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I agree with you, OP, that this is an issue. I would resign if I were you, if she's not willing to have immediate settlement and distribution. It's just too much to ask of someone, is the bottom line.
That's the same advice my smart dad gave me. You guys are probably both right. lol (I may have gotten myself into more than I'll want.) I know though how much peace of mind my willingness to do this is giving my aunt (my dad's sister by the way).
At least it's not like I'm someone's guardian. My mom (now deceased) took on that role for one of our relatives, kept me up to date on that and what was involved as possibly a successor guardian. That's off the plate now and not something we are involved in. I know it's a lot of responsibility, but compared to that and all that is involved there, this doesn't look that bad.
But you are a guardian—the guardian of the trust, which may have a life expectancy as long as 30 years. And someone needs to run the numbers for aunt, so she realizes how much her stipulations will cost her beneficiaries. I don’t know what state she’s in, but her trust is not only liable for federal taxes, but could be liable for state taxes too.
Depending on how she sees things, she may not care that what could turn out to be the key beneficiary of her trust is the IRS, because she insisted on those drawn out bequests.
Hello,
My aunt who I'm very close to and is a savvy senior unfortunately has stage four cancer and is entering hospice. She's very much an organized advanced planner like me and has amended her trust and made me executor of her estate, trustee of her trust upon her passing, as well as named me as her power of attorney for financial situations and medical decisions is she can't act for herself.
She has lovely step daughter who is six years younger than me as an alternate for everything and her step son (nice guy, but I haven't seen him in ages) as the third alternate for everything who is seven years younger than me.
First let me say that I really appreciate how organized she's been in everything and I more than anything, of course, at this time am most concerned about her well being and comfort. I will say that the trust and her wishes are straight forward, not overly complicated except perhaps for the timelines for asset distribution to three people. Her son who is 57 will be getting distributions of financial assets in five increments, the last that isn't reached till 16 years after her death. Her grandson who is 22 will be getting financial assets in five distributions also, the last which is not until 20 years after her death. And her granddaughter who is a minor will also be getting incremental distributions of financial assets, the last which won't be till she is 42.
I'm 63 by the way and she is 83. If my aunt passes away next year let's say, I would be 80, 84, and 92 respectively before my trustee duties are complete for these three beneficiaries. You never know what life brings. We do have longevity in our family and it's very likely if I am as fortunate as older relations of mine that I will competent and capable for doing this at 80 and 84, but I think there is a big possibility that me and successor trustees might not up for doing this or be around - especially for doing distributions for her minor granddaughter. What recommendations do you have for me? Might I be able to get a bank with a trustee department named as a third alternate. I would prefer not to burden my aunt with this, at this point, but this long distribution cycle I think is an issue. Do you think I should recommend she contact her attorney again and have a bank with a good trust department listed as a third alternate now - that would probably be easier for her to do now vs. me getting some kind of amendment. But gosh she's going thru a lot know and it seems like a petty thing in the grand scheme of things. She wants to provide some financial help for this group, but thinks they would blow the money so wants to hold a lot of it back. There is no one in the generation after mine that she thinks has the financial savvy and that she trusts implicitly to name that she is close to.
My own estate is a lot simpler than this.
1. You should politely bow out.
2. There is every chance this will be more work and much more grief than you think.
3. The very last thing she should do is hire a bank or trust department or law firm to manage her estate.
3.1. An old friend, now dead sadly, was a CPA who over time managed a number of estates and trusts.
4. Given what you wrote the best candidate IMO is the daughter.
I'm shocked that you are shocked. Did you think they would do it for free?
Your point is a good one. However, having timed out of a bank board position Jan. 1...........the first time I saw the trust dept's. fee structure I was shocked that anyone would agree.
I think the cheaper thing to do is just buy annuities for the 3 people and call it a day.
Otherwise financial/legal management is going to cost an arm and a leg.
