Cafemom -- Anyone heard of it? (ideas, baby, parents, wife)

[MrMom2]

What is it and would you recommend it as a good parenting advice site?

[nuala]

The site is busy so some find it worthwhile - but in my opinion, - too much estrogen on that site.... Girly signatures alone taking half a page with every post...

[cdc3217]

If you can handle the advice on here I can't see that credibility is a big issue.

[MrMom2]

Is it just for Moms (as in no men allowed)? How would they know?

[nuala]

Originally Posted by MrMom2

Is it just for Moms (as in no men allowed)? How would they know?

I'm sure you wouldn't have to hide behind a woman's nickname. They have different interest groups, and concentrating on the problem of that group (potty training, cerebral palsy, birthday ideas) - they won't mind an extra member.

[MrMom2]

Originally Posted by nuala

I'm sure you wouldn't have to hide behind a woman's nickname. They have different interest groups, and concentrating on the problem of that group (potty training, cerebral palsy, birthday ideas) - they won't mind an extra member.

Hope so. I'd feel wierd doing that, but I guess I could if no one knew and I was behaving (which I plan to).

Someone told me they boot men the moment they see them, so I was nervous about it. I guess I could have the Mrs sign up and just piggyback off her, I guess. Still kinda wierd.

Thanks

[GypsySoul22]

I've been on there and, well, you get a lot of very high strung women...and a lot of men haters..!

There is always someone ranting about 'my sperm donor' in reference to the father of her child...(gross in my opinion).

[MrMom2]

So if I go there just lay low about my gender and I can still participate and get the advice and input I'm looking for about some Stay-at-Home parent topics and I'll be fine. Or just let em think I'm a SAHM.

That's makes me feel kinda strange even thinking about having to do that (why can't I just be me and be accepted without judgement or suspicions), but appears thats what they drive well-meaning guys to doing. They flat out tell the men they aren't allowed but don't have any way of stopping them, so what choice to do they have but to appear as females or share an acct with someone who is? It would be incredibly naive to assume no men are there at all imho.

I read that the creator of the site (a man) admitted to having to log in with his wife's acct to avoid being deleted from his own site. Sad. Has to break his own rules.

So many women complain about the man not being involved enough and then when those few men want to be, they tell them to get lost and go to some useless daddy sites that don't have anything there or even work? I don't get it. It seems to be largely populated by people that have had bad experiences or encountered a few bad eggs that ruined it for the entire male gender. Its naive to assume that women aren't capable of the same things.

All I want is some further parenting advice. Thats all. No harm meant and if I gotta do it under cover, then I guess thats what I'll have to do. Stupid. I wouldn't bother and I'd normally blow em off if they wanna be that way, but when I researched the site I found it to be very good, a lot of activity, things to do and look into and advice I feel I could use, so its something I'd like to look into if only for a day or two at least. Also appears during registration that there's nothing stopping anyone from joining up and its assumed your female (because of the site name I guess). We're all parents, why can't we all just act like adults and get along?

The excuses they give on there for "no men" are short-sighted, paranoid, sexist and somewhat lame. Many topics there aren't gender-specific, aren't related to parentiing, making the gender restriction all the more illogical. Women can be mean, dangerous people too.

"Why would men want to be on a Mom site where we talk about breast feeding?" True, I wouldn't look at those topics, I'd look at ones that pertained to me and my life, so there's no fear of Joe Stranger seeing Jane Stranger's talk about her habits and issues with baby. Even if I did, you wouldn't know it and its your choice to talk about it in public viewing on the web. If your that embarrassed then don't talk about it to a buncha faceless strangers on the net imho.

I could ask the same thing of them. Why would Moms on a parenting advice website need to ask about adult male fashions and what shoes their husbands should be wearing? Whats that gotta do with being a mother? Why would men be barred from seeing those topics?

Dads are parents, too. Sites like this aren't letting them be or forcing them to be sneaky just to get perfectly good advice. Yes there's evil men (and women) out there, but barring all of us is not right nor making men go to those extremes to be able to participate. I know many dads probably could care less, but this dad and a few others do. Sorry so long, but I felt the need to vent it out.

Thanks for listening to my points of view. Again I wouldn't bother, but I have to say its a darn good site for parents and I feel totally left out.

[nuala]

I just joined CafeMom as a man, James, and wrote my first post: "I'm a man - is that OK to participate?".

Will see what happens.

[nuala]

I (as James) was immediately kicked out! My account doesn't exist when I try to login

I registered again as James2, and now am NOT asking if it's OK to join, - but I just answered on a thread, and signed James. Will see what happens.