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The problem is that it was used by white folks as an oppressive word.
See, when you look at history and how the word was used before to demean and insult black folks, you'd see why it looks bad for a white person to use it.
Blacks took the word away, used it as a way to acknolage one another and changed the meaning. They confiscated the word. They took the verbal weapon away. I mean think of what a white racist in the 50s would think if you told him later generations would be AFRAID to use the word. Imagine you'd take him forward in time and show him how bad it would look to use it today? For him to know that his one tool of oppression was completely flipped? The rabbit has the gun now.
It's weird when white folks complain about not being able to use it. "I'm not racist but". Like why do you care? Just don't use it.
Perhaps it should not be taken to the offensive level that it's taken when white folks use it sometimes. But it's cringe worthy because it's out of place.
Funny thing though, is I got one white friend and around all my other black friends he'd casually use the word and it was no big deal to them. Guess it depends on how well you know the person. But I don't think it would slide with anyone else.
Repped.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astral_Weeks
Let it go OP. I am white...I assume you are too but correct me if I am wrong.
The simple answer is: if your Mom or Dad raised you right, you wouldn't need to even ask this question. But I understand not everyone is so lucky to be raised in this manner.
Ta-Nehisi Coates, a black writer/social critic, gave a very good explanation as to why white people should refrain from using the word even while blacks still use it.
Coates points out that it is normal in our culture for some people or groups to use certain words that others can’t. For example, his dad was known by his family back home as Billy — but it would be awkward for Coates to try to use that nickname for his father.
“That’s because the relationship between myself and my dad is not the same as the relationship between my dad and his mother and his sisters who he grew up with,” Coates said. “We understand that.”
The same concept applies to different groups and their words. “My wife, with her girl friend, will use the word ‘b-I-a-t-c-h,’” Coates said. “I do not join in. You know what I’m saying? I don’t do that. I don’t do that. And perhaps more importantly, I don’t have a desire to do it.”
Sorry I can't rep you right now, Astral_Weeks. I owe you one.
These are both great explanations that really should be common sense, but apparently are not. How black people deal with other black people who use the word is not my business. It is, to borrow the analogy from Coates, a family matter. The only take-away for me, as a white woman, is that it's not my word to use. That's pretty much all I need to know about it.
Sorry I can't rep you right now, Astral_Weeks. I owe you one.
These are both great explanations that really should be common sense, but apparently are not. How black people deal with other black people who use the word is not my business. It is, to borrow the analogy from Coates, a family matter. The only take-away for me, as a white woman, is that it's not my word to use. That's pretty much all I need to know about it.
Is this similar to if a white person shoots a black person in FL it's bad, but if a black person shoots a black person in Chicago it's OK and BLM just ignores it?
lt would be helpful, imo, if rappers would stop normalizing the word. I'd like them to stop normalizing the word ***** as well.
Do we not want white people to sing along? Everything but that word? Give me a break. It doesn't mean what it used to, and we are the ones making it commonplace. If we don't want people to use it, we shouldn't advertise it in songs. Or write a note, "only black people can sing along to this song."
Same with girls calling themselves *****, but bitching when others say it. Have some respect for yourself. Or girls loving guys that call women ******* in their songs, and singing it. Stupid.
I don't know what we expect. Why make that a pet name? I never use it, I don't want to normalize it. I'd like it to disappear off the word list personally.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’ve been saying this for years to students. If you use an ugly moniker to address yourself or your friends people who already don’t like you are going to believe you and think it gives them justification to also use those exact same words to describe you.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’ve been saying this for years to students. If you use an ugly moniker to address yourself or your friends people who already don’t like you are going to believe you and think it gives them justification to also use those exact same words to describe you.
Tried to rep you but it wouldn't let me. Ugly words are ugly no matter who is using them.
not really, its meant to be a defaming word in any context.
I have to correct myself on this as I did personally witness an uncomfortable situation in which it was used in non defaming context.
years ago I was at the beach on the South Carolina coast and witnessed a life guard talking to a group of black folks, they looked really upset as he walked off. He had said to them "Can I get you n*ggers anything?" He looked puzzled as he walked off, I caught up to him. His accent sounded eastern Europeanish...Polish I think maybe. He said he heard that in music constantly and genuinely had no reason to think it wasnt ok. I said man, this is a culture thing..you cant do that here. That is a derogatory term when used by someone outside of the community. had some liberals witnessed this, this guy would have been ripped apart and labeled a racist. Thankfully it was me and not a liberal that was able to help this guy understand this mistake than anyone could have made.
I personally have never used the term, not even to my friends that I know would find it acceptable, because I dont find it acceptable to be used myself even for those that have earned it--and yes there are those that exist.
Like...I can walk around and call myself fat, but it wouldn't be cool if somebody else said it. Not sure if that make sense.
It makes perfect sense but it will be ignored.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert&Ripley
You are allowed to say whatever you want. Me? Know your audience.
I am mixed race but I would NEVER say the N word around a bunch of blacks I did not know because when they see me? I look hispanic. Around family when joking around? hell yes. Know your audience.
Know your audience is a good one. I had to learn that with my use of sarcasm at work - not everyone appreciates it!
To me, it makes sense that we will have a double standard on using the word. But if people use it in private, I completely disagree with the lynch mobs that form on social media demanding they get fired etc. That's just hysterical imo. That should only happen with politicians and perhaps some government employees.
The problem is that it was used by white folks as an oppressive word.
See, when you look at history and how the word was used before to demean and insult black folks, you'd see why it looks bad for a white person to use it.
Blacks took the word away, used it as a way to acknolage one another and changed the meaning. They confiscated the word. They took the verbal weapon away. I mean think of what a white racist in the 50s would think if you told him later generations would be AFRAID to use the word. Imagine you'd take him forward in time and show him how bad it would look to use it today? For him to know that his one tool of oppression was completely flipped? The rabbit has the gun now.
It's weird when white folks complain about not being able to use it. "I'm not racist but". Like why do you care? Just don't use it.
Perhaps it should not be taken to the offensive level that it's taken when white folks use it sometimes. But it's cringe worthy because it's out of place.
Funny thing though, is I got one white friend and around all my other black friends he'd casually use the word and it was no big deal to them. Guess it depends on how well you know the person. But I don't think it would slide with anyone else.
People that get so butt hurt about that word have no problem using the word redneck do they.
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