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I'm not sure whether this is a political topic or not, and I'll probably have my masculinity and sexuality called into question, but here goes.
It really bothers me, whenever I read any stories about female teachers having sex with male students, that guys seem to simply give the male student a high-five for a job well done (especially if the teacher is hot) and move on. There's little concern for the emotional well-being of the young male student, who must have just had his "dream come true" and enjoyed it, a truly victimless crime.
Okay, look - I'm a dude. I had teachers (well, a couple at least) that I thought were hot. But there's a huge difference between a fantasy and reality. Additionally, in most cases, in order for a female teacher to sleep with a male student, she has to approve of it somehow. There are strict boundaries, and she's in the position of power. She can use intimidation, threats, and blackmail all that she wants. This may make the male student uncomfortable, but he's not "allowed" to feel this way because she's hot. A lot of these young men end up being messed up psychologically, and it's fairly obvious why.
That brings me to my second point. In society, girls are allowed to say no to sex for any reason, and nobody is going to question them at all. Guys, however, are expected to accept sex from a girl for any reason because we're all horn dogs or whatever. From what I can tell, the only reasons a guy could turn down an offer of sex from a girl are:
1. If he's already in a relationship.
2. If she is overweight or unattractive.
3. If she is known to have numerous or serious diseases.
4. If he's really religious.
5. If she's known to be exceptionally crazy.
Often times, only the first three reasons are valid. Otherwise, the guy in question is assumed to be gay or not a man.
But realistically, a lot of guys aren't really like that, looking to bang any decent looking girl on the street. I'm not making a value judgment of guys that decide to do that - there are many. But seriously, there is nothing wrong with a guy not wanting to have sex for whatever reason. We empower our girls to say "no," so why can't we empower our young men to be in charge of their decisions as well?
I agree that there is a huge double standard in terms of how "wrong" people perceive a male student to be with a female teacher vs. a male teacher with a female student to be. I also notice that it's true that many people assume a man could never be raped by a woman, especially one in power, because he would always want it. Of course this isn't true and woman-on-man rape is just as devastating as man-on-woman rape (or man-on-man and woman-on-woman rape).
I think people in general are pressured about sexuality. Females have to be sexy and attractive or they have no worth. Males have to prove their virility or they are ridiculed. Best to just shrug and live by your own values.
I agree with your assessment about males turning down sex. Saying no because the female is in a position of power over the guy is seen as weird because of course, the guy should WANT it to happen.
Female teachers who coerce male students are just as predatory as a male who does the same. No matter how "mature" a male student is or how much he seems to want it. Teachers who do this are taking advantage of their role in the younger person's life. Personally, after a day at work teaching, I can't even fathom wanting to spend time with my students outside of class, much less try to "have a relationship" with them.
Its a societal norm that men can be promiscuous. That's because it was standard for women to no relations till marriage. That was done to help with paternity fears.
We are still undergoing a societal shift of people not having children at all. Or having children only when wanted. The number of unwanted pregnancy is still very low compared to historical eras.
I'm not sure whether this is a political topic or not, and I'll probably have my masculinity and sexuality called into question, but here goes.
It really bothers me, whenever I read any stories about female teachers having sex with male students, that guys seem to simply give the male student a high-five for a job well done (especially if the teacher is hot) and move on. There's little concern for the emotional well-being of the young male student, who must have just had his "dream come true" and enjoyed it, a truly victimless crime.
Okay, look - I'm a dude. I had teachers (well, a couple at least) that I thought were hot. But there's a huge difference between a fantasy and reality. Additionally, in most cases, in order for a female teacher to sleep with a male student, she has to approve of it somehow. There are strict boundaries, and she's in the position of power. She can use intimidation, threats, and blackmail all that she wants. This may make the male student uncomfortable, but he's not "allowed" to feel this way because she's hot. A lot of these young men end up being messed up psychologically, and it's fairly obvious why.
That brings me to my second point. In society, girls are allowed to say no to sex for any reason, and nobody is going to question them at all. Guys, however, are expected to accept sex from a girl for any reason because we're all horn dogs or whatever. From what I can tell, the only reasons a guy could turn down an offer of sex from a girl are:
1. If he's already in a relationship.
2. If she is overweight or unattractive.
3. If she is known to have numerous or serious diseases.
4. If he's really religious.
5. If she's known to be exceptionally crazy.
Often times, only the first three reasons are valid. Otherwise, the guy in question is assumed to be gay or not a man.
But realistically, a lot of guys aren't really like that, looking to bang any decent looking girl on the street. I'm not making a value judgment of guys that decide to do that - there are many. But seriously, there is nothing wrong with a guy not wanting to have sex for whatever reason. We empower our girls to say "no," so why can't we empower our young men to be in charge of their decisions as well?
I was a female high school teacher for 37 years and got my share of male HS hotties making me offers that I had to keep refusing.
My work place for 27 years started out as a new HS with a young staff, so in the beginning, most of us were just a few years older than the oldest students. In all those years, I don't know of one female teacher taking advantage of a male student. I do know of a number of male teachers who fooled around with their female students - some with bad consequences, some with none at all. Two teachers married their female students and are still married to them 20+ years later.
A teacher, be they male or female, who has sex with a student, be they male or female, is a predator and belongs in jail. Period.
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