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Maybe she really wants to be included in the group and is willing to put in a little time/effort. That's an admirable quality that should be encouraged.
How about a little coaching for her on how to break the ice? If people don't seem to be including you, you can_______________. (I've always told my kids that complimenting someone's clothing/accessories/hair/___________, etc, makes them feel more like including you) Find ways that work with her personality/style of interaction.
Definitely see if any of the other girls in the troop are open to a playdate. In fact, if you are new to the area and still don't feel like your daughter is making friends, you are going to have to have lots of playdates, scouts or no! That is critical for developing community with other parents. You will need to model for your child just how adults go about making acquaintances. There is lots of trial and error involved when reaching out to people and discovering that you don't have much in common or their own social circle is full. Best to handle that with grace and tact.
And maybe check in with the leaders re; the activities planned. Once in a while a leader has a busy week and falls back on 'coloring'. If that trend continues, you can offer to help plan activities (which may not be well received) or find another troop. Or another activity altogether.
Definitely don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. It's important that we teach our kids to give activities an honest try, which also applies to social interactions.
Once you've given it some time, you may decide this really isn't a good fit for her, and that's okay.
Do this instead. Leave your daughter there while you run an errand. Do this several times. Wait two months and then see what she says. If the other girls aren't talking to her, perhaps put a bug in the ear of the troop leader.
But if you let your daughter quit the minute she doesn't fully love something, she'll pretty much quit everything from athletics to music to school and everything else.
By the way, the title of this thread states that your daughter doesn't like it, while the post itself says the opposite towards the end. Maybe YOU don't like it and you're projecting your feelings onto your daughter.
But if you ask her, she says she really likes it and wants to stay in it. She's 7 by the way, so what do you do?
In all honesty, I think it's kind of lame and the troop is nothing like the Brownie troop that I was in for 2 years growing up. We did really cool crafts, Xmas caroling and other community service. We joined very late in the year last right (May), bu me suggesting it. We moved out of state and into school mid year, and I "thought" this would be a way to meet other girls. Two of her classmates from last year are in the troop. She would occassionally talk to them when we first joined, but a few of the mothers seemed a little "cliquish" always referring to themselves as the "originals" since this troop started 2 years earlier. We weren't even in the school then.
Fast forward last week we had our first meeting. My daughter talked about being excited to see one of these girls at the meet. We found out 3 girls from last year dropped and 3 girls took their place all whom are "friends" with other girls in the troop. They ran in, sat the table and it was like they were always in the troop. I watched as all the other girls chatted away, and mingled, and my DD sat there quietly, at the end of the table, noone talking to her, just staring at me. I felt so bad, I sort of wanted to say, "Let's just leave." The girl who she couldn't wait to see pretty much ignored her the entire time talking to her other friend, and I would see my DD try to say a word to her every so often. Literally the hour consisted of 30 minutes of snack time, yes 30 minutes then 30 minutes of coloring. My daughter can do this in her living room with her sister. I mean, I wasn't around long enough last year to see if the whole year was run like this, but the few meets we did attend, with the exception of 1, it was ran that way.
So I asked her afterwards if she likes Brownies and said we don't have to come back if she doesn't want and she responded very quickly that she "really likes it." So do I the parent go by what she says, or her behavior? Next meeting I will be hit up for dues galore and already got fund raising to do. So rather not waste money..
What would you do?
They only way to make sure that you like how things are done is to volunteer and become a leader or co-leader yourself. Otherwise your kid and everyone else's is at the mercy of whatever volunteer is running your troop.
Seriously, if you are going to sit there anyway....step up. Make it more fun like when you were a kid. I did when my kids were young....I was both weblos and boy scout co-leader and also a brownie leader.
But, your daughter seems shy....so one thing that you'll have to do is sort of accept that.....and encourage her as much as you can....build her confidence....maybe she should join gymnastics which is individual.....it will help her build and discover her self esteem. Some kids just do not fit well, or excel in groups where they have to compete for any attention.
I remember being a very shy young child....I came out of my shell only in H.S. when people thought that I looked like Twiggy (yeah I'm old as dirt lol)....and all of a sudden I was popular....it was really strange. But, I was centered enough that it didn't go to my head...
She will come into her own.....just give her as much inner confidence as possible by continuing to be the loving caring parent that your post seems to portray.
My son is in Boy Scouts and he was started in Cub Scouts, so he has been involved since he was very young. Our original goal was very basic and it was just to put him in an environment that involves social interaction and some structure. It is not always perfect, but it has been very beneficial and he loves the camp outs! He has bonded with his fellow Scouts and has learned some personal responsibility. He feels a sense of belonging as well. I recommend sticking it out and letting her decide on her own. It won't be a static experience as she matures and you may be surprised how well she does if you let her find her way. She can develop relationships on her own, adapt, and learn to work out conflicts on her own. Might be better to stand back somewhat and let her participate and encourage and support the efforts from a global perspective.
