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I need some advice. There is a little boy in my son's first grade class who is bullying him. He tells other kids in the class not to play with my son and if they do he won't be their friend. He calls my son a crybaby, loser, gay and more. I've talked to the teacher but she said it doesn't happen when she's around which leads me to believe it's happening on the playground. I have the father of the child's phone number and am tempted to call and talk to him about it but don't want to make it worse for my son. My son is generally pretty tough and lets most of it roll off him but it definitely bothers him. Two weeks ago I picked him up and he was crying uncontrollably about it.
My question to y'all is what would you do? We talk about how not to react to the child, how to kill him with kindness and how he should just walk away and ignore him. We've been to the teacher. We are in year round school so it's not like they're going to be out for the summer and they're guaranteed to be in class again next year (and every year really-it's a one class track). As a parent I'd want the other parent to call me but I can also see this backfiring. I've met the dad before but he wasn't overly friendly. I just don't want this to go on for years and years and feel like it's time to stop it.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 10 days ago)
35,636 posts, read 17,982,736 times
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I think you need to talk to the principal and the counselor. Since this will be an on-going problem, and won't end at the end of this month, something needs to be done to stem this.
The teacher saying "hmm I don't see it" isn't a sufficient response.
I wouldn't call the father. I would meet with the principle and teacher. I would also help your son make friends with a couple of the other boys in his class. And IME killing bullies with kindness doesn't work. It actually gives them more incentive.
Do you have any inkling of what the home life of the bully is like. I had some physical issues as a youngster and had to endure a lot of this stuff. By the time it intensified in junior high, it was apparent that the aggressors, while not always from economically-disadvantaged families, were devolving into societal "throwaways", and several of them did come to a bad end. But one or two also straightened out their lives.
I can't offer an answer; it's been my experience that the people who voice the most concern over this stuff usually have far too much faith in a bureaucratic "Big Brother / Big Sister" approach, yet are afraid to directly challenge and penalize the aggressor. A bully needs to be recognized and to be taught -- early-on, heavily, and above all, consistently. that he is is "digging himself a hole he can't get out of" -- that is precisely the point that needs to be emphasized. But a teacher who has the guts to do this is likely to be targeted by the parents of the bully.
Last edited by 2nd trick op; 05-25-2017 at 09:30 AM..
Kids, especially boys, tend to try to protect their parents from their big feelings...and keep feelings of shame to themselves. So what you have seen in your son is the tip of the ice burg in how he is actually feelings about the situation. Go to the principal, have a meeting. Give specifics that your son shared. Follow up with your child occasionally. Let the school deal with the family.
Since the year is almost over, make sure they are at least not in the same class next year. What ever "class track" is...choose a different track. Or if the situation isn't fixed, insist the other child be moved.
I need some advice. There is a little boy in my son's first grade class who is bullying him. He tells other kids in the class not to play with my son and if they do he won't be their friend. He calls my son a crybaby, loser, gay and more. I've talked to the teacher but she said it doesn't happen when she's around which leads me to believe it's happening on the playground. I have the father of the child's phone number and am tempted to call and talk to him about it but don't want to make it worse for my son. My son is generally pretty tough and lets most of it roll off him but it definitely bothers him. Two weeks ago I picked him up and he was crying uncontrollably about it.
My question to y'all is what would you do? We talk about how not to react to the child, how to kill him with kindness and how he should just walk away and ignore him. We've been to the teacher. We are in year round school so it's not like they're going to be out for the summer and they're guaranteed to be in class again next year (and every year really-it's a one class track). As a parent I'd want the other parent to call me but I can also see this backfiring. I've met the dad before but he wasn't overly friendly. I just don't want this to go on for years and years and feel like it's time to stop it.
I find it a little odd that the teacher just says "I didn't see it happen." If it's happening on the playground, I'm assuming there's a playground monitor, isn't there? Seems like the teacher could've said "I'll talk to the playground monitor, and ask that he/she keep an eye on both the kids." Or something to that effect.
If you're getting no where with the teacher, maybe have a conversation with the principal?
"The playground" is the classic defense for teachers
Which is fair, they aren't out there usually
It's the principal's responsibility to maintain order there usually
So escalate to the principal. The superintendent if you have to
My advice is go HARD. No more being nice. Threaten to sue, the police. Everything in writing
Don't call the parents
And don't stress your son out. The bully needs to be stopped by adults. Period
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