Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is an old blog, but I wanted to comment as well, since I've had the same encounters. I'm 23 years old and my son will be 3 soon. Yes, I got pregnant at 19 and had him at 20. His Father and I only lasted a year after I had him (a grand total of 3). I'm a lot better off without him. I don't take hand outs, I don't ask him or the state for any compensation because I decided, on my own free will, that I wanted to be a Mother. I didn't go out there looking to get knocked up, I was 19! I hadn't ever planned on being a parent. I thought maybe if I'm 26 or so. I get those looks "Wow, she looks young." I was at the grocery store the other day and I saw an old friend from high school, he asked me "Is this your little brother?" Very funny. I just said "No, this is beautiful son, Preston. Say hi, Preston." I AM young and enjoying every bit of it. Of course I work very hard to give my son the best life he could ever have. And you know what? I'm doing a hell of a lot better than some of the 30 year old new mothers I've seen out there. Why? Because I have the time and energy to do so and I haven't forgotten how to love. I'm not 30 discovering that I have some sort of cancer or some genetic disease. I'm healthy, young and fit. My son and I are the best of friends and I wouldn't change that for the world! So if anyone gives you a look, just give em one back!
I have one comment.
I liked your post up until the cancer comment.
I had one daughter when I was 20 and another at 29. At 30, I was diagnosed with cancer. Did that make me less of a mother? I don't think so.
You might want to be careful with the things you say because you could hurt someone. Having cancer at 30 made me a stronger mother.
I had to laugh as some of the replies to this post... I too have this problem. I had my first at 18, second at 20, and my stepkids were born when I would have been 16 and 17. My youngest is 6. I am 34, and look very young as well. My husband, at 43, looks much older than he is. Oh yes, this is a recipe for disaster... I have been called my daughter's sister and my husband's daughter on a fairly regular basis. My crowning achievement, though, was when I was 29. We were riding the Santa Train around Christmastime. I was sitting with my children (of course), and my parents. My husband was not able to come with us that year. My kids would have been 10, 12, and almost 2. I had the littlest one on my lap. As the ride drew to a close, there were people handing out coloring books to all the kids. When they got to us, of course, they gave my son and daughter each one, and handed me one. What happened next is one of the highlights of my entire life. They turned to my dad and gave him one for the baby! To this day, I don't know how old they thought I was!
When people ask if that's really my daughter, and tell me how young I look, I just smile and say "Thanks! I'll take that wherever I can get it!"
My 1st child was born on my 22nd birthday (Happy Birthday MOMMY!) I am now 26 (alright...I'll be 27 in 2 weeks). I had my 3rd and last child this past July. I love my family and wouldn't trade what we have for anything. However, I feel that I am more ready for my 3rd child than I was with my other 2. I feel that maybe I had my children too young (and that was at 22 and 24). I have more patience and understanding of what it takes to raise a child.
Of course, I am one individual person. I know there are plenty of people out there who had kids at 17, 18, 19 years old and are WONDERFUL parents! There are people out there who had children at 30+ years old and aren't very good parents. And, vice versa. Each situation is different for each person, and it's no ones place to judge (unless the parent is harming the child).
Also, my mother was 26 when she had me (I was her 4th child). She will take my oldest daughter out shopping and people ask her if it's her daughter. They ask us if we are sisters. Mom loves it and so do I! When I am her age (50+), people will ask if my granddaughter/son is my child.
My husband and I talk often - if we had met when we were 20 or 21 - we could have had 6 kids or so - he and I would have loved that! - but I feel fortunate I met him and we had 2!!
If I am not sure it is the mother of the child, I always act like it may be a sister - then at least, one is complimented b/c sometimes, you can't tell.
hey jesslo- don't worry about what other people think! I just had a baby 6 months ago- I am 27- and I get looks from people! And I am 27! A lot of older Moms seem to think I am to young to have a baby- so I can only begin to imagine how you feel. If your a good mom thats all that matters- not your age.
The consequences of having babies when you are young....
