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Call me a prude but I can't help thinking of the emotinal damage promiscous (and I include eterosexual sex) experimenting can cause to young people.
The fact that physically they are ready to have sexual relationships does not mean they are emotionally and psichologically ready and even more so if the occasion may lead to do things they may regret later on (group sex, etc.).
I am not naive, I was a teenager once and I know that it is inevitable for teenagers and young adults to want to explore their sexuality but I still think that it is better if they do it in the context of a relationship where caring for each other is the centre and not just using each other for self satisfaction.
Now you and your son are the only ones who know where he is in his development and whether he is ready to face a "tricky" situation such as the one described by you in the OP and able to step away from it should he want it.
Raging hormones. Boy, boy.
Boy, girl.
Girl, girl
Doesn't matter.
Probably better to let him go than try to keep them apart.
They will find ways to be together even if in secrecy.
Maybe the other boys parents will have some control over the situation.
No matter what the sexual orientation, you can't stop the eventual end result.
This is the problem with parenting these days. The ones saying "well they're going to do it anyways"... To me while they are living under YOUR roof, they need to abide by YOUR rules. Once they're out at 18 or whenever thereafter then of course you let them do whatver. But if they are still living under your roof and you're putting food on the table for them then they need to respect your rules. Not many parents instill this in their kids anymore and its a problem that glaringly shows with the lack of disciplined kids these days....and parents lets them off the hook at earlier and earlier ages now.
Also I'd be reacting the same way if it was my daughter or son wanting to stay over his/her boyfriend/girlfriends house. Being gay has nothing to do with the situation here...and gays want to be treated equally, this is equal treatment. I have nothing against gays and this is me treating them like I would a heterosexual son/daughter.
You did say he was 17, right? When I turned 18, I had already been in a college dorm for three months, a thousand miles from mommy's protective bosom, making all my own social and relationship decisions. I was greener than most kids, and in those days, that was a lot more naive than it is now.
What, excactly, do you think is going to happen to him that he won't be able to cope with?
Recently my gay 17 year old asked me if he could spend the night at his friends house. I know that the other boy is gay but my son tells me they are just friends and two other boys (also gay) will be there as well. I just don't know how I feel about this any advice?
Newsflash...if he's 17 it's almost a certainty that he's having sex already. Yeah, he's still technically a minor, but he's not going to do anything at a sleepover that he isn't doing already, and at 17 he's old enough to make his own decisions about sex.
If you've never had the safe sex talk with him yet, sit him down and do it asap. Arm him with knowledge and information, and then tell him that you trust him to use his head when contemplating having sex. Let him know the emotional pitfalls involved in such, then hug and kiss him and let him go. On that note, I think it's absolutely TERRIFIC that he felt comfortable enough with you to come out to you, and it sounds like you accept him as he is. That is so good, and I can't compliment you enough on that.
A supportive parent who provides their child with the proper education and information regarding sex is a parent who is far less likely to have their child fall victim to unwanted pregnancies (yeah I know he's gay, I'm speaking in general terms) or to have that child end up with a sexually transmitted disease.
This is the problem with parenting these days. The ones saying "well they're going to do it anyways"...
Exactly.
A 3 year old, left alone in a room with a screwdriver and a live electrical socket will probably experiment. That doesn't mean you hand the 3 year old a screwdriver, leave them alone in a room and then try to excuse your poor parenting skills by saying that he WANTED to do it and suing the manufacturer of the screwdriver.
Parenting is about teaching and leading, not being led.
Are you saying that nobody should put a screwdriver into a socket until they are at least 18? Or is putting a screwdriver in a socket something that one should learn not to do at any age, because the consequences are immediate and catastrophic and certain? Which one is the lesson to be learned by your analogy, and do you put sex in the same category as putting a screwdriver in a socket?
It's fine to use analogies, but there should be some natural relationship between them.
Call me a prude but I can't help thinking of the emotinal damage promiscous (and I include eterosexual sex) experimenting can cause to young people.
Do you know what "promiscuous" means? I'll help you:
Main Entry: pro·mis·cu·ous
Pronunciation: \prə-ˈmis-kyə-wəs\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin promiscuus, from pro- forth + miscēre to mix — more at pro-, mix
Date: 1601
1 : composed of all sorts of persons or things
2 : not restricted to one class, sort, or person : indiscriminate <education…cheapened through the promiscuous distribution of diplomas — Norman Cousins>
3 : not restricted to one sexual partner
4 : casual, irregular <promiscuous eating habits>
Having a steady boyfriend or girlfriend does not even begin to qualify.
this is where it gets tricky I belive my son when he says that he and the other boy are just friends so if I say no it seems like I am saying that he can't go becuse his friends are gay and if they were straight then I would be okay with it. as for the parents I have met them and as far as I know they would be home during this night.
I don't see what you or anyone else would gain by saying no whether they are "just friends" or not. There is nothing wrong with two healthy 17-year-olds having sex, and as has been pointed out, there is no chance of pregnancy here.
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