yeah, that might seem bigoted to her.
It seems to me the OP wasn't implying....He was reacting to what his spouse actually said. See underlined in OP.
As a parent it would be very irresponsible to take children anywhere that promiscuity was happening. After all, you wouldn't be supportive of a hetero taking a child to Mardi Gras would you. Many things should be off limits while a child is growing up.
I think that the OP is being responsible and has valid concerns about his wife's verbalized intentions.
I said if she wants to have her friends around that's one thing but I really don't want her heavily involved with the culture. My wife got upset and said I was being a bigot. Am I wrong here?
I'm not thinking this is even going to be an issue for this couple after the baby is born. Alot of people think they know what life with baby will be like ... until baby is actually "here".
Hopefully the maternal/paternal instincts kick in & both parents realize their duty to protect a child from any activity that is adult themed. Straight vs gay isn't even relevant here.
Alot of those "delusions of grandeur" go out the window when the tiny human starts to grow into the individual that they are. I think the term "mini-me" is only cute when used in reference to a childs appearance but not so much with just about anything else.
The father who insists his son become an all-star Football player then thinks his kid is a failure because he is artistic? Wrong.
The mom who insists her daughter be in dance & pageants when the kid is having the time of her life running around on a soccer field getting dirty? Also wrong.
my wife isn't obviously gay or bi
...
she wants our daughter to basically be engrossed in the whole thing. Talking about taking her to all the gay parades and such.
...
I really don't want her heavily involved with the culture. My wife got upset and said I was being a bigot.
My daughter IS gay and she doesn't do any of that stuff.
I have a feeling your wife is gay/bi and she just hasn't come out yet, if she would want to immerse a child in all of that.
My wife and I are having our first child in January it will be a girl. We get along well but since she has been pregnant we have been talking a lot about how to raise our daughter she was a surprise. Anyway we agree or compromise on most things but there is one that has become a particular issue.
While my wife isn't obviously gay or even bi a lot of her friends are and she always goes to gay pride parades to show support. I am pretty neutral on the subject and am nice to her friends and everything but don't go to any parades or anything. However my wife told me she wants our daughter to basically be engrossed in the whole thing. Talking about taking her to all the gay parades and such. That really concerns me I have watched lots of videos and seen pictures of these parades and honestly a lot of it seems really gross and not appropriate for a small child. Just check out the folsom street fair :eek
I said if she wants to have her friends around that's one thing but I really don't want her heavily involved with the culture. My wife got upset and said I was being a bigot. Am I wrong here?
Lots of different thoughts here. First, just because you are married to your wife, having sex and now a baby with her doesn't make it obvious that she is not gay or bi; she could be either. Or neither. But sexual orientation doesn't have to be obvious.
Second, I think where you live matters. If you live in Mississippi, the gay pride parade may be very different from San Francisco's or NYC's. I'd get to know the parade before passing judgment on it. The Folsom Street Fair is NOT a gay pride parade, it isn't even that gay. It is a fetish festival and it attracts a lot of straight people as well as gay.
Third, what does "engrossed in the whole thing" mean? Ditto for "all the gay parades and such". Which gay pride parades? What does and such mean? I don't know of any city that does two or more gay pride parades a year, they do one parade. There may be other events during the year, like Halloween events, but only one pride parade.
I don't think videos are a great way to judge a pride parade, nothing beats personal experience. If your daughter is being born in January you can go to the next gay pride parade with your wife (and daughter) and see what they are actually like. Your child won't have memories of things until three years old or so so you have at least two full years to see these things in person and make a fair judgement.
Lastly, going to a few gay pride events a year won't constitute "heavy involvement with the culture".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne
I saw tons of kids at the last Pride parade I went to. Not sure what you find so "gross", new poster....
What gay pride parade where? I am guessing it wasn't LA, NYC of SF if you didn't see anything inappropriate (gross) for children. Gay pride parades used to be political parades about rights. Now they have many elements that seem to be about promoting promiscuity.
Gay Pride 1970
I don't think this mild example helps the gay rights cause. I can't post the worst examples.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
"Bigot" might be a strong word, but we see on this thread that the minute anyone says "pride parade" people jump right in with the accusations of simulated sex and fetish gear and promiscuity in public. As if that is what being gay is about or how most gay people act. For someone who has gay friends and is involved in the LGBT community, when her spouse leaps right to that stereotype and implies that she is going to take their young child to gay sex parties as a rule, then yeah, that might seem bigoted to her.
The OP didn't say or imply that a gay pride parade was the same as a gay sex party, but if you deny that simulated sex, fetish gear and promiscuity in public aren't parts of many of the major parades in the country then you burying your head in the sand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30
What is Folsom? I can tell it's a sort of March or something but has it a bad reputation for trouble?
The Folsom Street Fair is a street fair, not a parade, and it is for fetish people, not necessarily gay people. It is about as raunchy as it can get in the public square, but it is easy to avoid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
Your wife "always" goes to gay pride parades.....but you've never been to one. In all the time you were dating...and have been married....you haven't gone with her to a pride parade.
Showing support to the gay community is obviously important to her.....but you let her go alone, or with friends, while you did.....what? Seems a little strange you'd marry someone who supports the LGBTQ community but never got around to attending something she "always" does. Now you've decided to check it out on the the internet... and you managed to find Castro - one of the most extreme events on the planet ....instead of attending an event with the woman you sleep with who "always" goes to pride parades.
If the wife "always goes to gay pride parades" that might be 5-10 total gay pride parades in the 5-10 years (or whatever the length of the relationship is) they have been together. They only happen once a year. Now if she is traveling all over the country to hit 7. 8, 9 parades a year, every year for the length of the relationship, well that is something different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
BTW: There are pride parades that are very family friendly. No sex shows. No naked people. Just members of the LGBTQ community and their spouses, kids, families, friends and supporters enjoying a parade. Find one.
Since you seem to have first hand knowledge of these nudity free, family friendly gay pride parades maybe you could list five or six for the OP to research.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBeam33
There is a whole lot of middle ground between her friends being "around" and taking a kid to a notorious gay pride parade. Have you no conception of that? And why do you only want her friends "around" and not part of your lives like any other friends?
If you want to keep the gay friends away because they are gay, then yes, you are a bigot. Your daughter might be incredibly involved in the gay culture because she might turn out to be gay. What will you do then?
I think you are reading far, far too much into "I said if she wants to have her friends around that's one thing.."
Where did the OP say they were treated any differently from any other friends? Where did the OP say he wanted to keep gay friends away?
You're not a bigot.
Your wife is immature.
I'm gay and I think the parades are stupid and over the top.
I don't know a single person who goes to those things.
My wife and I are having our first child in January it will be a girl. We get along well but since she has been pregnant we have been talking a lot about how to raise our daughter she was a surprise. Anyway we agree or compromise on most things but there is one that has become a particular issue.
While my wife isn't obviously gay or even bi a lot of her friends are and she always goes to gay pride parades to show support. I am pretty neutral on the subject and am nice to her friends and everything but don't go to any parades or anything. However my wife told me she wants our daughter to basically be engrossed in the whole thing. Talking about taking her to all the gay parades and such. That really concerns me I have watched lots of videos and seen pictures of these parades and honestly a lot of it seems really gross and not appropriate for a small child. Just check out the folsom street fair :eek
I said if she wants to have her friends around that's one thing but I really don't want her heavily involved with the culture. My wife got upset and said I was being a bigot. Am I wrong here?
Folsom St fair is the LGBT equivalent of Mardi Gras. I don't blame you at all for not wanting to take your daughter to those types of places.
However, there are many events that are LGBT-inclusive that are perfectly family friendly.
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