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Thank you. Yes these teens cannot see any other way except social media "friends". That at its core it's a rejection issue is great insight. I will attack it from that angle and assist with self esteem building.
I'm not a social media fan but I have noticed a few things:
1. Most huge social media fans have a better "online life" than actual life. You can really be who you want online but in reality you could be just sitting on your mom's couch at 25 doing nothing.
2. I have noticed many people are friend collectors. 800-1000 friends on facebook yet in real life they don't know many people. I went to a high school reunion and got facebook friend requests from 3 girls that saw me there yet didn't say a single word to me in person? I declined their requests.
3. Want a test of true friends? On facebook I put my birthday as Halloween (its not). 30-40 people wish me a happy birthday and real friends text and say "dude your birthday isn't Halloween!"
I'm not a teen but I've seen how social media can make or break a kid fast.
Does anyone have any good insight or resources to help teens coping with the anxiety and depression when social media friends delete, cancel, or give the silent treatment?
Of course, the best course of action/inaction is to stay off of social media. That's not going to happen with many teens. It's hurtful to have an argument with a "friend" and then discover that you've been unfriended/unfollowed. I'm just needing some feedback and insight to help teens gain a healthy perspective on this type of behavior.
I appreciate any responses.
Yeah, get off and stay off social media! There is NO "healthy perspective" to social media! Period!
That, or grow a set and live with it. After all, THAT'S LIFE!
Let them know it's real easy to friend/unfriend, follow/unfollow online and that doesn't represent real life. It's also usually temporary, a kneejerk reaction to a tiff of some sort. Usually it resolves itself.
And since I know it's near impossible to keep anyone off SM these days their best bet is to just use it in specific ways. Don't conduct serious conversations online and don't fall into the trap of jumping on someone just because another friend has a problem with them at that moment (again, temporary!). My kids are older and the first gen to jump online this way, back in the days of AIM. Now they rarely use it at all because of the lessons they learned and the crap they endued when they centered Social Media instead of real life.
Let them know it's real easy to friend/unfriend, follow/unfollow online and that doesn't represent real life. It's also usually temporary, a kneejerk reaction to a tiff of some sort. Usually it resolves itself.
And since I know it's near impossible to keep anyone off SM these days their best bet is to just use it in specific ways. Don't conduct serious conversations online and don't fall into the trap of jumping on someone just because another friend has a problem with them at that moment (again, temporary!). My kids are older and the first gen to jump online this way, back in the days of AIM. Now they rarely use it at all because of the lessons they learned and the crap they endued when they centered Social Media instead of real life.
I like this advice. She needs to make it work for her. I don’t think she can avoid it all together at this point. It’s just too integrated into most aspects of a younger persons life. Music, fashion, education, books, cooking, personal care, you name it. Hard to be on top of what’s going on if your not on social media.
My question isn't regarding any particular situation. I'm asking for insight/suggestions on how to help teens navigate the angst that comes with social media aggression.
Blocking or unfriending someone is not aggression.
It's often self preservation and protection.
I have blocked people on social media and it's my right to do so. I offer zero apologies for that to anyone. If it bothers them, then perhaps they should examine their behavior that led to me blocking them.
To be frank, most of the people who complain about getting blocked all the time seem to have serious personal issues or possibility a personality disorder. I've never been blocked by anyone.
I understand your point. However, I think young people need to understand the line between real, in person, in your life friends and just virtual online friends. It is dangerous for our society and our children's future if they can't separate the two and develop emotional maturity around what is REAL.
This. There is already a syndrome of people in society giving money to strangers on the internet, whom they believe are their "friends" or "lovers" even though they've never met them in person. Millions and millions of dollars a year are given away to anonymous "friends/boyfriends/girlfriends" on the internet.
3. Want a test of true friends? On facebook I put my birthday as Halloween (its not). 30-40 people wish me a happy birthday and real friends text and say "dude your birthday isn't Halloween!"
Man I have a hard enough time remembering my wife and kids birthday lol.
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