One of the fun consequences of having your kids when you are young, is that you probably will become a grandparent while you are still young!
My 18 year old daughter made me a grandmother when I was 39. That baby is 9 years old now, and people still assume I'm her mom when we are out in public together.
My favorite photo is one with 5 generations of women in my family, all together in one photo!
It was a picture of baby Allie, her mother(my daughter at 18), her grandmother (me at 39), her great-grandmother (my mom at 62), and her great-great grandmother (my grandmother at 82).
Pretty awesome to meet your great-great grandma, huh!
On the extreme flip side of this discussion, my husband's sister has a two year old. This baby was born one month before sister-in-law's 51st birthday. Yes, I said 51st birthday. That is one gorgeous kid, and I just love that story.
I think woman were physically designed to have babies at a young age. Emotionally and financially, it can sometimes be tough, however.
###
It's a catch 22. I'm becoming a father in 2 months to twins, our first children. We're 41 and 38! When you're young, you're physically ready for babies, but may not be emotionally and financially ready (I certainly wasn't). Now I fee mentally/emotionally ready, we have a nice house, great schools, and financial means, but the sleep deprevation is going to kick my butt! I am in excellent shape and health, look 10 years younger than I am, so that's a plus. I also feel like I need to be extra healthy to be around for a long time for the kids, so I run every day, work out, and eat crazy healthy.
It's a catch 22. I'm becoming a father in 2 months to twins, our first children. We're 41 and 38! When you're young, you're physically ready for babies, but may not be emotionally and financially ready (I certainly wasn't). Now I fee mentally/emotionally ready, we have a nice house, great schools, and financial means, but the sleep deprevation is going to kick my butt! I am in excellent shape and health, look 10 years younger than I am, so that's a plus. I also feel like I need to be extra healthy to be around for a long time for the kids, so I run every day, work out, and eat crazy healthy.
I agree, it is a catch 22 because believe me, it goes the other way.
I am 41 with a 2 yr old (& a 5yr old) but I am out during the day with my 2yr old because my other child is in school and wow, when the subject of age comes up, I feel completely out of place.
I don't ALWAYS look my age, I try to keep myself looking as young as possible but I also don't lie about my age.
So, when people (other YOUNGER mom's) find out how old I am, they are sometimes completely shocked! Most of the members of the mom's group I belong to are in their mid to late 20's and I definitely feel completely out of place.
We chose to wait to have our children, worked really hard and now feel as though we are financially and emotionally ready for our children.
It is tough being an "older" mom in today's world as well.
I do applaud the younger mom's though because when I was in my 20's, I was much to immature to even be able to think about having children!
I was having way to much fun! (Not that parenting isn't fun,but it is a different type of fun!)
It's a catch 22. I'm becoming a father in 2 months to twins, our first children. We're 41 and 38! When you're young, you're physically ready for babies, but may not be emotionally and financially ready (I certainly wasn't). Now I fee mentally/emotionally ready, we have a nice house, great schools, and financial means, but the sleep deprevation is going to kick my butt! I am in excellent shape and health, look 10 years younger than I am, so that's a plus. I also feel like I need to be extra healthy to be around for a long time for the kids, so I run every day, work out, and eat crazy healthy.
I feel the same way I think i work harder to keep myself looking and feeling younger because i had my son at 31 and i will have our 2nd at 36, My owne Mother has made rude coments about my age and having kids. Good luck with the new babies, and you get use to the sleep depervation I dont think i havve had more than 6 hours a night in the last 4 years but they have been happy 4 years
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am now 26 (alright...I'll be 27 in 2 weeks). I had my 3rd and last child this past July. I love my family and wouldn't trade what we have for anything. However, I feel that I am more ready for my 3rd child than I was with my other 2. I feel that maybe I had my children too young (and that was at 22 and 24). I have more patience and understanding of what it takes to raise a child. 
They ask us if we are sisters. Mom loves it and so do I! When I am her age (50+), people will ask if my granddaughter/son is my child. 
Young mothers
The consequences of having babies when you are young....
