Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm one that complains about the cost of childcare, and that's just because I think it deincentivizes (did I just make up a word? I may have) people from ever going back to work.
And let's be honest, usually those "people" are mothers and if a family has 3 or 4 kids, she may be out of the work force for 10-15 years by the time the oldest is in middle school then her skills are out of date and she probably never can be fully employed. And while that situation does work out for some people for others it causes marital strife, economic issues, problems with not having enough saved for retirement, etc. I should put this in the context that in my current town, daycares are $2000-2400 PER CHILD, per month. So two kids would be $4-5 thousand a month. 3 is almost unimaginable. Yes, that's $48,000-56,000 a year in childcare expenses. So of course, anyone with a lower paying job will never go back to work. imagine a fast food or big box retail worker who tries getting public assistance in one of these dumb programs that requires the parent to look for a job? What job will a HS educated person have where they can immediately start making 100k + a year which affords them enough to pay for childcare AND rent/food/expenses/insurance?
I'm in my late 30s, and my friend group is already starting to go through some divorces and it's pretty scary to see what happens between working men and their SAH exes when the gloves come off during a contentious divorce. Some states have laws that will protect a SAH spouse but others don't and I've already see one friend move in with her retired parents, and seen another move her elderly parents in with her to help with rent and child care, and a third quickly jump into a new marriage that seems a little bit like a hot mess as an outside observer and I do sometimes wonder if she would have married so quickly if she had more economic choice. The friend who has moved in with her retired parents has an ex that is so incensed at the idea of paying alimony + child support to someone he isn't married to, that he's threatening to quit his job and liquidate everything he has via gambling and vacation rather than pay her a cent. Are there a lot of normal men/fathers that would never do that? Of course.
Last things first, I'm sorry to hear about your friends. Divorce can be a real b**** when there are young kids involved. That's why when my brother and his now-ex divorced with a 7 and 10 year old, I thought things must have gotten pretty bad. I don't know if my brother was a deadbeat dad or not; I never asked him.
Secondly, what suggestion do you have for the day care problem? Many countries do it through taxation, but I have read that then there's a lot of societal pressure to return to work ASAP. And it gets to be a chicken and egg thing, work to pay taxes to pay for day care to work, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyworld
No I do not...I have a flat fee per day..OK so someone gets a bargain for the day and I make out like a bandit if they pick up at 4:00 instead of 5:30. I am not a dishonest person nor do I charge extra. Traffic happens
I am not out to rip people off...I got into Day Care because I love kids. I always wanted more kids but couldn't have any more and started off that way just babysitting then I turned it into a business when my kids were small as a little extra income. I am a sucker for babies and toddlers. It is a fun job where you get to laugh be silly and hope you made a difference. You don't know me so you wouldn't understand .
I am also not here to argue or justify what I do for a living. I just wanted to give some perspective from a Day Care Provider.
Have a good day
No one was accusing you of "ripping" anyone off. You started out saying you made $50/day, indicated all your expenses had to come out of that. I asked how many kids you had and if that was $50/kid or $50/day total.
Even though I worked part time when my kids were small, sometimes very part time (like one afternoon a week at a vaccination clinic), I used a lot of different day care and seemed to be always looking for a provider. IME, most centers charged a flat fee for the day, basically for 10 hours. They're the ones that charged extra if you were late, sometime $1 a minute or more. You didn't usually get a break if you were early either. Home day care people usually charged by the hour, or a flat rate for after school or whatever. I don't know about late charges, DH and I were always able to work it out that someone could pick the kids up at the appointed time. I know that isn't possible for everyone. I never expected to get a break if I/he were early, either.
No I do not...I have a flat fee per day..OK so someone gets a bargain for the day and I make out like a bandit if they pick up at 4:00 instead of 5:30. I am not a dishonest person nor do I charge extra. Traffic happens
I am not out to rip people off...I got into Day Care because I love kids. I always wanted more kids but couldn't have any more and started off that way just babysitting then I turned it into a business when my kids were small as a little extra income. I am a sucker for babies and toddlers. It is a fun job where you get to laugh be silly and hope you made a difference. You don't know me so you wouldn't understand .
I am also not here to argue or justify what I do for a living. I just wanted to give some perspective from a Day Care Provider.
Have a good day
If you watch 2 kids from 2 different families, that's $10/hour. 3 kids is $15 And you are approaching the starting salary in my career field. I don't have to know you to be able to do the math. Most home day care providers are going to watch more than one kid.