I have a much younger friend who agreed to handle my stuff; but, I am giving her a chunk of change for it. I think it is dreadful that you are not getting a 25% cut of the action here. Not worth the time and effort and potential liability in dealing with this. I have younger nieces and a nephew who is a high paid attorney. But, like, I am having my friend do it who is local to spare my family the work and frustration of the situation. They can have whatever accounts are left and I do not expect them to do any heavy lifting. My friend asked me why even have any go to my nephew he is so loaded? Why we are friends is she is so damn honest and will tell me the truth and can take a secret to her grave... Well, I said, it's what would go to my brother if he is alive and I am dead (which is unlikely due to the huge age gap) and it is just an acknowledgement more than anything. If he wants he can give it to charity and take a deduction. My friend will do all the work (and get a very nice payoff). My family does not need a nice payoff. But, also, my friend is doing it to help me out. Plus she will be there to consult with me as I age and need to make decisions (because I almost do not trust another living soul as much as I trust her).
Last edited by Wile E. Coyote; 10-29-2023 at 11:34 PM..
Personally I'm not a big fan on annuities, but I know my aunt owns some, and I think for this situation that could be a great solution for this situation. Maybe a 20% distribution could be made upon her death and annuities could be purchased with the rest of the monies for her son and grandson who is an adult. For her minor granddaughter, I know my aunt doesn't want the parents to be able to touch the monies, so for her my aunt doesn't want distributions till she is 22. Maybe the monies could be in trust, she could get a 20 % distribution at 22, and an annuity could also be purchased at that time. There are still the taxes, etc. on that, but this would shorten the distribution period and my involvement considerably. Other thoughts for the grand-daughter that would meet my aunt's wishes??
I have to say how much I appreciate you and others posting (all your brainstorming). I'm delighted to get some ideas of where to start and what options I might want to discuss with my aunt and then my aunt and her attorney for a quick trust modification.
The company that I work for thru our Employee Assistant Program offers attorney referrals and a free 1/2 hour consultation. It's not like I want to get anyone except for my aunt's attorney involved for a quick trust modification, but I'm thinking I go for a free 1/2 consultation with an estate planning attorney just to run some of the ideas you've presented me by that attorney for their thoughts before talking to my aunt too.
The OP is a wonderful person for taking on this role, I asked a few of my relatives to be the executor of my simple will and they refused. I was going to name anyone who agreed to it as beneficiary of a $25,000 insurance policy for helping me, but I didn't mention it, I wanted to see who would do it out of the goodness of their heart. Now my estate attorney is my executor, and I don't care how much he gets from my estate.
As far as keeping the inheritance away from the granddaughter until she is 22 to keep the money from her parents, there is nothing to stop her from giving her parents some money from the estate when she reaches that age. What if her granddaughter needs the money for college before she reaches 22? I think the OP can control where the money goes as a trustee (like to a college), not sure.
Appreciate all of your thoughts/input. You've given me a lot to consider.
Kathy, just some words of encouragement from someone who has a lot of family executor experience. I'm reading the comments from posters telling you to "bow out" and "decline politely" but I hear the love and care in your words and relate. When doing something like this for family it's not just a calculation about how much time and effort is involved.
I'm currently helping out a cousin who was left holding the bag of a huge tangle of estate headaches when he lost three family members over less than two years. I'm not in any of the wills but am stepping in because I loved this family and would do anything to help out. The work is relatively easy for me--it's in my wheelhouse and sort of fun, puzzle-solving kind of thing--and I have the time and space to devote to it. So I hear you and appreciate your big heart.
The timeline concern you express is real but I'm sure you will find a solution. I imagine that once your aunt passes and you become trustee there is an ability for you to name additional successor trustees yourself. Certainly you might want to discuss changing the terms with her now but if she is adamant about the timeline there is always a way to make it work. My uncle was the beneficiary of a trust that had helped several generations of his family and was managed by a small law firm in their hometown in Connecticut. When he passed the beneficiary shifted to another line in the same family, something the original bequest had originally set up more than 80 years ago. There had been several changes in Trustee during that time, finally landing with the law firm. The corpus of that trust is "only" now about $2M but it meant everything to my uncle while he was alive, paying for his healthcare needs his whole life.
You are doing your aunt a kindness and bringing peace to her when she needs it. I know what it's like to be that trusted family member and believe me, even if they don't express it in words they appreciate if deeply and wholeheartedly. You are a good person.
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