Contact the local chapter. Most carry guidelines for groups to adhere to.
Certain things are required to keep the troop running.
From a kids perspective it's the challenge of achieving certain badges or working towards a community tasks.
While I think your daughter is capable of sticking it out it will get better...this is not the situation for it to be applied.
May I ask who's idea it was to sign her up?
Great advice. She really should contact either girl scouts of America or the state she's in. I've copied 2 of the main chapters for NJ because that's where her profile says she is. They should not be sitting there coloring; we were always doing some sort of craft and should all be doing something to get to know each other. I don't think Girl Scouts Of America would be happy to hear about these so called meetings.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Me 82
But if you ask her, she says she really likes it and wants to stay in it. She's 7 by the way, so what do you do?
In all honesty, I think it's kind of lame and the troop is nothing like the Brownie troop that I was in for 2 years growing up. We did really cool crafts, Xmas caroling and other community service. We joined very late in the year last right (May), bu me suggesting it. We moved out of state and into school mid year, and I "thought" this would be a way to meet other girls. Two of her classmates from last year are in the troop. She would occassionally talk to them when we first joined, but a few of the mothers seemed a little "cliquish" always referring to themselves as the "originals" since this troop started 2 years earlier. We weren't even in the school then.
Fast forward last week we had our first meeting. My daughter talked about being excited to see one of these girls at the meet. We found out 3 girls from last year dropped and 3 girls took their place all whom are "friends" with other girls in the troop. They ran in, sat the table and it was like they were always in the troop. I watched as all the other girls chatted away, and mingled, and my DD sat there quietly, at the end of the table, noone talking to her, just staring at me. I felt so bad, I sort of wanted to say, "Let's just leave." The girl who she couldn't wait to see pretty much ignored her the entire time talking to her other friend, and I would see my DD try to say a word to her every so often. Literally the hour consisted of 30 minutes of snack time, yes 30 minutes then 30 minutes of coloring. My daughter can do this in her living room with her sister. I mean, I wasn't around long enough last year to see if the whole year was run like this, but the few meets we did attend, with the exception of 1, it was ran that way.
So I asked her afterwards if she likes Brownies and said we don't have to come back if she doesn't want and she responded very quickly that she "really likes it." So do I the parent go by what she says, or her behavior? Next meeting I will be hit up for dues galore and already got fund raising to do. So rather not waste money..
What would you do?
Where in NJ are you located? I found a Girl Scouts of Central and Southern New Jersey or Girl Scouts of Northern New Jersey where you can contact them by e-mail, phone, or mail. Seems easy enough to do. You really should contact them because these girls are not getting the full experience of girl scouts and the leaders should be ashamed of themselves.
I did a google search girl scout meeting guidelines; there are tons of links showing what leaders should be doing. I'll paste them in below.
As for your daughter being left out; that really sucks and probably would have happened to me too because I'm not the outgoing type. You'd think if there was a new kid coming in that the leader would have the new kid say something about themselves then have the others say something back so they could get to know each other.
Agreed. My daughter joined the GS last year and her troop had a few meetings and went on one trip and that was it....just felt used to sell cookies. We had to purchase or sell all the extra boxes they ordered as well.
im sorry but I would have told them where they could shove those extra boxes of cookies . Not my circus , not my monkeys . I hate these gs troops that allow certain type such as aka the originals to run the troop . Just because they drive the Mercedes does not mean you allow them into your lane . I would have nipped that crap in the bud . I hope you kids quit that nonsense .
Try 4-H. Even if you live in the city, you can find a club that would interest your daughter (and if there is not, start your own club). My kids were into rabbits and rockets (and no, we did not launch any rabbits).
Kids exploited to sell cookies and popcorn is what it boils down to.
Not true, but that can be annoying.
My daughter's troop is run by a very involved mother and has a handful of mothers and fathers involved at various points during the year. They have movie nights and overnights at family homes, game nights, bike rides, meetups at parks and the local pet shelter (they are able to walk dogs and play with cats, read to all (dogs, cats, rodents and rabbits) all supervised and safe and helps the shelter) in addition to the formal GS stuff.
Through it all, there is a lot of time and opportunities to just talk and share. With each other and with adults who are interested in their lives. That exposure and interaction is important, IMO.
As for the cookie sales, yeah, that can be a pain IF the troop leader allows it to be a pain. The troop leader gets a lot of pressure to push the cookie sales. But a good troop leader does not pressure the kids.
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since this troop started 2 years earlier. We weren't even in the school then. 
