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If they tried to kill you, or they raped you? I don't mean to sound creepy, it's just a hypothetical question - because if you loved them unconditionally, you'd love them even if they did THAT.
I guess that depends on what you mean by "disown." You provided 2 very EXTREME examples: attempted murder & rape. Obviously, if one's own adult child tried to kill their parent and was intent on doing on, it would be unsafe to be near them again. Same for the rape scenario.
You would still love them, I am sure, but come on.....if you have any common sense at all, you're not going to go near someone bent on killing or raping you.
Why such extreme examples?
Yes, I love my children unconditionally. No matter what they do, I will always love them. If I saw one of them running at me with an axe, would I stand there with my arms open - no.
What's your point? "Love" does not mean absence of boundaries. You sound very confused........
WTH kind of question is that? Would I love my kid if he raped me or tried to kill me....sorry....but your question IS sick and creepy and I really can't get past that to answer whatever your underlying question is.
I heard of two cases: in one, a 50 yo son was accused of trying to kill his 90yo mother. What does "disowning" mean at 90 years old? He was also a daily caretaker for her.
In the other, a 18 yo pointed a pellet gun at his mother, threatening to kill her. There have been years of crimes and misdemeanors before - stolen cars, robberies. Obviously the problems didn't just start with a pointed gun. What would "disowning" mean in this case, if the mother probably started feeling like a parenting failure ten years before that? Which, in itself, is already a disconnect, dis-owning of each other emotionally?
Disowning and conditional love are two different things.
Sometimes it's necessary to disassociate with someone out of love. Think "Tough Love." You don't necessarily stop loving someone when you decide to send them away.
Unconditional love doesnt' mean that we have to love everything a person does. You can love a person and hate their actions.
Perhaps it's an article that was mentioned in the newspaper or on the local news that prompted the OP to ask this question. Seen instances of attempted murder, assaults etc. and the community reaction is mixed because the child is underage and is coming back home or not welcomed at home any longer.
What if your kid did this to someone else? Rape or murder (with malice, not self-defense)? I can't imagine NOT disowning my kid if he/she did this.
I would NEVER disown either one of my children, no matter what they did. Everyone is capable of murder. We are all capable. Of course, one has to observe safety precautions.....but no I would not "disown" them...I love my children no matter what they do.
i don't understand the part about the child raping the parent...has there been such a case??
hard to say if i would ever disown my son....
i know parents who have disowned their children just for being homosexual!
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Disowning is silly anyway, it's like trying to call black white. Nothing will change the fact you are there parent, whether you accept it or not.
I have to say I'd treat/think of them differently, definitely, but it would depend too. What if they were suffering from some mental illness? It'd be totally different if they tried to kill me purely for monetary gain. Like Sundance said I'd avoid them out of personal safety unless I was sure they were remorseful. Then, I think, short of some cathartic moment of reconciliation (which I'd still hope would happen) things would be icy.
This is all hypothetical because I neither have kids or have kids who've tried to do me in! lol
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