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It seems like my two (4th & 6th grade) girls are constantly fighting/arguing with eachother lately. I've taken away their favorite toys, talked and talked about being nice and "What kind of person do you want to be?" ect, ect.
I would start with giving them each their own space. The older one is in the stage where she is starting to establish her own idenenty. Can you divide their room with a curtain or some other barrier?
I would start with giving them each their own space. The older one is in the stage where she is starting to establish her own idenenty. Can you divide their room with a curtain or some other barrier?
I was actually going to suggest just the opposite. It seems to me that they don't spend enough time doing things they both enjoy doing together. My sister and I are 4 years apart and we shared a room (and hated it) too. In hind sight, I think the reason we never got along is because we never had any common interests or activities. We weren't expected to play together or be friends because we were both in school all day long. My girls are 2 1/2 years apart (10 and nearly 8)and they are best friends. We offered them their own rooms and they decided they would rather share. They want to spend time together because we have always taught them that there is no one more important in their lives than each other. That's what has worked for us. Good luck.
Are they actually "fighting" or just bickering? I think 2 kids this age, the same sex are going to bicker. Girls especially, without their own space maybe even more so (although I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing). I only think you need to worry if they are being cruel or inappropriately physical. Let them work it out - they will probably end up being closer for it. If you intervene, they will see it as taking sides (and usually, the mom takes the side of the younger sibling). Talk to them about not name calling and other things but let them deal with it.
What are they fighting about? I agree that some bickering/arguing is normal, but if it's affecting other people in the family or becoming excessive, then it needs to stop.
I have found that making kids spend a lot of time together seems to make them fight more at first, but then they figure out a way to get along and have a better relationship for it. Maybe if they're unable to get along with their family members, you have to assume that they need to practice nice behavior. I bet a few parent-imposed friendless weeks (after school/weekends) will help them in their quest. Practice makes perfect, you know.
Physical punishment. Stop trying to be their friend. Stop being lazy.
oh ugh... why is she being lazy?? my gosh! she is looking for advice and someone suggests physical punishment-for fighting?? I mean it doesn't sound as though the kids are being harmful to eachother. Physical punishment I would say,would be the last resort for something like this...
Just my opinion however.
I wish I had some other helpful advice,but surely,that can't be it.
My children also fight-constantly! one is 3 the other is 6. I know that my 6 yr old is starting to probably feel a little "smothered" by her younger sibling, partly because we are new to our area,we don't know anyone and they are spending waaaayyyy to much time together.
ALthough my oldest is in school all day, she is home early in the afternoon (by 2:30pm) and it still creates for a fairly long afternoon together.
I have never been a huge fan of having toys in their bedrooms, books and little things okay,but just not a fan of making the bedrooms another play area.
I have changed my mind,their rooms are a little larger now and they can have some more things in there. We have started giving them a time where they play seperately from eachother, in their rooms.
On some days,it works,others,not so much. The younger one wants to be with her older sibling all of the time, but when they are together, they fight. UGH.
keep them in a same room. sharing a room is not the problem.
make them do things together. have them join a sports team. if they dont like it, then tell them they need to get along or else.
set up rules. some rules they should be very well aware of from the age of two.
keep your hands to yourself.
no screaming.
no crying.
NO HITTING with objects of any kind.
if they continue to fight and fuss then tell them you will find ways to keep them very busy. extra school assignments. scrubbing toilets. washing dishes. (ok, most of these should not be punishments, but i have come to find out that a lot of parents dont have their kids do chores.)
keep them busy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by treeg26
It seems like my two (4th & 6th grade) girls are constantly fighting/arguing with eachother lately. I've taken away their favorite toys, talked and talked about being nice and "What kind of person do you want to be?" ect, ect.
I have no experience with girls, but with boys, they eventually get over it. They may be in their twenties before they do, but eventually they stop. It's part of growing up for many.
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