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I have an 11 yr old daughter that will be 12 in March. She's currently in 6th gradeand has asked us when she can date. Her father told her not now and we will discuss when she can at a later date. She was fine with that as she really doesn't like anyone but asked because some of her friends now have boyfriends. One being her best friend. We asked her what it is they do exactly and she said basically just hang out just like regular friends. Play video games, talk about school stuff etc. I asked if they were physical and she said "GOD NO MOM we're only in 6th grd" That was a relief,but the fact that kids are already dating this young is quite scary! I also asked her if her BFF's mom knows that she is dating and she said yes that it's supervised; however, I'm not so sure about that!
I think it's more of curiosity of the opposite sex right now. Girls are developing and they have now learned about the birds &the bee's. At any rate, I keep open communication with my daughter and she loves to tell me all about her friends and what they do, etc. She knows that she can come to me with anything and not feel scared or embarrassed. As a parent, that is very important.
As far as dating goes, well it will depend on her maturity level,but as of right now I told her she can of course have friends that are boys, but a "boyfriend" is not necessary right now. She's fine with that!
When our girls were in 9th grade they had a friend who announced that he was engaged. i promptly dubbed him doofus. We still know him 12 years later and his name is still Doofus.
No - they did not get married. In fact I think it lasted about a week. Little kids like to play grown up games.
[quote=CGab;50939238]*I did not read through this entire thread!!
I have an 11 yr old daughter that will be 12 in March. She's currently in 6th gradeand has asked us when she can date. /QUOTE]
Our rules were: 14 - 16 group dating only. 16 - 18 dating was permitted, but the guy had to come ask for my permission to date one of our girls. Few guys had the guts.
School dances were ok freshman year up but again he had to come ask.
Most of the guys who did come and ask me turned out to be really good kids. Very respectful of them and me.
Funny thing is later, when the girls were in college if a guy asked them out that would say I am interested in a date, but you have to come ask my dad.
The only time one of them did not do that (the guy refused), the guy turned out to be a cad of some sort. Whatever he did, no one would tell me because they were afraid I woudl end up in jail. Later he declared he was gay or trans or something, but that may have been a ploy. -See? trust dad. make them ask. Keep the cads away.
I have an 11 yr old daughter that will be 12 in March. She's currently in 6th gradeand has asked us when she can date. Her father told her not now and we will discuss when she can at a later date. She was fine with that as she really doesn't like anyone but asked because some of her friends now have boyfriends. One being her best friend. We asked her what it is they do exactly and she said basically just hang out just like regular friends. Play video games, talk about school stuff etc. I asked if they were physical and she said "GOD NO MOM we're only in 6th grd" That was a relief,but the fact that kids are already dating this young is quite scary! I also asked her if her BFF's mom knows that she is dating and she said yes that it's supervised; however, I'm not so sure about that!
I think it's more of curiosity of the opposite sex right now. Girls are developing and they have now learned about the birds &the bee's. At any rate, I keep open communication with my daughter and she loves to tell me all about her friends and what they do, etc. She knows that she can come to me with anything and not feel scared or embarrassed. As a parent, that is very important.
As far as dating goes, well it will depend on her maturity level,but as of right now I told her she can of course have friends that are boys, but a "boyfriend" is not necessary right now. She's fine with that!
The bff and her bf probably kiss, but she probably does not consider that physical.
Physical usually assumes something that would not be appropriate in a public place.
When our girls were in 9th grade they had a friend who announced that he was engaged. i promptly dubbed him doofus. We still know him 12 years later and his name is still Doofus.
No - they did not get married. In fact I think it lasted about a week. Little kids like to play grown up games.
Why would you call him doofus?
There are high school sweethearts who do marry.
I'd argue if you can hold a high school relationship together more than a year, that's a pretty strong sign the relationship is real and special.
I have an 11 yr old daughter that will be 12 in March. She's currently in 6th gradeand has asked us when she can date. /QUOTE]
Our rules were: 14 - 16 group dating only. 16 - 18 dating was permitted, but the guy had to come ask for my permission to date one of our girls. Few guys had the guts.
School dances were ok freshman year up but again he had to come ask.
Most of the guys who did come and ask me turned out to be really good kids. Very respectful of them and me.
Funny thing is later, when the girls were in college if a guy asked them out that would say I am interested in a date, but you have to come ask my dad.
The only time one of them did not do that (the guy refused), the guy turned out to be a cad of some sort. Whatever he did, no one would tell me because they were afraid I woudl end up in jail. Later he declared he was gay or trans or something, but that may have been a ploy. -See? trust dad. make them ask. Keep the cads away.
Those rules are silly because unless you are going to spy on them, how are you going to enforce the group dating?
For making the guy go ask for your permission, the guys who you don't want dating your daughters are the ones who are going to be willing to ask because they never think through anything.
The guy who is obsessed with your daughter and would treat her great would probably get too embarrassed to do it.
I am going through this right now my 5th grade daughter has been dating several different boys..... we have had several talks about relationships and questions with answers and they had the sex ed video at school and all of that. My husband shows extra affection and one night a week we have family game night with board games and everyone involved. We tell her she's not allowed a boyfriend. At first we didnt really push it too much knowing it was harmless BUT then she has a cell phone since she walks to and from the bus stop with 2 friends from school so for emergency we got her one. Then the boys and girls at school also have them they all exchanged numbers and again we didnt really push it too much but once a week I would go through her phone and monitor everything to make sure she was being safe. Then I seen this conversation between her and her so called BF and they saying stuff like "I love you" "baby".....um NO! I also found a chatroom convo between all her friends and her and the BF where he was being really mean and inappropriate to her friends saying very boulger things....so wr took the phone. Now shes only allowed to use it for family and emergencies. Shes not allowed any BF. We had no choice to put our foot down shes too young and the things they are saying they have no clue about! I hope I'm doing the right thing here because the last thing I want to do is push her away. She didnt seem to upset, and shes good now after a week of not being able to talk with her BF, or friends on the phone. Again we just hope we r doing the right thing. I even contacted the principal to inform him of what was being said between these kids who are now all seeing the counselor to ensure everything is good at home with the other kids and the first thing he suggested was to monitor the phone.
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