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Old 08-05-2007, 08:02 AM
 
647 posts, read 3,342,911 times
Reputation: 254

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Quote:
Originally Posted by topjimmy View Post
Hmmm, the divorce rate in this country is 60%.

They already have a child out of wedlock, and have to move to another state (probably his home state) to get married.

That is NOT a strong way to start a marriage. I am just being realistic. Wait a couple years and see what happens.
A high divorce rate and having children before marriage do not guarantee a doomed marriage.

While I probably would not leave my own happy life, friends and job behind to move somewhere (unless it was to the beach ) with my kids, that doesn't mean it won't work out for this person. If the choice presented itself to me, I'd base my decision not on the potential for divorce b/c you can't make decisions based on what might happen - I could give them a couple years to see what happens, move out there, and they could divorce a year later. Who knows what'll happen. Rather, I'd base my decision on what was more important to me - continuing on with my own life and making frequent visits to visit my daughter, or creating a new life close to her.
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Old 08-05-2007, 09:29 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
4,468 posts, read 10,626,835 times
Reputation: 4245
If your daughter and her hubby want you closer to them, would it work if you moved to Detroit? A compromise, perhaps - looks like it's about a 4 hour drive from where they'd be, and sounds like you'd have a better chance at getting work there.

Personally, I think your daughter should read some posts on the MI board, and posts on other boards from MI folks who left, before she packs up and goes there.
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Old 08-06-2007, 01:31 AM
 
Location: Tempe and Payson
1,216 posts, read 3,032,258 times
Reputation: 1707
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bummer View Post
OUCH, Crystalys!

I always assumed "asking for advice" warranted opinions . . . positive or negative!


I was not trying to be hurtful. And I repeat....the advice being asked for was about moving to MI....not about if the marriage will last or not.
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Old 08-06-2007, 04:06 AM
 
8,954 posts, read 4,275,172 times
Quote:
Originally Posted by crystalys View Post
the advice being asked for was about moving to MI....not about if the marriage will last or not.
Agreed. Stick to the topic, please.
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Old 08-06-2007, 07:14 AM
 
3,886 posts, read 10,088,922 times
Reputation: 1486
I would wait a year. Not because of a chance of marriage problems but because they might get there and not like it. Then your just moving back here. If your daughter is like mine she probably wants you to follow her everywhere, but, she will be fine calling you weekly, or daily, and its expensive to move. You might be saving your money to get her back here when she doesn't like it. Besides, nothing like a year together alone to make or break a relationship. It might make them stronger. It might make her run home, but if the later is true, she will need a home to run to, not have you there with her wanting to leave a yucky place. In a year you'll know, she'll either love it or hate it, then it's a safe move for you.
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Old 08-06-2007, 07:38 AM
 
Location: Arizona, The American Southwest
54,498 posts, read 33,889,311 times
Reputation: 91679
Not to tear down the person who created this thread, but I've always wondered why some people seek advice about moving and other important things from people they don't know on the forums.. I know important decisions like this should be made by the individual to best suit their needs and goals in life. There's nothing wrong with asking for advice on forums, but I hope these decisions are made solely by the individuals, based on how THEY feel, without being influenced by what others tell them on forums.
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Old 08-06-2007, 08:08 AM
 
Location: Oxygen Ln. AZ
9,319 posts, read 18,763,880 times
Reputation: 5764
PhxGal07 we are facing a similar dilema in our family. Both our daughters moved here with us after graduating from college. One got married and both are busy working for a large builder here. They often mention transfers to new developments out of state, but are not sure which state and if they would both go. Looks like my chicks are leaving the nest. We have decided to stay put, be a home base for them to come and visit. If we move to a new strange area and they relocate for yet another job, then we are stuck in a strange new place without family. Just food for thought.
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Old 08-07-2007, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
26 posts, read 104,449 times
Reputation: 29
Thank you all for your thoughts. I have made my decision to stay put. I did a lot of research plus considering opinions and knowledge of the state, I definitely think it is not wise to move. I think my daughter may not make the move after I gave her all the facts. Plus, they may move there and then pick up and go somewhere else and I'd be stuck. I DO MISS BROOKLYN THOUGH! SOMEONE STOP ME FROM WANTING TO MOVE BACK HOME TO BROOKLY (Brooklyn Blues come and go)!!!
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Old 08-08-2007, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Arizona
124 posts, read 413,747 times
Reputation: 31
Sounds like you made a good decision phxgal07 I wouldnt pack up and leave just cause your daughter is you can always visit your grandson. If you are happy here that is all that matters think of yourself and where you are happy and then your daughter will be happy for you, Who knows maybe youll all end up in Brooklyn
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Old 08-09-2007, 01:28 AM
 
Location: In Phoenix by way of San Antonio
1,692 posts, read 3,130,514 times
Reputation: 1257
goto Michigan..2 of brothers where born there...my parents lived there for a number of years...Detroit..and Kalimazoo...and o yeah home of the Michigan Wolverines....take pics and send plz...lol
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