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I'm not disagreeing that obnoxious behavior shouldn't be dealt with and that there's a time and place for everything, I'm just saying that some of these comments are saying that the reason kids are screaming is b/c of poor parenting. I don't think that's true. Furthermore, I think screaming kids are the exception and it doesn't happen terribly frequently that all kids should get a bad rap.
Children seen and not heard? Do you have kids? Maybe I'm taking this too literally, not sure of your intent, but that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. To earn respect from my children, I have to give them respect. That's a completely disrespectful sentiment to all children. They are people, just like you and me. There are plenty of adults that I don't want to hear, but I respect them enough to exercise their freedom to say what they'd like.
Kids that continue to scream do have poor parenting. There is no reason why children need to disrupt an entire resturant or neighborhood.
Now, I have also been that mom with a 4 & 2 year whose 2 year old is having a tantrum in a "kid friendly " resturant or the middle of the library. It's tough being THAT mom. But tantrums are for your room... not a public place. So I've been THAT mom who has a 2 year old under one arm screaming like the dickings and the 4 year old crying because he did not get to play at the playland even though he ate all his chicken & fruit like I told him too. So, now that my kids are older, I always try to help those moms, because I've been there and it's not fun. And believe me a glare does NOTHING to the clueless parent and is not helpful at all to the parent trying to just safely get their screamer to the car.
OMG This is so true! I remember two years ago when my kid were three and four and I was trying to get my grocery shopping done and I was almost done.... THEN it happend... the tantrum of all tantrums. I had a cart full of food and the screamer of all screamers.... I needed to check out and the other one was asking questions... People were giving me such nasty looks! I had a headache like you wouldn't believe that day... I remember this day like YESTERDAY!!!! I actually finished the last two aisles, had tears running down my own cheeks, checked out.... and made it home in ONE PC! But I do not look at ANYONE or judge ANYONE at a store or anywhere when their kids are acting like that. My daughter started hers out of the clear blue for NO reason... NONE.... just she was tired and needed to go home.... that was it. Kids are Kids... and that is that. Was that a normal day for me??? No, why do you think I remember it so well? But it was one heck of a day... that is for sure..... it isn't always about bad parenting.... sometimes it is just about the kids....
Kids outside playing in normal outside voices with occasional extra loud laughter or even screams is totally different than kids whose sense of "normal" is a constant, piercingly shrill scream. I have kids, live in a neighborhood with lots of kids of various ages and I really don't notice normal loud kid behavior; however, there is one family whose kids seem to only have 2 "speeds" sullen or screaming. Their parents don't really seem to notice. Drives me insane.
I am with you all the way on the resturant and public place issue. As for while you are in your yard, I think it is totally up to where you live. I've seen subdivisions teeming with little ones with tons of plastic yard art so yes, I'd imagine places like that you would hear kids screaming. Then there are places like where I live where you can hear nothing but birds. No I'm not out in the middle of the woods or way out in BFV either.
Moral of the story. When looking for a house look around you. It's not hard to pick out a neighborhood that is probably going to contain families with little kids from those that don't.
.....are not necessarily the same thing, which has already been explained/discussed/etc in earlier posts on this thread.
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And I also CAN'T STAND when people who don't have kids criticize parents for one thing or another.
Quite frankly that pales in comparison to how much I hate it when parents think that someone w/o kids automatically knows little or nothing about it or their opinion automatically carries less weight or legitimacy than someone w/kids. Experience does not equate to knowledge or expertise or even a clue.
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And on a side note, I was in the Lego store at Crabtree today when all of the sudden my almost 2 year old lets out a huge scream out of the blue. I think something scared him. Totally unexpected and I couldn't help but think of this thread. Surely I'm not a bad parent b/c my toddler chose that particular moment to use his voice.
Of course not.
Now if he'd KEPT on screaming his head off and you'd just continued on your merry way w/o addressing it.........
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And people should not be forced to stay inside their homes with their children
If they are incapable and/or unwilling to teach their children to behave in public, yes, they sure as heck should. I LOVE that idea. House arrest! We'll let you out when the little brats are no longer brats.
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I think people need to be more tolerant all around
Sorry but I think that's one of the most horrifically bad ideas I have ever heard, as a HUGE problem with our society in general is that we are already far far FAR too "tolerant," esp being tolerant of obnoxious behavior.
