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To hindsight: pay attention to what NYSinger just said. Unless you have a pre-nup that also stipulates that $$ after marriage is legally separate, you could be in for a rude awakening. I don't know why so many people think that just keeping money in separate accounts frees them of responsibility from their spouses debt.
You also need to get your butt to a lawyer and find out what the marital property laws are in your state. You might be unpleasantly surprised there too. Again, stashing money in 2 different accounts is not the same thing as having legally separate property.
Finally, you need to be REALLY careful about marrying this woman without a pre-nup. If she can't / won't control her consumer spending now, what makes you think she'll do it later?? Just bearing children will not suddenly somehow make her fiscally responsible!
We have separate accounts and are both comfortable with that. I pay most of the bills and we've used his salary to make big payments on our mortgage and actually got it paid off in 9 years. Now we're using his money to save so that we can start buying everything--cars, home improvements, etc.--with cash. It works for us and we've never had a fight about money.
Put all income into an account at the bank or the credit union. She pays the bills. I monitor checking acount when I withdraw cash. I also keep an account for all spending. Worked for the last 40 years.
If you cannot trust your spouse with your money I suggest you never marry. Ever!
If you cannot trust your spouse with your money I suggest you never marry. Ever!
Exactly. I think that you have to be on the same page when it comes to money. As others have said, money is a big reason that couples break up. When BF and I get engaged, we will do the percentage split thing (when we move in together). We wil transition into combined finances after the wedding. Each of us will get a certain amount of money to play with. My BF and I have discussed this and he is fine with it.
You do know that any debt acquired during your marriage is going to be your debt, right? If she has credit card debt and can't pay it off, creditors will come after you.
The only way creditors could do this is if the credit debt is in both names.
The actually bill would have to come to both Mary & John Smith.
Credit debt that is her name only is her debt.
In a divorce the judge can "order" another spouse to pay debt that is not in their name, however the creditors don't care and can't enforce it. The only person they can go after is the one who's name is on the account.
I was in the credit card industry for many many years and I can't tell you how many calls we would get from spouses that would say " the Judge said he had to pay" and he wasn't. Especially with joint accounts if there are 2 names they are going to go after both.
Credit card companies are not bound by Judges orders, so the only option they had was to go back to the Divorce court or depending on the amount file a small claims case.
Another thing to keep in mind, if you are not comfortable in your spouses "spending" do not put them on a card as an "authorized user".
This gives them all of the benefits of the card with no responsibility from the creditors stand point.
We are a two income couple with no kids (a little past that stage now anyway).
He has his own checking account and I have mine. Both names are on the accounts in case something happens to one of us but otherwise we never touch them.
Every month, he transfers 1/2 of the cost of the house bills (rent, gas, cable, electric, phone, medical) from my account to his and then pays everything. I pay my own credit card bills out of my checking account and he pays his.
Whoever is out and about picks up a bag of groceries. We don't track who pays more for food items. We go out to dinner at a very modest restaurant once a month (the check is never more than $40) and we take turns paying for dinner.
If he goes to a casino and wins $1k playing poker or whatever, that's his money. He can put it away for the next time he goes (maybe three times a year). If I do a side job for a couple hundred bucks, then that's my money.
It's worked out so well that there's nothing to fight about here. If you want to buy something you don't have to ask permission from the other person and if you want to buy something special for a holiday gift the other spouse won't see the bill with the price.
He makes more money than I do (about $8k a year) but I still pay my 50 percent of the bills. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I will say that if we had children we would pool everything, make a budget and do things that way. Like someone said earlier, it's all about what works best for the people involved.
We figured out our total joint bills, and then we figured out how much we made. Did he make 60% and I make 40%, or I make 70% and he make 30%? Then we split the bills along those lines.
For example, if total bills were $5000 a month, and she makes 60%, she'd put in $3000, and he'd put in 40%, or $2000. The rest was their "own" money.
Other dump all their money in one pot and call it a day. I've found that can cause arguments... he wants to buy a $200 pair of watch, and I want to buy a $200 purse and we both think the purchases are stupid... no fighting if we have our "own" money.
Or, you each get XX amount of spending money, and everything else gets lumped together.
We have very different spending habits in that I'm frugal and conservative, she has a tendency to splurge on consumer goods (clothing etc). Her credit is not good, mine is.
This spells out trouble if you were ever to loose your job. Liking nice things is one thing but spending more that you have is another. If you plan to have children she may transfer this behavior to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hindsight2020
Since we have no expectation of acquiring financing for things like cars or houses based on two incomes.
If I had a nickel for every time I said "I'd never ..."
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmobizmo
At least I won't have to worry about him dumping me and skipping town with all of my savings because it's in my account.
It never occurred to me to think that about my hubby.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GregW
Put all income into an account at the bank or the credit union. She pays the bills. I monitor checking acount when I withdraw cash. I also keep an account for all spending. Worked for the last 40 years.
If you cannot trust your spouse with your money I suggest you never marry. Ever!
I agree. On our honeymoon my hubby said to me "don't unplug". I did not get it until he told not to pull the plug on him. He is right I am now the person that can make that type of decisions. If I trust him with my life I definitively trust him with money and vice versa.
The way we have it is that I handle all the money stuff because as he put it "he would rather have his teeth pulled that go through all ours statements". I have everything in Quicken and I match all the receipts to the statements.
I am a SAHM so I have no income right now. I couldn't imagine having my hubby say that since he makes the money it's his money. Nope. It is our money.
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