I stood up to DS todaY! (punishment, babies, games, parents)
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Ok, ds is a long story, but here's where we're at now:
He's 13, at times a good kid, at times beligerient and defiant. He can get quite upity, thinking he's in charge. Well, today he found out he isn't.
Two things happened:
First, i was called to school for the second time for him fighting. His story conflicted with the teachers, other students, etc. My main concern at that point was that he complained of injuries, including a bloody nose.I did take him to a doctor, an ER clinic, although I didn't see any visible signs of injury, no bloody nose, nothing obvious.
When the doc came in, he gave a different story than he gave me. This is typical. he oftentimes gives twisted versions to different people of the same event, whatever suits his purpose. He said he didn't have a bloody nose, and, in effect, I had taken him out of school for no reason. At that point I just said perhaps its better for him to talk to the doctor in private, after all, hes 13, old enough to have a private doctor visit. Then that way if I'm not in the room he can't play me.
Well, turned out he didn't have any injuries and denied to the doc any bloody nose, etc. The bill came to $50. I told him that $50 comes out of the money I had to pay him for some chores he'd done. He is a good helper and I do pay him, but he has to learn money isn't a toy. I took $50 in cash form my purse, the money I had for him, and paid the bill.
Then, on the way home, he started acting up in the car. The window was rolled down and the door half-shut. I asked him to roll the window up, he pretended to and said it wouldn't. I could see in the review mirror he was holding the button down with one hand while pretending to roll it up with the other.
I pulled over and asked him to please roll up the window and shut the door properly He continued to play smart-ass, pretending to roll up the window while holding the button down. I told him to either roll up the window and shut the door properly or get out. So he got out, and said I couldn't leave him by the side of the road, he'd call CPS. I drove off, leaving him to walk home.
Ok, it was less than 2 miles, after school and curfew hours, pedestrian paths all the way and lights along the way. The lights weren't in his direct path, but within a reasonable walking distance. its not like I let him off in the middle of the freeway at rush hour. He made it home in about an hour.
My rules---ride safely in my car, or get out!
Also, don't jerk me around about bogus medical complaints to get out of school then expect me to pay the bill!
So, interesting, do I get flames for being a bad mother? I think I was a very good mother today, I taught him exactly what i will take, what is acceptable, and what isn't.
It didn't kill him to walk 2 miles, maybe he will sleep better tonight instead of being awake hoaf the night playing video games!
After typing this out, dh read it. He laughed and said it sounded like the kid has met his match. But he said it sounds like he's had a $hitty day, let it end peacefully. Don't mess with Momma!
If the childs father is around, make sure that the two of you are synchronised on all of this.
Make sure that you tell him the boundaries and ensure that there is a punishment if he crosses them.
If you are much further from home such that you cant leave him to walk on his own. Still kick him out of the car and have him walk along in front. One thing I have done when the kids are acting up and we are on the freeway is to take the next exit and find a park and make them run around the park a certain number of times.
I mouthed off to my dad only once when I was 15. He stopped the car, yanked me out through the passenger window, slapped my face and left me to walk home about five miles. Took me about four hours as it was on the outskirts of town. I never was rude to the man again. Bravo is all I can say. He laughs about it now and says if I ever do that to his grandbabies he'll shoot me dead. Tough SOB.
I mouthed off to my dad only once when I was 15. He stopped the car, yanked me out through the passenger window, slapped my face and left me to walk home about five miles. Took me about four hours as it was on the outskirts of town. I never was rude to the man again. Bravo is all I can say. He laughs about it now and says if I ever do that to his grandbabies he'll shoot me dead. Tough SOB.
Sorry, but I think I like your dad. Not enough parents demand respect anymore, especially in a way that leaves a lasting memory.
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