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and not stereotype every parent of a loud child as having poor parenting skills.
I'm not disagreeing that obnoxious behavior shouldn't be dealt with and that there's a time and place for everything, I'm just saying that some of these comments are saying that the reason kids are screaming is b/c of poor parenting. I don't think that's true.
Think again. There are exceptions, but on the whole, it is absolutely true.
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Furthermore, I think screaming kids are the exception
I agree. But it only takes one bad apple, etc.
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Children seen and not heard? Do you have kids? Maybe I'm taking this too literally, not sure of your intent, but that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. To earn respect from my children, I have to give them respect.
No not really, but regardless.......yknow what kids really respect? A firm hand, and having boundaries set AND enforced. Yknow what they have absolutely no respect for? A parent who they can walk all over.
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They are people, just like you and me.
They are not like you and me in many, many ways. We are adults. They are childen.
OMG This is so true! I remember two years ago when my kid were three and four and I was trying to get my grocery shopping done and I was almost done.... THEN it happend... the tantrum of all tantrums. I had a cart full of food and the screamer of all screamers.... I needed to check out and the other one was asking questions... People were giving me such nasty looks! I had a headache like you wouldn't believe that day... I remember this day like YESTERDAY!!!! I actually finished the last two aisles, had tears running down my own cheeks, checked out.... and made it home in ONE PC! But I do not look at ANYONE or judge ANYONE at a store or anywhere when their kids are acting like that. My daughter started hers out of the clear blue for NO reason... NONE.... just she was tired and needed to go home.... that was it. Kids are Kids... and that is that. Was that a normal day for me??? No, why do you think I remember it so well? But it was one heck of a day... that is for sure..... it isn't always about bad parenting.... sometimes it is just about the kids....
I agree. No kids are perfect all of the time. My son had the mother of all tantrums in the grocery store and I ended up in tears because of some jerk that made a nasty remark. An old lady stuck up for me and told him that his tantrums were probably worse.
Unless someone has personal knowledge of something that's going on, people really shouldn't cast stones. My son has a sensory disorder and sometimes too much stimulation really bothers him and he'll throw a fit over it. It may happen in the mall or the grocery store (thankfully getting better with age and OT.) We shouldn't have to stay home because we might offend someone.
There are crappy parents out there that don't control their kids, and I think they drive everyone crazy. It's not fair that I get judged as a bad parent and my son a bad seed because of a bad experience.
And....to all of the parents with the perfect kids that ALWAYS have good behavior...count your blessings. Some of us work hard as parents and our kids aren't perfect.
Joey2000 - In many case experience DOES equate to knowledge or expertise or even a clue. How can you know what it's like until you walked in their shoes...you know had that experience? How do you know how it feels to have a sick child that's been up for 3 days and nights..your husband's out of town, and your a mess...Have to go the the pharmacy for meds and grocery store for food with a sick, screaming kid, while you're feeling like crap, only to have some jerk give you the stink eye because you're kids is throwing a fit. I bet another mother could empathize.
Mine have done the "bloody murder" screaming outside. We immediately called them in, explained that if they scream like that when playing, then when someone REALLY needs help, no one will respond. We told them the story of the boy who cried Wolf. Then they had to stay in for the day.
It's happened probably 3x in the past 9 years. So, I'm a horrible parent, right?
But my kids have NEVER thrown a tantrum in a public place.
I know exactly what it is to have 2 sick kids (think projectile vomiting, fevers of 103+) and myself, dh on deployment and all 3 of us sick for 9 weeks, on and off. Both kids sleeping alternate hours (one nighttime, one daytime) and hundreds of miles away from anyone I knew well. The only other military wife I had known for more than 2 months had 2 young kids herself and couldn't expose them to our virus. It was HE-LL! My memories of those 9 weeks (and the 3-4 weeks after while dh was still gone) are very hazy. On the plus side, I lost over 35 pounds during that time without even trying.
I wouldn't trust ANY parent who claims their children are without fault... Jeffrey Dahmer's mother (for example) thought her son was ALWAYS so well behaved, quiet, kept to himself, studied hard...
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and not stereotype every parent of a loud child as having poor parenting skills.
? I haven't seen anyone do that.
And I wonder: how can someone be so mindless, thoughtless and generally inept as parents - and people - as to consider this kind of behavior acceptable?
You said it in your opening post.
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