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What is with all the concerns about dating? I had little troubles swinging it when I was a grad student making <20k. My first date with my now wife cost $8. We did a lot of cooking at home and free events.
I think there's a huge difference dating when you are still in college/graduated vs being in your late 30's as the OP has said. Different expectations in later life. Women expect or should expect you to have your finances in order at that stage in your life.
Not all women care about finances but the majority do. Men can usually get away with being cheap on the first few dates but activities eventually cost more into the relationship. Free or cheap stuff to do gets irritating to most women if you do it all the time.
I think there's a huge difference dating when you are still in college/graduated vs being in your late 30's as the OP has said. Different expectations in later life. Women expect or should expect you to have your finances in order at that stage in your life.
Not all women care about finances but the majority do. Men can usually get away with being cheap on the first few dates but activities eventually cost more into the relationship. Free or cheap stuff to do gets irritating to most women if you do it all the time.
First paragraph I generally agree with (we started dating in our late 20's...so perhaps somewhere between those two). I suppose it does matter what level of "not in order" we are talking about too....someone in abject poverty will certainly have a hard time with dating (and many other things). I don't have enough information to know exactly how dire the OP's circumstances are at present.
Second paragraph I disagree with - I think its more stereotype than fact. That might be the case in your social circle, but it certainly doesn't seem to be the case in mine. And mine is comprised largely of highly educated professionals, so its not like they're all poverty-stricken with low expectations. I think women generally want men who are responsible and successful, but that doesn't mean spendthrifts (in many cases it can mean the opposite). I've always maintained that if someone is relying on the price of the dinner or the fanciness of the event to make a date successful, they've got the wrong idea in the first place
Anyways - I'm obviously not my intent to push someone into dating if they don't want to. It just struck me as odd that it became a topic of focus. I don't think it needs to be that expensive, I think learning to have fun in inexpensive ways is a very useful skill to hone and I think any woman who judges dates by the amount spent is not worth dating.
The types of women the OP can date are the following :
- those who don't mind being the breadwinner and picking up the tab the majority of time
- frugal and don't like to spend money
- introverts that want to spend most nights at home watching Netflix
- recently graduated students who have big loans and feel uncomfortable spending money
- working broke females who want to save money
There are females like that who exist but good luck finding them.
That's encouraging - you can have a roof over your head, or you can date. Oh wait, if you don't have a roof over your head, you're probably not gonna date either.
Does your landlord have any other female (or whatever your preference is) renters that you can date? Does he/she allow "visitors." Where there's a will, there's a way. Why anyone would want to date someone who doesn't want to improve themselves is beyond, me, but maybe you can find a "mini-me" type. Hey, be optimistic!!
Does your landlord have any other female (or whatever your preference is) renters that you can date? Does he/she allow "visitors." Where there's a will, there's a way. Why anyone would want to date someone who doesn't want to improve themselves is beyond, me, but maybe you can find a "mini-me" type. Hey, be optimistic!!
Ans that's what I am doing, improving my financial situation which is why I am not dating.
Hello, I just looked at the thread today, and wanted to comment to the OP, but haven't had the time to slosh through the six or whatever pages so far, so this may have been said already, but anyways....
My method of budgeting has worked like a charm for me for nearly three decades. I get paid once every two weeks. So I use a calculation using a two paycheck per month assumption. So if my rent was one thousand a month, lets say, I'll "write off" 500.00 in my check register every time I get paid. I use red ink to distinguish such an entry. So my "balance" will not include the 500.00 set aside for rent.
Of course, to make this system work, you really don't touch that 500 until rent day.
A bit of a bonus to this system, is the occasional month when you get three paychecks. (26 paychecks a year if paid every other week). So that is a party month, or a chance to really put some money away!
What is with all the concerns about dating? I had little troubles swinging it when I was a grad student making <20k. My first date with my now wife cost $8. We did a lot of cooking at home and free events.
A spoiled princess who measures love by the price of the steak dinners she gets is generally not someone I'd be interested in dating anyways.
I'm a foodie and love going out - we do it much more frequently now that we are earning significantly more. It's pretty easy to have fun without spending tons of money.
In 1957 an 8 dollar date was an extremely expensive one.
Hello, I just looked at the thread today, and wanted to comment to the OP, but haven't had the time to slosh through the six or whatever pages so far, so this may have been said already, but anyways....
My method of budgeting has worked like a charm for me for nearly three decades. I get paid once every two weeks. So I use a calculation using a two paycheck per month assumption. So if my rent was one thousand a month, lets say, I'll "write off" 500.00 in my check register every time I get paid. I use red ink to distinguish such an entry. So my "balance" will not include the 500.00 set aside for rent.
Of course, to make this system work, you really don't touch that 500 until rent day.
A bit of a bonus to this system, is the occasional month when you get three paychecks. (26 paychecks a year if paid every other week). So that is a party month, or a chance to really put some money away!
Not much of a party month for me this month even though I have 3 pays, 9/2, 9/16, and 9/30. The 9/2 check was for the september rent and the 9/30 check will be for the October rent. My party month is not until December because I get paid on 12/8 and 12/22. That means that since the December's rent will have already been paid with the last check of November(11/25), I won't have to pay rent anymore until the first check I get in January which will be 1/6. So that means the 12/8 and 12/22 check will be for me to save a huge chunk of money since no rent has to come out of either check. January's rent will be paid with the 1/6 check.
I get months like this twice a year. I won't have another month like that where I don't have to pay rent until June of 2017
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