Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There have been several cases of a married couple having children. The husband finds out his wife has been cheating on him and he files for divorce. While doing this he also has DNA test performed on the child/children and discover they are not his biological children. Didn't matter to the judge and the judge ordered him to pay child support to someone elses biological children because he had been their father all this time.
In my case, my ex-wife and I get along well. Probably because we live in separate states. When I was out of work and looking for a job I called her right away to let her know the situation so she could begin to budget her income until I found a job. During this time the court called her wanting to know where I was and wanted to arrest me. She told them she didn't want them to arrest me because I can't find a job from jail. They made her sign papers requesting they don't arrest me. Within a month I found a job and repaid my missed payments. This August will be my last payment. By their state law, the payments end when she graduates high school or her 18th birthday, whichever comes first. Her graduation comes first but I choose to continue until her 18th birthday. My cousin just made his last payment and in that relationship it was the wife who was the problem. She cheated on him which caused the divorce. After the divorce she continued with harassing phone calls at all hours of the day and night and used her son to get information on him when the son went on his visitation day. She then tried to take him to court for more money based upon my cousin and his wife's combined income. He went to court with phone records. Judge ordered my cousin to pay a little more based upon HIS (not his wife's added) current income, he could claim his son on his taxes, and he didn't have to provide health insurance for the son. The ex-wife could no longer claim the son on her taxes, had to provide health insurance for the son, and if she continued the harassing phone calls she'd be in jail. Because of her vendictive behavior, she lost money. At the time she cheated on my cousin they lived in a mobile home. She cheated on him with a bodybuilder. At the time of the second time in court, my cousin was running an auto glass repair shop and had just finish having a new home built.
Some of those men who killed to avoid child support may not have been the abusers some are making them out to be. No one can ever know how they'll respond to a situation until they've gone through it themselves and none of us know exactly what they were going through. Were they being harassed by the ex? Was her family also involved in the harassment? Were there lovers involved? I've seen some pretty nasty divorces in which some easy going nice guys went to hell in a handbasket and snapped in one way or another. Then again, some guys are animals. Remember the pro-football player who tried to kill a pregnant girlfriend and the baby she was carrying? This isn't new.
A recent news report stated that the number of women being murdered by dead-beat-dad to avoid paying or avoiding child support payments is on the increase; and has been increasing steadily each year. The report said many of these dead-beat-dads saw murder as the only out.
Is there a flaw in the system? Is forced child support payments causing more harm than good? Could this turn into uncontrolled murders in U.S. cities, such as in other third world countries? Should Child Support laws be changed or for that matter, abolished altogether? Is it time for this issue to be addressed by congress before it gets worse?
What is your opinion?
Let them off the hook for the responsibility they CHOSE or they'll murder someone????
NOPE! Do you really think abolishing FAIR laws will stop men from killing women....again , NOPE!
A recent news report stated that the number of women being murdered by dead-beat-dad to avoid paying or avoiding child support payments is on the increase; and has been increasing steadily each year. The report said many of these dead-beat-dads saw murder as the only out.
Is there a flaw in the system? Is forced child support payments causing more harm than good? Could this turn into uncontrolled murders in U.S. cities, such as in other third world countries? Should Child Support laws be changed or for that matter, abolished altogether? Is it time for this issue to be addressed by congress before it gets worse?
What is your opinion?
We talked about a male roe v. wade a few years ago that would have prevented men from being drawn into fatherhood when they had no intentions of fathering a child or staying in a long-term relationship. It predictably went nowhere since females control all elections in this country. The connection between your story and the record number of single mothers cannot be overlooked. A number of men in this country have concluded that marriage and/or fatherhood is a great way to give another person legal permission to do as they please with your future income and are avoiding both. I have personally stayed out of this situation, but a lot of other well meaning men have not. I can't tell you how many men I've worked with over the years who work all the overtime they can get and still live in poverty because they were too trusting of women. These women have taken advantage of the biased courts to make men virtual slaves by stealing their children and holding them for ransom (child support). Congress has no ability to correct this problem because the people who like the present system (females) are the majority of the population. All I can say to men who do not want to end up in this situation is don't take her word about being on birth control pills. If she wants to have a child, she may not necessarily want a husband, and if she wants a husband it may not be you. She gets the money in any case, and she can do whatever she wants. Having said that, marriage as an institution still provides the best situation for the children, but divorce courts don't understand that and don't care either. As long as the transfer of money takes place they couldn't care about what the children become.
Last edited by DIDIWHOHAH; 04-24-2009 at 09:05 PM..
