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Old 03-21-2017, 07:22 AM
 
16,709 posts, read 19,444,574 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marissa23 View Post
What do you think?
That you are overreacting. She was just commenting on how much your mother enjoyed playing with her daughter.
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Old 03-21-2017, 07:24 AM
 
6,191 posts, read 7,371,112 times
Reputation: 7570
Oh please. I've been with my husband over ten years and I always have people asking me when I'm going to have a baby. ALWAYS.

I think it's annoying but nah I don't let it get to me.
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Old 03-21-2017, 09:15 AM
 
518 posts, read 926,299 times
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Personally, I think you should just let it go. You know your current path in life and nobody can dictate that to you. Words are wind and opinions are like a**holes. Some people view having children as a badge of honor, some people are stuck in old societal norms and think that everyone should follow those norms. If you are happy with where you are, then agree with the statement and move on. Although, I think your outrage at the comment may indicate something that you need to deal with in relation to your own life. I'm not saying it is the not having kids thing, but it may have touched a nerve of some sort.

My courtship with my wife was a long one and we were married for 5 years before we had our first child. I received lots of comments like this at family functions for both sides of our family. I would just say when it happens it happens. I snapped once after our first pregnancy fell through and someone made a comment like that at the 1st birthday party for one of my nephew-in-law's illegitimate children. I apologized afterward, but it was gut wrenching with the loss being more raw than I thought it was.
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Old 03-21-2017, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
11,936 posts, read 13,136,148 times
Reputation: 27079
When people say incredibly stupid things to me, I just stare at them and let it sink in as to HOW stupid their comments are to me.

It works every time. I always get an apology.
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Old 03-21-2017, 12:05 PM
 
491 posts, read 475,273 times
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You'll always get people saying this to you about kids. I will say that nowadays most people are postponing children, and of there are always people who don't want to have children or can't have children for whatever reason. It's a personal question. I would just laugh it off or just say, "maybe, eventually."

That being said, if you are thinking about having children, it is better to have them when you're young. Your fertility goes down after 30. You just don't know how your body will be. That's your choice, though. If you want to have children, then make it a priority, otherwise, you might be too old. Whatever you choose is fine.
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Old 03-21-2017, 12:38 PM
 
2,792 posts, read 1,649,266 times
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People say insulting and insensitive things all the time. This is one of them. Why? Because everyone has their own beliefs of how human beings should live and they get annoyed when they see others not living the way THEY believe. But some people can keep their mouths shut, others like this lady can't.
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Old 03-21-2017, 01:32 PM
 
5,126 posts, read 7,421,147 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marissa23 View Post

The following happened when I was 27. I was single at the time. I was at my mother's for the weekend(I'm her only child). A married couple with two kids, ages five years and six months, came over for a few hours. The wife is five years older than me.They aren't close friends, but my mom knew the woman's parents years back and we helped them out when they settled in our area. Anyhow, my mother was playing with their daughter and being very affectionate, as many people are around kids. This woman looks at me and says with a smile on her face:

"[Mother's name] doesn't have a granddaughter".
Next time, say: "Yeah, but she'd probably prefer that I get the husband before the child."
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Old 03-21-2017, 04:00 PM
 
21,382 posts, read 7,972,648 times
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Or you could be like a woman I know who just had her fourth and gets " when are you going to stop?" "Why did you have so many?"

Find something else to be annoyed about. I do agree that there is a reason THIS comment has you rattled. It's up to you to figure out why.
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Old 03-21-2017, 04:02 PM
 
3,137 posts, read 2,714,787 times
Reputation: 6097
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marissa23 View Post
This woman looks at me and says with a smile on her face:
"[Mother's name] doesn't have a granddaughter".
?
If someone said that to anyone in my home, I would ask them to leave. It's unacceptable under my own roof.

So there's what I think.
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Old 03-21-2017, 04:04 PM
 
21,382 posts, read 7,972,648 times
Reputation: 18157
Quote:
Originally Posted by clearlevel View Post
You'll always get people saying this to you about kids. I will say that nowadays most people are postponing children, and of there are always people who don't want to have children or can't have children for whatever reason. It's a personal question. I would just laugh it off or just say, "maybe, eventually."

That being said, if you are thinking about having children, it is better to have them when you're young. Your fertility goes down after 30. You just don't know how your body will be. That's your choice, though. If you want to have children, then make it a priority, otherwise, you might be too old. Whatever you choose is fine.
I agree with this. After 30, most women are taking fertility drugs/struggling to get pregnant. Add in the cost of fertility treatments, yikes. Most would have been better off financially postponing the career, getting pregnant naturally and then resuming career.

If you do want to become a mom -- and this is for all young women -- you need to devote as much time to your career as you do to finding a spouse and getting ready to have the kids. I've seen it again and again, have two friends in fact who waited till 40 to have a kid. It's a tough, tough way to wait that long.
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