Darned if I can see how working your tail off all day and then coming home and working your tail off all night to care for kids, is somehow more "selfish" than staying home with the kiddos.
The vast majority of women with children who work need to do so.
This comes from someone whose mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother were all working women. My mother was a teacher; grandmother was a clerk/bookkeeper; and great-grandmother cleaned houses. So these were not some high powered "career women". They needed the money.
Darned if I can see how working your tail off all day and then coming home and working your tail off all night to care for kids, is somehow more "selfish" than staying home with the kiddos.
The vast majority of women with children who work need to do so.
This comes from someone whose mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother were all working women. My mother was a teacher; grandmother was a clerk/bookkeeper; and great-grandmother cleaned houses. So these were not some high powered "career women". They needed the money.
Darned if I can see how working your tail off all day and then coming home and working your tail off all night to care for kids, is somehow more "selfish" than staying home with the kiddos.
The vast majority of women with children who work need to do so.
This comes from someone whose mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother were all working women. My mother was a teacher; grandmother was a clerk/bookkeeper; and great-grandmother cleaned houses. So these were not some high powered "career women". They needed the money.
Not whats being said at all... being in need of money to support children is totally different from the ones who have cash and are comfortable, and who pay as much in childcare as they earn..this I cant get my head round at all...
I agree with you and the post.... its not about that though.. its the career girl mums who have children and rush to get back into work leaving them with childminders when they dont need the money at all.. dont they realize just how much they will miss out on watching their child grow.. and you cant ever give back that time with fancy holidays or big cars etc.... a baby needs a mum.. ...being in need of money to support your children is a whole other issue... I went to work when my last child started school.. I was lucky as my mum lived nearby, Ill admit to that... but dont know what Id have did if that support hadnt been there ...I dont think Id have gone to work.I lived in a run down area and wouldnt have trusted any childcare in that area at that time to watch my children..
I highly respect working moms. They are contributing to their family income and that takes some of the burden off of the husband. Working moms are special people and no one should be disrespecting them. I think we are beyond that in this day and age though. Most moms I know either work or are looking for a part time job.
Not whats being said at all... being in need of money to support children is totally different from the ones who have cash and are comfortable, and who pay as much in childcare as they earn..this I cant get my head round at all...
See my post from the first page of this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
The cost of day care vs the income of the parent is, of course a factor. However, a couple should also factor in lost income potential of that parent. Yes, being at home with a young child is "priceless," but after staying home with my kids for a few years, I found that my prior work experience was basically negated by my time off. I went back to an entry level position and an entry level salary, and had to start saving for retirement all over again. I was too old when I went back, so I will never get 30 years in before I retire. I will maybe make 65% instead of the 80 or 100% I could have had if I'd worked the whole time. People should look at the big picture, not just the present.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint
I agree with you and the post.... its not about that though.. its the career girl mums who have children and rush to get back into work leaving them with childminders when they dont need the money at all.. dont they realize just how much they will miss out on watching their child grow.. and you cant ever give back that time with fancy holidays or big cars etc.... a baby needs a mum.. ...being in need of money to support your children is a whole other issue... I went to work when my last child started school.. I was lucky as my mum lived nearby, Ill admit to that... but dont know what Id have did if that support hadnt been there ...I dont think Id have gone to work.I lived in a run down area and wouldnt have trusted any childcare in that area at that time to watch my children..
This is your opinion, but do you have any data that suggests that a child actually NEEDS his mom at any particular age, or for any particular amount of time? Food, water and shelter are needs. If you can't provide those, the rest doesn't matter. Years ago there were studies done on kids in orphanages. The results showing that human contact was indeed important. But it doesn't have to come from a parent. Ideally, should it? Maybe. But it doesn't need to. The child is not going to die because their mom goes to work, and someone else holds them, feeds them, plays with them during the day.
When a family needs a second income is not for you to decide. Based on what I know, your own case seems to be extreme, in that you could barely make ends meet, yet didn't feel you "needed" an income. So excuse me if I don't think you should be the one to decide if my income is "needed" for my family.
Not whats being said at all... being in need of money to support children is totally different from the ones who have cash and are comfortable, and who pay as much in childcare as they earn..this I cant get my head round at all...
I think this has been explained numerous times. Many professional women want to continue to work because its good for their careers. I don't see anything wrong with that. We don't denigrate fathers for doing the same. Others may work because they have excellent health insurance or other fringe benefits that help their families.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
