Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
They may have two incomes but going out now becomes twice as expensive. Actually more then twice as much because as a couple you may be more inclined to go to nicer restaurants.
Now you may need a second vehicle so there is double the insurance. So that pretty much cancels out the "well 2 people can share rent/mortgage" thought. The money just gets spent somewhere else.
If your into gift giving and holiday visits, a couple may have double to spend for and or travel to.
Cost of clothes go up. Those comfortable, raggedy old clothes may not be tolerated by your wife so it's time to get new ones.
Grocery shopping becomes more expensive.
Christmas time becomes considerably more expensive.
As a couple you will not only have a birthday to cover but an anniversary and Valentines day as well.
They may have two incomes but going out now becomes twice as expensive. Actually more then twice as much because as a couple you may be more inclined to go to nicer restaurants.
Now you may need a second vehicle so there is double the insurance. So that pretty much cancels out the "well 2 people can share rent/mortgage" thought. The money just gets spent somewhere else.
If your into gift giving and holiday visits, a couple may have double to spend for and or travel to.
Cost of clothes go up. Those comfortable, raggedy old clothes may not be tolerated by your wife so it's time to get new ones.
Grocery shopping becomes more expensive.
Christmas time becomes considerably more expensive.
As a couple you will not only have a birthday to cover but an anniversary and Valentines day as well.
Going out doesn't have to cost twice as much because you can split plates and going nicer is simply an assumption
Insurance goes down typically upon getting married and sometimes again for multi car policies
Gift giving isn't a must, my wife and I don't exchange them ever.
I wouldn't tolerate raggedy clothing as a single so this too isn't an issue
Grocery shopping is actually easier and not twice as expensive. It easier to use some items more efficiently and or utilize larger size/bulk
We don't celebrate any of those events. We do travel a lot though but that's cheaper per person together than it would be if we traveled alone.
Sounds like you could use being single as an excuse to be a cheap, no frills, raggedy bum
Last edited by Lowexpectations; 03-28-2015 at 05:32 PM..
I used to feel that way. But haven't felt that way in while. I was just going through a phase of comparing my finances to others. And of course I would only compare my self to others who had more, not less. I can only speak for myself, and I found that comparing myself to others made me envious of what they could to with their two incomes.....and of course, I'd never come out well in that comparison, because I just can't do and save like people with twice the money.
A friend finally said "STOP IT" -- you just have to accept you can't do what they can do. Get over it. That helped a lot.
Yes, psychologists have found that making social comparisons does, indeed, make people unhappy. Your friend telling you to stop it, is literally what you should say to yourself if/when you catch yourself making those comparisons in the future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdflk
Every now and then.... once. in. a. while. I'll have the passing thought.."boy, if I made twice as much money"...But it passes just as quickly as it came, because I DON'T make twice as much so there's nothing even to ponder about that.
I don't know that I'm still 'envious'....I just know that it would be nice, if......
The grass always looks greener. Sometimes it really is. Sometimes not. If you want to be part of a couple, then you have to do the things that get you there.
We have a high divorce rate in the US (assuming OP is in the US). I bet there is a high percentage of people in an unhappy marriage that are jealous of single people.
This is true, too. I think some people where I work are jealous of the fact that I'm single & can do what I want. I am a little jealous that they're part of a couple. My rational self knows tough trade offs are made no matter which camp you're in.
Consider that half the married people "that have it better" have a little settling of the "better" when divorcing. A modest car is better than half a Rolls Royce any day..
Actually, the 50% divorce rate statistic hasn't been true for decades, and possibly, not ever:
OP, you should only be jealous of couples if they have the same savvy financial mindset. It's hell to couple up with someone who has different opinions on finances.
For instance you might prefer staycations, where the other needs to fly to other continents in order for it be a real holiday.
You might prefer takeout or home cooked meals, where the SO needs to eat out at least twice a week, and no fast food places are allowed.
You might have no expensive hobbies, where your partner has.
We used to be a dual income household with both of us making similar incomes and both pretty good money. But I got a job offer that paid roughly 50% more in an area with a lower cost of living so I took the job, moved the family, wife stopped working, etc. It was pretty nice. Then I got lucky and got another job offer in the same area that ended up being double my original income so I make as much now as I did when both of us were working in an area with lower COL so it has been great.
So quality of live doesn't have to go down if one spouse stops working if you combine that with a raise for yourself + moving to an area with lower COL.
Most people (rightfully so) accuse me of being out of touch with the public whenever I use this chain of logic but I'll do it anyway.
If I look around me, I only know a few people who are divorced. The divorce rate among people that I know (through work, church, college friends, etc.) is well under 10%. In fact, it's probably under 5%. But I do have a few things that are probably somewhat different from the general public:
1) I'll start with the touchiest and most controversial section. I am Asian. I think Asians typically don't get divorced as often as non-Asians. Out of my Asian/Asian couples, I can only think of 2 friends that are divorced out of about 200 couples. Out of my Asian/White friend couples, I only know about 10 of them but only 3 are not divorced (7 are divorced). I know many more Asians than non-Asians though.
2) I work in tech which includes mostly white folks but a high number of Asians and Indians. The education level is also very high. Income levels are also pretty high. Not many folks are divorced in my workplace.
3) I went to a decent college so education level is also above average. I also went to Business School at what most people believe is a "top 3" business school in the country (although I would admit that it's #3 out of that top 3). Education among my friends outside of work tends to be pretty high.
4) This is not to say that my friends, race, etc. result in happier couples. I actually think the mindset is what is different. Every couple has issues and problems but some couples don't consider divorce as an actual option except in really extenuating circumstances (violence, etc.) while some couples consider divorce every after argument.
So maybe there are pockets of circles out there where the divorce rate is more like 90% to make up for my 10% but I still doubt it. I say that they should compute the divorce rate by counting the # of people who have been divorced vs married because I think many folks who get divorced once get divorced twice (sort of like bankruptcy...most who claim once, claim twice, etc.).
OP, basically it's not great to be coupled up with a spender. And there are relationships where one is a saver and the other is a spender. Those usually don't have a happy ending.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