We talked about a male roe v. wade a few years ago that would have protected men from being drawn into fatherhood when they had no intentions of fathering a child or staying in a long-term relationship. It predictably went nowhere since females control all elections in this country. The connection between your story and the record number of single mothers cannot be overlooked. Men in this country have concluded that marriage and/or fatherhood is a great way to give another person legal permission to do as they please with your future income and are avoiding both. I have personally stayed out of this trap, but a lot of other men have not. I can't tell you how many men I've worked with over the years who work all the overtime they can get and still live in poverty because they were too trusting of women. These women have taken advantage of the biased courts to make men virtual slaves by stealing their children and holding them for ransom (child support). Congress has no ability to correct this problem because the people who like the present system (females) are the majority of the population. All I can say to men who do not want to end up in this situation is don't take her word about being on birth control pills. If she wants to have a child, she may not necessarily want a husband, and if she wants a husband it may not be you. She gets the money in any case, and she can do whatever she wants. Having said that, marriage as an institution still provided the best situation for the children, but divorce courts don't understand that and don't care either. As long as the transfer of money takes place they couldn't care about what the children become.
This is quite possibly the craziest post I've ever read on city-data, and that's saying something. But, of course, I would say that. I'm a woman who, by her very nature, is scary and out to get men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIDIWHOHAH
We talked about a male roe v. wade a few years ago that would have protected men from being drawn into fatherhood when they had no intentions of fathering a child or staying in a long-term relationship.
How laughable. If you want a 100% guarantee that heterosexual vaginal sex won't led to a child, then keep your d*** in your pants.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIDIWHOHAH
It predictably went nowhere since females control all elections in this country.
Wow. Talk about a persecution complex. Lucky for you that women exist; otherwise whom would you and your martyr male friends/colleagues/acquaintances have to blame your troubles on?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIDIWHOHAH
I have personally stayed out of this trap, but a lot of other men have not.
If this means that you haven't procreated, my thanks to God Almighty!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIDIWHOHAH
Congress has no ability to correct this problem because the people who like the present system (females) are the majority of the population.
How did you find out about our annual meetings where WE, the women of the US, get together to decide the fate our country and the little men that WE allow to live here?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIDIWHOHAH
All I can say to men who do not want to end up in this situation is don't take her word about being on birth control pills.
If a man did take a woman's word for it, he was acting irresponsibly. It's absolutely a man's own fault if he didn't take his own precautions when having sex. I suppose this is where the bitterness I'm reading in some of these posts is coming from. These men or men they know didn't take responsibility for their own person and their actions, and so they then blame the women, who may or may not have lied about being on birth control. It must be very frustrating to know that if they had just put condoms on, this wouldn't be happening. Oh well, we all have to learn personal responsibility somehow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIDIWHOHAH
These women have taken advantage of the biased courts to make men virtual slaves by stealing their children and holding them for ransom (child support).
I always love the part in the actual slave narratives when the male slave complains about not being able keep enough of his salary because he has to support his kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIDIWHOHAH
Having said that, marriage as an institution still provided the best situation for the children, but divorce courts don't understand that and don't care either.
Yeah, because divorce courts grant divorces. It's what they do.
Last edited by helenejen; 04-24-2009 at 09:44 PM..
When men have these kids,usually the relationship is going great.Its not their fault if the woman becomes a cheater or a bar hag or a alcholic drug addict.How is it acceptable for the court to take 55 percent of your income when you didnt even do anything wrong? How is a man who makes 8 dollars an hour supposed to live on 450.00 a month?Why do men kill and commit suicide over it?Maybe because it kills them to know all the money that they bust their butts for week after week,year after year,is being spent down at the local bar,or gambled at bingo or the local club,and even to buy things for their new boyfriends!!Dont judge us til you walked a mile in our shoes!
i can only speak as a second wife who has a husband that works very hard and pays his child support for his 2 kids from a previous marraige but is frustrated at the fact that 50% of his paychecks go to pay the child support when the kids go around with holes in their shoes, not enough food because the mother refuses to get a job, and spends all her time and money at the casinos with her boyfriend while leaving her oldest child from another relationship at home to take care of the kids!!! Now if that doesnt **** u off, what will???
One issue I didn't see mentioned in this thread, court ordered monthly support payments based on yearly averages that have left many a good fathers sitting in jail for no good reason.
Fathers working jobs that are very seasonal in nature such as air conditioning & heating techs for example earn the lions share of their yearly income during summer and winter months. Courts have shown very little sympathy in cases like this, especially with vindictive ex wives demanding payments in full or put him in jail.
No the laws do not force anyone to commit murder. That is an individuals decision.
That said. I will say the system does create or cause many men to become dead beat dads.
In my state for example and I am a victim of this myself. They will award child support with out regard to how the father is supposed to live.
In my case My ex got 1409.00 per month and that left me 945.00 a month to live on. I was told to go get a second job. Thats fine except then in 6 months when they take you back to court they now use the new income against you. I asked why doesn't she have to work 1 job? I was threatened with contempt is I said another word.
Add to this. We see them get all this money. But it sure doesn't seem like the kids see much of it.
I could forgive the lopsided payment if there was a little oversight to ensure the money was used as intended.
In my case my ex bought a piano, a new car and some new clothes for herself. LOL No one in that house plays piano.
The system is flawed but I can think of no easy fix.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
