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Can't stay home. I am the breadwinner. But we may hold off on buying for awhile. That has been debated for some time. House or baby. We're choosing baby.
Can you explain why you need to be the bread-winner?
So you need to be both the bread-winner and the child-bearer. Now, is anyone beginning to understand why human civilization followed gender roles?
I love how people come out of the woodwork and advise you on how you should live, when you should procreate, and buy your home.
To answer your question: unless you feel like you're defined in part by your job, you should never be embarrassed by your salary. What are you life's priorities, the list of things most important to you? These are the variables your life should be defined by. A failure here can warrant embarrassment, sure. Whatever populates that list, your job should only be a means via which you enable access to, or enhancement of, those things.
I would hope most us of don't have their job or career as one of the five most important things in life.
There's a difference between money being a bit tight and a couple who has NO savings (not $1) bringing a child into the world and fully expecting both parents to work to afford basics. What happens if Miss Crabcakes is put on high risk bedrest at 26 weeks and loses 14 weeks of income (the higher of their 2 incomes)? That alone could land them $10k in debt before baby even gets here, not counting the insurance deductible they'll have to pay if an extended hospital stay is involved. This scenario is not out of question for a 34 year old mother. I have about 5 friends just this year who did not work up to the date they expected due to bedrest. Some of them had jobs/ insurance that paid their full salary during that time; others were not so lucky.
This is a recipe for disaster...or living on the US government's dole. Please don't have a baby until you have at least 3 months expenses saved up. Please.
I've have a 5-figure savings account for almost 10 years now. And the main reason why I live frugally is to keep it that way.
I'm taking a 9-day trip to Italy in spring the reason why I've had no extra cash lately is because I am intent on replacing every dollar I'm spending on it by the end of this year.
I also have $20k to put down in a house if I ever get there. The issue right now is my current wage and knowing that it will take some 3-5 years before I've earned enough experience to get in the salary range I'd like.
Can you explain why you need to be the bread-winner?
I don't need to be the breadwinner. I just am. My husband was a former restaurant manager whose company closed and is undecided on what to do next, so he's starting over. Just happened that I was offered slightly more money than he.
I stayed at home til age 26, putting what I would have paid in rent in my savings ($500-$600) monthly. When I did move out, I lived frugally, renting an apartment for $580 and stayed there for 6 years. Anytime I dipped into my savings, I made a plan to replace it. I went to grad school, believing that it would secure a better future for myself financially and worked my way up from my first post-college job of a sales coordinator to a marketing manager.
It just so happened, I switched jobs for more money, got laid off the same year, spent 9 months unemployed and when finally offered jobs, they were for far less than what I was making. The marketing field discouraged me so I'm trying to parlay my new position into a new career move of proposal/technical writing. But I've had to start at entry level and judging by the job ads I see for the money I'd like to get, it could take 5 years to get there.
I've also worked part-time jobs and am focusing on building a solid portfolio so I can become a part-time freelance writer as well.
I'm not sure what more I could have/should have done.
Sure, but that doesn't mean you actually did everything you could, nor does it mean the things you did do were well planned. Its a bit odd that you are claiming that on one had you did everything right, yet on the other your situation today isn't all that great. Anyhow some things stand out:
- You save you have a 5-figure savings, where do you have it?
- You say you went to get grad school, but did you ever think about the cost vs benefit or just assume more education would benefit you?
- You switched fields because the jobs you found after being unemployed where lower, yet your salary in the new field is lower and will likely be low for years. How exactly is this a good plan?
The fact that you are not doing well today is evidence that you're not doing things right, the fact that you don't see what you could have done to improve matters is evidence that your situation isn't likely to be much better in 5~10 years. You'll just repeat the same sorts of errors that brought you to your current position.
Sure, but that doesn't mean you actually did everything you could, nor does it mean the things you did do were well planned. Its a bit odd that you are claiming that on one had you did everything right, yet on the other your situation today isn't all that great.
I am not claiming I did "everything right" but planned in a way that I thought was smart
Quote:
Anyhow some things stand out:
- You save you have a 5-figure savings, where do you have it?
- You say you went to get grad school, but did you ever think about the cost vs benefit or just assume more education would benefit you?
- You switched fields because the jobs you found after being unemployed where lower, yet your salary in the new field is lower and will likely be low for years. How exactly is this a good plan?
- My savings is in a money market account.
- My former job paid for my grad school education and yes, the job outlook during that time (2003-2006) did predict higher earnings
- I switched fields because I found something I like and feel I am good at and was also offered a position in. I applied for many other jobs making more money but those offers never came. I decided to make the best of this new opportunity. And yes, I do think that is a better plan than sitting on unemployment and waiting for something better to come along.
Quote:
The fact that you are not doing well today is evidence that you're not doing things right, the fact that you don't see what you could have done to improve matters is evidence that your situation isn't likely to be much better in 5~10 years. You'll just repeat the same sorts of errors that brought you to your current position.
I respectfully disagree.
I believe there are many factors outside of my control that have gotten me where I am including a dismal economy, just in case you haven't any idea what is going on in the job market today and despite your opinions I feel I've done a lot for myself and it could have been terribly worse.
Some things just don't work out no matter how well you plan but I don't expect everyone to agree or understand this.
I don't know what more you think I should have done but I am no longer interested in your opinions. I sense a tone on your posts that I find highly critical, unnecessary and unappreciated.
I will ignore any future posts from you so you do not have to be bothered. Thanks.
So you have savings, but your husband doesn't? Don't you consider all the money "yours"? (vs his and mine)
I dunno how Miss Crabcakes considers it but I consider the savings I accumulated before getting married mine. Then the savings we accumulated together as ours.
So you have savings, but your husband doesn't? Don't you consider all the money "yours"? (vs his and mine)
No, I haven't looked at it that way.
I started this account when I was 15 for a future home and family and he is unable to keep his hands out of his, hence, the reason why he can't keep a balance in it.
So it remains mine. The house downpayment account, however, I consider ours.
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