U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:06 PM
 
14,065 posts, read 14,169,052 times
Reputation: 17516

Advertisements

Why do some men and women have an expectation that sex should occur early in a dating relationship (e.g. a few dates or a few months max), yet they're more likely to feel the need to date a few years before considering marriage?

I personally don't appreciate being expected to share my body with someone who I barely know (like after a few weeks or months), yet most reasonable people wouldn't expect to get engaged or married after knowing someone for such a short time. So why am I considered a prude for not wanting sex early?
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:08 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
38,727 posts, read 29,129,078 times
Reputation: 36261
Because sex is needed to determine if there is any potential for a connection / LTR and marriage is decided after you know you want to be with someone for a long time/life, and there is a considerable gap between those two points. One is a beginning, the second is a new beginning.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:11 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
87,835 posts, read 81,589,805 times
Reputation: 91684
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Why do some men and women have an expectation that sex should occur early in a dating relationship (e.g. a few dates or a few months max), yet they're more likely to feel the need to date a few years before considering marriage?

I personally don't appreciate being expected to share my body with someone who I barely know (like after a few weeks or months), yet most reasonable people wouldn't expect to get engaged or married after knowing someone for such a short time. So why am I considered a prude for not wanting sex early?
Who told you you were a prude?

Sex "should" happen when people are motivated for it to happen. When they feel they know each other enough and care about each other enough for it to happen. If someone's in a hurry for it to happen, and you're not, then it's not a good match, and you move on.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,762 posts, read 47,305,940 times
Reputation: 25254
You don't have to have it right away. You can sense when it's right.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:12 PM
 
168 posts, read 313,484 times
Reputation: 276
Sex is a very important part to a happy and healthy marriage, though not the only important part. Communication and mutual respect are also needed.

Sure, you could marry someone without knowing if there is any real chemistry, and hope that you can just work on it over time, but to be honest, it will probably add more stress and complications in the marriage if the sex is bad from the start. I'm all for waiting until you're married, if that's what you want to do. But there is a reason we try on clothes and shoes before buying them. It sucks to buy them and then have to return them later because they didn't fit right...
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:13 PM
 
14,065 posts, read 14,169,052 times
Reputation: 17516
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Because sex is needed to determine if there is any potential for a connection / LTR and marriage is decided after you know you want to be with someone for a long time/life, and there is a considerable gap between those two points. One is a beginning, the second is a new beginning.
If that's the case, how did people fall for each other and got engaged without having sex first in the past?
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:15 PM
 
Location: SoCal
5,902 posts, read 4,979,823 times
Reputation: 1930
@The OP: Frankly, I am tempted to say that I agree with you on this. Honestly, I myself am extremely hesitant to have sex with someone before marriage and/or outside of marriage.

Also, honestly, I myself don't think that a marriage should be purely about romance. It should also be about having a very close friendship and about creating a better financial situation for oneself.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:16 PM
 
14,065 posts, read 14,169,052 times
Reputation: 17516
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrscandles View Post
Sex is a very important part to a happy and healthy marriage, though not the only important part. Communication and mutual respect are also needed.

Sure, you could marry someone without knowing if there is any real chemistry, and hope that you can just work on it over time, but to be honest, it will probably add more stress and complications in the marriage if the sex is bad from the start. I'm all for waiting until you're married, if that's what you want to do. But there is a reason we try on clothes and shoes before buying them. It sucks to buy them and then have to return them later because they didn't fit right...
I'm not waiting for marriage. I just don't like feeling like I'm expected to have sex with someone within the first few weeks/months of knowing them. I think it's a reasonable expectation after maybe 3-6 months.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:16 PM
 
7,222 posts, read 6,069,039 times
Reputation: 12241
Some people just find sex an enjoyable activity on its own and not necessarily a pre-cursor to marriage. Find someone whose beliefs are compatible with yours and don't worry about when other people have sex.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-13-2014, 01:17 PM
 
Location: SoCal
5,902 posts, read 4,979,823 times
Reputation: 1930
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
If that's the case, how did people fall for each other and got engaged without having sex first in the past?
I think that timberline742 is making a hasty generalization in his post here.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top