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Its a little of both. But I know I shouldn't compare myself to others buts its so hard not to.
I think most of us when we were younger picture ourselves financially comfortable by age 30 and ready for a house and kids. I thought if I went to school, got the degrees, saved up planned smartly, I surely would. Surprise, not there yet.
I have done this as well even though I'm older than you. I have always done it. It's not so much the green eyed monster but you're trying to do all the right things and then....
Looking back, the 30's (age wise) were the best time. You can go FHA or conventional on a home with less than 20% down. Look in your area if that's cheaper than renting.
Hang in there with the new career. You may look back someday and be thankful.
The happiest couples I know and they are still married:
Both went to college and graduated
Both worked and they saved 1/2 of their income
By 30-35, they had their first child
Wife stayed home (usually had 1 or 2 more children)
During that 10-15 years away from work, family a priority (they owned a home already - before kids)
Wife goes back to work (if she wants) when children in high school or grown or part time
Financially secure
Their kids are thriving. Their parents have been involved in their lives. It happened to several couples that I know personally and that I look up to. I wish my life had turned out like that, however, we are dealt the cards we are dealt.
(And of course, this is 10-15 years ago, but there's a lot more opportunity for work at home jobs today).
Yes, I've always wanted a family. In fact, my dream was to have 3 kids. Now I think I'll be lucky to get one.
I don't know how fertility is in my family because everyone has had them before 30. I've been getting family pressure since I was 28. And I was single.
You are on the right track. Having a child is amazing. Just keep yourself healthy and you will be fine; also don't worry.
My husband is the planner, the old 5 year plan. My life had been chaotic but I was so happy to actually get married - we were married October 25th and guess what, July 26th, our daughter was born. It was a great surprise! If we had thought about it so much, we might have put it off but it was the best time of our lives. Having our children - no one can say how it will be but it took US by ultimate surprise. I will never regret those times - were times tight - sometimes. My husband left his job and went out on his own. (Then I was on my own - financially speaking - until he was up and running which was 12-14 years). But, we did it.
My only regret - that we didn't have 2 more. When you have a family, your life changes.
You will find other doors open for you. Once I had children, people that never spoke to me now did. Weird. Maybe it's not the same now but this is 25 years ago.
its different then our parents days. we have sooooo many on welfare now because of poor planning and thinking the money will always come from somewhere.
well they were right, tax payers pockets.
it's kinda funny that you say this. there was a report in early 2010 on the numbers from 2009. the number of people on "welfare" rose for the first time in 15 years. it went from 3.8 million people in 2008 to 4 million people in 2009. at one time, there were as many as 14 million people on the cash assistant program. so i'd say, we're doing pretty good in this department these days.
as for being able to afford a family, i'm kind of amazed at the the slightly alarmist tone of some posts. people afford families on much less than the OP's household makes. you just need to be able to make choices. as with any income amount, make a budget, and see what's there.
I think we'd need more details about your life, salary, and spending patterns to give input. It seems what it really all comes down to is expectations.
I don't get why you want to have a kid if you're already kinda broke. Doesn't sound like a good idea to me. You won't be going out with the girls anyway once you have a kid, so you might as well get used to the idea.
I think a big part of the problem is that Americans don't know how to have fun without spending money. They always have to go out to a bar or restuarant, instead of inviting friends over for lunch/dinner and cooking at home or having a potluck.
i'm confused. so the OP has 5 figures in savings (assume that means at least $10,000?) as well as $20,000 saved for a house. the OP could currently purchase a house for around $100,000, fairly responsibly, and probably not be paying much more than rent currently costs if rent is >$600/month.
Uh, yeah. We did have a talk about this just last night which was an eye opener.
As it stands, I am not planning to get preggers until some serious changes are made.
from reading a few more of your posts, it sounds like you could be saving even more cash, if your hubby didn't use his savings as his goodies account.
but, you're saving, which is good.
i think the bottom line is, you need to get on the same page. maybe he sets up one account that he puts $x/month in that is his "goodies" account, but the rest goes into a longer term savings account with a goal attached to it.
honestly, to me, depending on where you live, making $55k-ish per year and having $20,000 saved specifically for a down payment as well as "5 figure savings" sounds like you're in pretty solid financial shape compared to most Americans. with a few simple steps, i bet you could reduce your expenses even further and have more "fun money" to go out with some friends.
as for being able to afford a family, i'm kind of amazed at the the slightly alarmist tone of some posts. people afford families on much less than the OP's household makes. you just need to be able to make choices. as with any income amount, make a budget, and see what's there.
one problem with smart people waiting longer to start families is that you have tons of idiots starting families when they are teenagers and they are banging out kid after kid. over time, the idiots outbreed the smart people and the future looks pretty bleak.
one problem with smart people waiting longer to start families is that you have tons of idiots starting families when they are teenagers and they are banging out kid after kid. over time, the idiots outbreed the smart people and the future looks pretty bleak.
i'm not sure i understand how this was a response to my comment
i'm not sure i understand how this was a response to my comment
im not sure why i have to explain this to you, but there has been discussion about having kids when "not ready" in this thread and my comment is part of that. your post touched on it, so i quoted your post. i have no need for you to respond to my comment, its open to the public.
Should be anyone who claims to be well-off, but spends hours of the work day on C-D forums.
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Having a child
