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I think I would tell him to stand up for himself next time.
"THat is not a friendly thing to say to me and I am going to tell the teacher if you don't stop" and tell him to do so if needed. Nip the bullying in the bud. It is not OK to make fun of people...or maybe talk to the other little boys mom.
As for cutting his hair, ask him. If his hair is giving him a problem he will want to cut it. If he likes it keep it. Nobody should be encouraged to change their apperance to accomodate another person. Don't conform so a 'bully' wins. I think that would be way worse.
To me, there is a difference between telling someone they look like a girl and calling them a girl.
My son is in 1st grade and he has made the same type statement about someone who he thought was a girl due to hair length and about someone he thought was a boy, also due to hair length. He only had looks to go by at first and since the majority of long haired people are girls and short haired people are boys, it was a logical impression to have at such a young age. He certainly wasn't making fun of anyone, nor bullying. He was learning that not everything is as it seems on the surface.
A cousin I provide child care for keeps his hair longer than most and he has very fair skin with lots of freckles, is a bit on the chunky side and has a name that is used for both sexes. He could actually pass for a girl fairly easily. He is aware of that and just shakes it off when people initially think he is a girl. He knows he's not a girl, he knows he looks like one to many people until they look closer, so he understands. Then again, he's not 5, he's almost 12 now, so there's a big difference.
I think parents who do things for their children to head off potential social problems are doing the right thing. So cutting his hair is a smart move until he is mature enough to understand and handle the social issues that come with having longer hair.
No, no, no, no. Tell tales are the lowest of the low. He needs to learn to handle it "between boys".
WEll,,,at the school my dd attends (she is in Kindergarten as well) We have gotten paper after paper after paper about the no tolerance of bullying. So my kids will learn not to hit. Just like in "real life", you can't just handle things the 'boy way' so why teach them that? Fact of the matter is, anyone can voice their opinion no matter their age. So you need to teach them a tactful way to handle it.
There are ways to handle it without hitting or being labelled as a "tattletale" - I personally would have a talk with my son about his hair - does he like it like that or was he having to deal with MY preference on his hair...If HE liked his hair that way, I would, as an earlier poster mentioned, teach him to ignore it at this point. It will get old when there is no gratifying response. If it continues and escalates, I would have him tell me and I would have a conversation with the teacher. If he in fact didn't care for his hair that way, just didn't realize he had a say in the matter, I would cut it.....
You have gotten some good advice and I will add only my personal experience. I have a first grader who has beautiful curly hair. I don't think he was getting teased about it in Kindergarten, but when summer came along, and I buzzed his older brother's hair, he wanted a buzz cut as well. We compromised and I buzzed the sides and left some curls on top. I was sad to do it but when it was done, I really liked the cut. It was definitely a boy cut, but still retained the curls that I and a lot of people love. I think the reason he wanted to be rid of the curls was in part b/c so many people comment on his hair and touch it. It made it easier to care for and keep clean in the summer too. If your's curls are like mine, once they get to a certain length, they start tangling and are difficult to keep neat.
I just wanted to share with you a cut that worked out well for us.
thanks for everyone's input. you all made so much effort to share your experience, i'm very touched. My son actually didn't mind all that much about the other boy saying that he's a girl, he just told me that this happened, 2 days in a row, he didn't mind if I left his hair curly longer or just cut it, so I just went ahead and cut it, today is the first time he's showing off his new boy hair cut in class, so we'll see....I like one of the inputs, talking about training our kids to respond in a humorous way and that will prep him as a adult...will share more if this issue occurs again!!
I was teased unmercifly as a kid.....particularily by one guy.....I was tall, skinny, had ears that stuck out into the next county....one day I got tired of it and waited behind a neighbors garage for him to walk home from school.....he, nor anyone else, teased me again....... nuf said
and for those of you that say....OHHH NOOOO That will make my darling turn out to be violent.... that was the FIRST, LAST and ONLY fight I have ever had with anyone......
thanks for everyone's input. you all made so much effort to share your experience, i'm very touched. My son actually didn't mind all that much about the other boy saying that he's a girl, he just told me that this happened, 2 days in a row, he didn't mind if I left his hair curly longer or just cut it, so I just went ahead and cut it, today is the first time he's showing off his new boy hair cut in class, so we'll see....I like one of the inputs, talking about training our kids to respond in a humorous way and that will prep him as a adult...will share more if this issue occurs again!!
I think you were right to cut his hair. At age 5, it probably wasn't all that traumatic that the other boys said he looked like a girl, but it's better to help him feel he looks like a boy and have a kind of self-confidence early on.
It's a good idea to let kids pick their own clothes and hair, even if they look grubby because it's them that has to face the teasing.
There are probably reasons for social conformity - and each generation has it's own standards.
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