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How do you explain your beliefs to someone when they feel different than you? My boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 years. Recently his 18 year old daughter moved in with us because things didnt work out with her boyfriend. A month later, she finds out shes pregnant. My boyfriend tells that she needs to consider an abortion because he doesnt want to raise another child, and she certainly cant either. She already has a 2 year old that she can barely care for. Well she ended up making an appointment at a clinic but it ends up that my boyfriend has to take her because no one else will. He said he doesnt want to but he will so it gets done. He asked me to go with him and of course I said I cant..come to find out now, shes taking the abortion pill and will be aborting the embryo at home. How do I explain that I cant be around that? What its going to come down to is either she goes somewhere else to do it or Im going to have to leave for like 2 days until its complete. Either way, Im going to look like the fool because Im the one making an issue about it. Should I really have to be put in this situation without even being talked to about it and how I feel?
How do you explain your beliefs to someone when they feel different than you? My boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 years. Recently his 18 year old daughter moved in with us because things didnt work out with her boyfriend. A month later, she finds out shes pregnant. My boyfriend tells that she needs to consider an abortion because he doesnt want to raise another child, and she certainly cant either. She already has a 2 year old that she can barely care for. Well she ended up making an appointment at a clinic but it ends up that my boyfriend has to take her because no one else will. He said he doesnt want to but he will so it gets done. He asked me to go with him and of course I said I cant..come to find out now, shes taking the abortion pill and will be aborting the embryo at home. How do I explain that I cant be around that? What its going to come down to is either she goes somewhere else to do it or Im going to have to leave for like 2 days until its complete. Either way, Im going to look like the fool because Im the one making an issue about it. Should I really have to be put in this situation without even being talked to about it and how I feel?
No he should have asked you what you thought about being there. He is assuming you think like him which is an issue in most relationships.
I would say that you can either tolerate it or as you said step out for a few days. It seems as if they both have their minds made up enough to follow through with the pill. I would suggest that your voice have an equal say so if anything like this ever happens again. It wasn't right to simply assume you were on board but when a traumatic event comes along people are often reactive than proactive.
I'm sure it’s a big deal to you but it is her body and it is also a big deal to her, a choice she (and your boy friend) will have to live with.
Sorry, I should've made myself clear...I'm anti-abortion. I understand that it their choice on what they are doing, but I should'nt have to be dealing with it in my own home...that's what hospitals and clinics are for.
All I can say is pack your bags and leave for two or three days. This is between him and his daughter. She has the right to abort at home. You have the right to stay for it or leave. Choice is yours.
Sorry, I should've made myself clear...I'm anti-abortion. I understand that it their choice on what they are doing, but I should'nt have to be dealing with it in my own home...that's what hospitals and clinics are for.
Your boyfriend knows how you feel about abortion and is having his daughter abort in your home, in spite of your feelings?
I should also say that she doesn't permanently live here....she's only staying with us temporarily until she finds a place. All of her stuff is in storage and she only has clothes here for herself and son.
Ray1945....I don't think he knows what exactly happens when you take the abortion pill. I was there when she explained it to him and she made it sound like all you do is take a pill and you expel it. Basically sounding like something similar to having a bowel movement. So to him, it sounds like no big deal.
ultimately what you decide is up to you, but if it were my house, the SO being the one living with me, not the other way around, i would put my foot down and tell them this needs to be done in a hospital or clinic.
if i were the one living in the SO's house, i would tell them i cant stay while this happens, and move out for a few days to a week. if the SO gets upset at my views, then so be it, i would remind them that while i cant stop the abortion, i dont have to be around when it happens.
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