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The child that's calling your son a girl goes beyond "teasing" over "hair" ... this is an emasculating behavior and the child doing the name-calling probably has other social maladjustment issues. I'm a retired teacher myself, and have seen this type of behavior before.
Wow, you are being a bit dramatic considering OP said lots of people say her son looks like a girl, yet you pick out one little kid and give him a harsh armchair diagnosis? Perhaps all of the people who think he looks like a girl have social maladjustment issues or perhaps he just looks like a girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaving.Illinois
You have to understand that you're dealing with children. For them, rationale does not exist. They don't have social skills yet, they all want to fit in and be accepted.
So maybe the kid doesn't have social maladjustment issues?? Maybe he's just a kid who is still learning social skills?? Brilliant.
OP, I'd go by what your son wants. I seriously doubt he is as attached to his hair as you seem to be. I wonder if he is willing to go through years of people thinking he looks like a girl, waiting for those teen years when his other masculine features become more prominent. You might be willing to go through it, but then you aren't the one going through it. Besides, his hair will grow out by then.
I think some people have forgotten how hard it is when you are a kid. There are things you "should not have to do" but they are needed to make a kids life easier. So what if he gets a haircut, it grows back. You don't want to intentionally make your child suffer because of something that can be fixed for 20 bucks.
I guess thats why it amazes me that parents give their kids funny names. My wife's name is one made up by her parents. My wife is white and her name on resumes make people think she is black. I'm not, nor is my wife racist, but we firmly believe she has not had some interviews because people read the name and don't want to go further.
I would do everything I can to make sure my kid doesnt have to fight unneccessary battles because of his/her hair, name, or how they dress.
No, no, no, no. Tell tales are the lowest of the low. He needs to learn to handle it "between boys".
A lot has changed since we were in school and handling it "between boys" is not the way to go. They are now pressing charges on kids for that kind of thing. Words are just words but if it does get physical then sometimes there is no choice but to defend but avoidance is the main priority.
my 5 yr old son has nice curly hair and lots think he looks like a girl, but i truly believe that once he reaches teenage year, he'll man structure will show, like muscles..etc. he was told by his classmate that he looks like a girl, and my son already responded to him that he's not a girl, and that boy keeps calling him a girl, I don't want my son to call this boy any other names back, but what would u do? I don't want to make any trouble, or am I taking this too serious?
As we all know, kids can be mean. There is nothing any more hurtful than playground banter or gym class torment. I think at one time or another we have all had that certain "person" who will not let up on the name calling or the tormenting; doesn't make it ok. I would not tell your son to retaliate against this kid who keeps saying he looks like a girl. It has to be the curls because if they are both about the same age then the furthest thing from your worried mind should be the shape of his 5 year old body. For God sakes he is a baby!!
The only reason this kid is tormenting him is first of all I hear a bully in the making and second, he is making fun of your son's curls..some kids just think only girls can have curly hair. How bad does this bother your son? I have a feeling it is hurting you more to hear him complain about this. Ask him if he wants to cut his hair shorter so this kid will stop but I doubt that now this bully has his "foot in the door" he isn't going to unless the teacher stops him. Bring it to your son's teacher's attention and perhaps she can have a session in class about bullying...nip this in the bud. One less bully caught early.
Kids can be so mean..you just gotta teach him some good comebacks....if he is telling your son he looks like a girl, have your son tell him that he looks like a grandpa or a grandma...something funny
My ex had curly hair. It was really nice. Even cut short, you could still see the curls on top though. Get your son a nice short haircut. It's what I do with my boy too. He lost his curls when they shaved his head in the hospital though.
The child that's calling your son a girl goes beyond "teasing" over "hair" ... this is an emasculating behavior and the child doing the name-calling probably has other social maladjustment issues. I'm a retired teacher myself, and have seen this type of behavior before.
If the child in question begins to call your child by female names it's time to speak to the classroom teacher about this situation.
If you'd like to offer your son a reply to give back to the little instigator, that's easy enough too. One little boy in my class had the same problem. His reply was "Look, just because you're unhappy being a boy doesn't mean I am. So stop calling me a girl. I'm not like you."
Problem ended. The instigator was too embarrassed to pursue the taunting anymore and just gave up.
I would go up to school, have my son point out who is telling him he looks like a girl, go over to the child and say, stop calling my son a girl, in a really firm voice, and have the teacher present.
Children have to learn to stand up for themselves. And the lessons usually begin at your son's age. If they don't learn that very hard lesson they are going to be "that kid". The one who is picked on.
Teach your son not to back down. I am not talking about him busting open the lip of his little tormentor. But to learn to use words and wit, maybe a little humor, to let the other kids know that he is not someone to be pushed around. Child #2 is being agressive. Teach your son to assert himself as well. He's got a long life ahead of him and he doesn't need to be the doormat. Today it's hair. Tomorrow it IS going to be something else unless the other kids learn not to mess with him. It will also have the nice side effect of making him a bit of a leader. And leaders are the popular kids.
In my day, the way to handle bullies was to beat them up and that was the advice my father gave me. But, I believe this is no longer allowed.
It actually works in most cases not that I would ever tell my son to beat someone up who is bullying him.
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