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It's a good point - that kids should learn to fight in a civilized constructive way.
Kids, Would You Please Start Fighting?
By Adam Grant
The skill to get hot without getting mad — to have a good argument that doesn’t become personal — is critical in life. But it’s one that few parents teach to their children. We want to give kids a stable home, so we stop siblings from quarreling and we have our own arguments behind closed doors. Yet if kids never get exposed to disagreement, we’ll end up limiting their creativity.
I didn't read the article...maybe I will later. But I often think that dealing with school/apartment yard kid drama was beneficial for me in the long run (but I wasn't heavily bullied). And I was happy when one of my kids started fighting back. My daughter would be so rude to my son (he is older) and he would just be nice back...he loves her so much. When he finally started sticking up for himself, I thought it was a good thing.
Like most parent I know, we encouraged our three to work things out on their own. Arguing was not forbidden, but hitting and insulting were. Kids do need to learn how to standup for themselves, but that can be done in a non-physical, no low blow manner.
Lots of pretty words, but no real clinical or scientific basis. Some anecdotal evidence and one or two cited studies not controlling for environmental factors. Typical parenting advice every a-hole with a professorship somehow seems to think they're qualified to spout.
Our twins fight like demons. Most siblings do. Most parents are plenty comfortable debating in front of the kids, just not about parenting (at least not if they're smart). Unified front to those little brilliant monster manipulators.
Lots of pretty words, but no real clinical or scientific basis. Some anecdotal evidence and one or two cited studies not controlling for environmental factors. Typical parenting advice every a-hole with a professorship somehow seems to think they're qualified to spout.
Our twins fight like demons. Most siblings do. Most parents are plenty comfortable debating in front of the kids, just not about parenting (at least not if they're smart). Unified front to those little brilliant monster manipulators.
Thanks for the dumb advice, Professor Obvious.
LOL. Had to rep you for this.
I didn't read the article but it seems like the author is talking about the ability to debate rather than argue/fight. A fight by definition is not civilized, it's emotionally charged and violent - either verbally or physically. That's what makes it a fight.
Kids learn from example. There's no changing that....
It'd be a useless endeavor to try and teach your kids something that you yourself don't follow.
I don't think Professor Obvious is telling us anything we haven't all known forever.
It also depends on the kids...oftentimes one is significantly more "capable" of fighting, i.e verbally more quick, more emotionally intelligent, more advanced communications skills, naturally less empathetic or at least more impulsive...
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