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We had twins. They took turns waking up and crying at night. We moved them to our room so it would be easier to get to them. That lasted one night. My wife went to he pediatrician (who had 7 kids) and asked for advice. Pediatrician said: "Babies cry Mrs. Jensen, get over it"
Her point was let them cry, that is what they do. They will eventually go back to sleep. You are doing them more harm by given them completely exhausted unhealthy parents than you could ever do them any good by getting up all the time and reinforcing the crying behavior.
She explained they would eventually grow out of crying and switch to whining. You need to ignore that too.
Every baby is different...so there's that. But to relate co-sleeping or even letting a baby cry for awhile to secondhand smoke is ridiculous.
I also think there's a prevailing mentality in some corners of the parenting world that says, "What's best for the baby, no matter what." That's dangerous. The reason its dangerous is that it fails to weigh the negative effects on the parents, and balance them with the negative effects on the baby.
In My Opinion, what is perceived as best for the baby sometimes isn't. Not every cry means a parent has to respond by picking up, soothing... Sometimes an overtired cry can mean leave me the <bleep> alone while I lose my mind before falling asleep. Lord, I have done it myself and I am not a baby!
Last edited by Miss Blue; 01-30-2019 at 06:16 PM..
We had twins. They took turns waking up and crying at night. We moved them to our room so it would be easier to get to them. That lasted one night. My wife went to he pediatrician (who had 7 kids) and asked for advice. Pediatrician said: "Babies cry Mrs. Jensen, get over it"
Her point was let them cry, that is what they do. They will eventually go back to sleep. You are doing them more harm by given them completely exhausted unhealthy parents than you could ever do them any good by getting up all the time and reinforcing the crying behavior.
She explained they would eventually grow out of crying and switch to whining. You need to ignore that too.
With my son, my responding too much to his crying, I was actually depriving HIM of sleep.
In My Opinion, what is perceived as best for the baby sometimes isn't. Not every cry means a parent has to respond by picking up, soothing... Sometimes an overtired cry can mean leave me the F alone while I lose my mind before falling asleep. Lord, I have done it myself and I am not a baby!
Yes! When our babies got all overtired and agitated they would start screaming. Holding, joggling, walking, shushing, etc., just seemed to make them scream more. Put them down in a quiet room and walk away and within 2 minutes, they were sound asleep. Over time we learned to read the cues that they were ready for a nap before they were completely exhausted. But if we'd never been willing to set them down while crying, good Lord, I don't know if I would have made it.
My first was colicky and didn't sleep through the night till he was almost 10. He was always coming in our bed every single night. In his case co-sleeping probably would have given us all a lot more sleep. My second slept through the night at 6 weeks old. They both stayed in our bedroom the first few weeks in a bassinet. I also can't imagine co-sleeping is healthy on the marriage and sex life.
My younger son had an acquaintance who rolled over in her sleep and suffocated her firstborn. She's lived with a lot of guilt ever since.
Co-sleeping is not healthy for anyone and is quite dangerous! It's one thing having the child in the same room, but actual co-sleeping is dangerous period! As other have said, it also brings on extreme attachment by the child. My friend did co-sleeping and their child wouldn't go near anyone else and at the age of 7 still won't sleep in their own bed. That is not a good thing!
Have never done this but have heard it is a marriage killer. The husband who usually has to go to work every day, can't get any sleep unless he sleeps elsewhere. Also seems to be a hard habit to break.
Oh, how sad for the husband. What about all of the wives who also have to work fulltime and still lose countless hours of sleep every night tending to their children even in non-cosleeping situations?
Oh, how sad for the husband. What about all of the wives who also have to work fulltime and still lose countless hours of sleep every night tending to their children even in non-cosleeping situations?
What about them? The fact remains that there is less room in the bed, more apprehension about getting up and moving, less private time between the couple.
Its the husband that (in the theoretical case you quoted) decides that its more important that he tends to his own needs and his wife that puts her marriage and husband second for reasons that the husband is probably not on board with (namely that the baby needs to sleep in a crib/bassinet/whatever.) Both the husband and the wife have a duty to the family and the marriage that remains after the baby. I've seen more than one couple that's deteriorated because the marriage ceases to be a priority and children are elevated to a saint-like importance.
Can someone explain co-sleeping to me? I have a friend who is CONSTANTLY complaining that she can't sleep at night because her 18-month-old keeps doing this, that, and the other thing to keep her awake or wake her up; I think the husband sleeps elsewhere. Whatever happened to putting a baby to bed for the night (with feedings) in its own crib in its own room at birth or certainly by this age? Seems crazy to me!
Also not great for the marriage.
It's a good indicator of a future helicopter parent.
My sister-in-law and her husband did this with their youngest and he is STILL sleeping with them at age 11.
We put our kids in the crib in a separate room as newborns. Otherwise we would have never gotten any sleep.
You know I never really thought about this, but when I was a child there were my mother and father and one sister and me. it was a two bedroom house one room very small. Both my sister, [seven years older than me] and my mother slept in one full size bed and my father slept in the small room until my sister moved out when I was about 11 at which point I moved into the small room.
I do remember that when I was a baby I was in a crib, an Iron one in the same room of course. then moved to the above arrangement, it never seems odd to me, just the way it was. I never became overly clingy to my parents.
So I guess we were co-sleepers though I didn't know that then.
It's a good indicator of a future helicopter parent.
My sister-in-law and her husband did this with their youngest and he is STILL sleeping with them at age 11.
We put our kids in the crib in a separate room as newborns. Otherwise we would have never gotten any sleep.
I think it really depends on the child. I think in some kids they never learn to self soothe. I have a friend that co-slept with both of her kids and neither one of them are good sleepers at 5 and 10. They both had and still have some health issues. Not sure if those contribute but it is what is. She thought she was doing what was best at the time.
My son has the one of the same issues her son does and it does cause them to be up later and have a hard time shutting of the brain. We just handled it in different ways. When my son was around 3, he went to sleep on the couch downstairs with us every night. It was the only way we could get him to not get out of bed at bedtime. My husband would carry him upstairs after he was asleep every night. He would get up at different times in the night. 3 was hard age because of that. Now he's 11 and he goes to bed at his bedtime without issue. He doesn't have to go to sleep but he does need to go upstairs and start unwinding.
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