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My 5 year old son still struggles with staying dry at night. Everything I’ve read and talking to our pediatrician says this is very common. I still put him in a diaper at night. The issue I have is my mom is so upset he is still in a diaper. She thinks he is just being lazy and that he should have to clean up his wet sheets and loose privileges as a punishment. She keeps nagging at me about it. Please tell me I’m not alone in this. Are there any other parents who’s kids still have trouble staying dry at night , what age did you stop diapering them and just let them wet there bedding?
My older son was still wetting the bed some nights up to about age 10. ( he didn’t wear a diaper at night after age 4) He eventually gained overnight control. Everyone gains control eventually. Your mom is absolutely wrong in her recommendations. Don’t shame him or punish. He feels bad enough already. He’ll be able to stay dry when his body is ready. Have you asked the pediatrician for suggestions?
Tell your mom to butt out and that you and your pediatrician are working on it.
If you want to tell her diplomatically, just say something like, "Mom, I know you love Johnny, but I disagree with you on the bedwetting issue. I want to ask that you trust me that I am handling this with advice from our pediatrician."
If she continues to harp, just tell her you've already addressed that subject with her. Then change the subject, and don't bring up bedwetting anymore.
My daughter had/has sleep apnea and we always had a lot of bed wetting after she would have corrective surgery and finally start getting really good quality sleep. We may be looking at surgery again and I won't be surprised if the bed wetting briefly returns post surgery even though she's in high school now.
It caught us really off guard after the first surgery because she was 3.5 y.o., never had wet the bed before and had given up all diapers, even night time ones shortly after she turned 2. She outgrew it around age 10, but did really regress after another surgery in elementary school. We used rubber sheets under the regular one, limited fluid in take at night and would usually around 1 a.m. wake her up for a bathroom break until she was able to hold it through the night or wake up on her own. If she had an accident, all we asked of her was to let us know so we could run a load of laundry. We'd stress that it was tied to deep sleep and deep sleep is a good thing.
I think your mom should butt out of it, but I think 5 is a little old to still be wearing diapers.
Thank you for the reply’s. My mom and I have always been very close but she has also always been very in charge. It’s hard for me to buck her but I know I must for my sons sake. I have looked into pull ups that would be more age appropriate, but they are quite a bit more than diapers and imo the same thing. Plus my 3 year old is still a chunky monkey and my 5 year old super slim so they fit in the same size diapers I already have for him and buy in bulk. I appreciate the advice as to what to say. She watches the boys often for me and I’m afraid she is going to just stop putting him in them before bed and causing an issue.
Wildflower said she woke daughter up to go once during the night. I had forgotten that the pediatrician suggested that and sometimes it helped. Of course that means that a parent needs to get up and do that, without complaining to the child of course. Remain matter-of-fact about it; nothing to be ashamed of. I’ll bet way more kids have this issue than we know.
The fact that your mom watches the boys makes it much more difficult to extract her from the process here. A paid babysitter wouldn’t bring the same conflicts.
I understand the diapers are convenient for YOU, but you need to understand the psychological effects that wearing a diaper will have when your son gets to kindergarten.
What if You tell your mom you’ll go to Pull Ups if she pays for them?
I personally think you should just ditch the diapers once and for all for the 5 year old and hopefully you've started with the 3 year old. If he's staying dry during the day, that means that he has the mechanics down pat, he just is having issues with nighttime control. IMHO, having actual diapers on during the night is sending mixed messages to him. Pullups are similar to diapers but if utilized properly they can be helpful in training, at least from my experience and they make nighttime pullups for that problem.
My first was trained by the babysitter at 2.5 years old. She could tell that my daughter was, in fact, being lazy. She had the time to sit her on the potty many times over the course of the hour throughout the day. My youngest, however, was trained by us and it was it was challenging because it was totally her and not a physical issue. The proof is that when we went on vacation with our friend and she saw that her daughter (similar in age) wasn't wearing diapers, she no longer had accidents. Literally she stopped. Once we made the resolve (at the right time) to stop using diapers, we stopped. Period. Diapers are really a matter of convenience - we don't want wet floors, sheets, etc., but that's a part of the process. My floors have been peed on, pooped on, etc. by humans and animals.
Tehre are disposable pads, etc. for bedwetting.
It's not easy but you have to just keep at it. Good luck
By "diapers", I was thinking the OP was referring to pull ups for her 5 y.o. I think he is really too old to be wearing traditional diapers and agree with others that it sends a mixed message and could have possible psychological effects. Definitely switch over to pull ups, they make generic ones now, which will save some money.
There's a decent chance that the bed wetting may continued for several if not 5 more years, so the night time training needs to start. If he wakes up and needs to go to the bathroom, he needs as few obstacles as possible and a diaper is a really big obstacle. Even if he successfully gets it off and goes potty, then what is he suppose to do? A pull up will make all of that easier and keep him & his bedding dry if he sleeps through it rather than waking up.
We started using pull ups at bedtime for my daughter after her first surgery and weaned her off of them over the next few months. She was self conscious about it even though it was normal for preschoolers to wear them to bed. Also generic brands didn't exist back then and money was a little tight, so just using more old fashion approaches (late night bathroom trip & special bedding) made more sense for us.
If the grandmother is putting the kid to bed, how this will be handled needs to be addressed in a manner where the kid won't be shamed.
First, there are many medical issues for bedwetting and you need to rule them out. Your child's doctor might recommend a bladder sonogram.
Second, no fluids two hours before bed. Third, go to the bathroom twice before bedtime. In some children, the bladder doesn't release completely on the first trip so a second trip five minutes later helps. Fourth, set an alarm clock between 12 midnight and 1 am for a bathroom trip.
As your child grows, so will your child's bladder and this will be a non issue. Sometimes it is a sleep issue where the child sleeps so soundly, they don't wake up when they need to pee.
Your mother - on this issue - is a witch. She is so wrong.
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