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According to me, if a good guy not exceptionally attractive enough pursues you, you'll rejecting him and chase after the rapist guy .
omg, you have such twisted views. First of all, we do not know who the rapists are to avoid, one of your very numerous fallacies. If you are instead talking about what I called 'conceited frat guys' in college, who sometimes treat girls like crap because for some reason they can, no, I didn't go for them or their type that is easily recognizable even later in life.
I have never 'chased after a man' in my life. I was taught not to. You don't seem to understand that the rules we are supposed to follow to keep from getting raped are the exact things that you personally dislike in the dating world.
To be safe, we are not supposed to approach, engage in conversation, etc. with men we don't know! They can only get to know us by being around. Which is a lot of work on their part, work that you resent.
omg, you have such twisted views. First of all, we do not know who the rapists are to avoid, one of your very numerous fallacies. If you are instead talking about what I called 'conceited frat guys' in college, who sometimes treat girls like crap because for some reason they can, no, I didn't go for them or their type that is easily recognizable even later in life.
I have never 'chased after a man' in my life. I was taught not to. You don't seem to understand that the rules we are supposed to follow to keep from getting raped are the exact things that you personally dislike in the dating world.
To be safe, we are not supposed to approach, engage in conversation, etc. with men we don't know! They can only get to know us by being around. Which is a lot of work on their part, work that you resent.
Looks like I struck a nerve. Apparently not, why else would they reject a safe choice and chase after the rapist .
But it is required for most every males I ever knew to pursue and pursue women, as women do not pursue and don't have to unless the male is exceptionally attractive.
That's just your experience, yes? Are they more *likely* to pursue someone who is attractive? Yes. That women do not pursue someone who is less than exceptionally attractive is simply not true. Rock stars, for example.
It's been going on for ten days. Such a short time, isn't it?
Everyday, I receive phone calls threatening me, insulting me, threatening rape, slaying my throat and other horrible threats.
Since (as many women), it's not the first time agression has happened to me, I had the reflex to note every hour and date of the phone calls (of course the number is hidden). I also of course put a claim at the local police. These calls are anonymous and on my work phone.
What can I now do?
I own a business that has an open window for clients/ potential ones. I key-close the door (very good for business, isn't it?) and I'm alone.
He watches me as he calls every time I put a jumper on or comment on my clothing every morning.
This morning, garbage bags were spread in front of my shop.
What can I do more except live in fear and not get out unless my partner can get me there and come and get me back?
I REFUSE to live in fear. But I do it, quasi in spite of myself. Wearing trousers and jumpers, as a reflex, as if it meant anything...
Between all of you guys (especially you, mt1) who feel I could protect myself from a crazy guy, please teach me with all your wisdom how to do more
And let me add, I've been practising Krav Maga for years.
Doesn't stop me from beeing terrified.
So please, ô master, what should I do now? Police, friends, neighbourhood, all alerted. Should I stop my business? Wear a drape? Exactly, what do you advise?
Sorry you're going through this, truly. But the discussion is not about eliminating crime or guarantees that the precautions you take will work all the time.
The answer is no. In places like the US, that line of thinking has been almost entirely hounded out of the public discourse. In places like Saudi Arabia, they still punish women for doing the things you listed there.
There is no duty. Only CD's rules regarding post contents keep me from saying what I really think about the proposition.
That's just your experience, yes? Are they more *likely* to pursue someone who is attractive? Yes. That women do not pursue someone who is less than exceptionally attractive is simply not true. Rock stars, for example.
Not just rock stars though. IDK anything about perusing because I was raised never to pursue. I didn't set up society, I just followed it's rules. I was taught and still believe that if a man is interested he will pursue me, and so if he isn't doing that, what is the point? Chasing after a man who isn't interested in me.
But I was also taught that a women should help a guy out. Let him know if she is receptive to being asked out. Which is sort of a fine line to walk.
So having said that, I have done my version of perusing of men who were not of the sort this poster keeps claiming are the only kinds of guys that girls go for. One in particular stands out in my memory because at a workplace where pretty much all the guys were taking a shot and getting shot down I chose the one who was kinda geeky. I liked him.
He was not the sort to hit on me, which made me like him even more. He got the subtle signals that he could probably ask me out, and asked me in a face-saving way. Or I consider it that. He mentioned a place he likes, I said oh I love that place, and he said maybe we should go. I was like we should! He was kind of delighted, It was cute.
After we broke up we remained friends and I watched the poor guy go through a lot of heartbreaks, but he 'landed' a beautiful, awesome woman. Because he is a GOOD GUY. He is smart, he is funny, he is fun, he is reliable, a good friend, a good person, blah blah. It isn't just about looks! Or even money!
Not to truly quality women it isn't. This poster seems to be quite superficial. Worth for women and men is based on physical attributes.
The conceited frat guy was like seriously? I was like yeah, seriously. I know it blows your mind but yes. I prefer him to you. Bigly.
Not just rock stars though. IDK anything about perusing because I was raised never to pursue. I didn't set up society, I just followed it's rules. I was taught and still believe that if a man is interested he will pursue me, and so if he isn't doing that, what is the point? Chasing after a man who isn't interested in me.
But I was also taught that a women should help a guy out. Let him know if she is receptive to being asked out. Which is sort of a fine line to walk.
So having said that, I have done my version of perusing of men who were not of the sort this poster keeps claiming are the only kinds of guys that girls go for. One in particular stands out in my memory because at a workplace where pretty much all the guys were taking a shot and getting shot down I chose the one who was kinda geeky. I liked him.
He was not the sort to hit on me, which made me like him even more. He got the subtle signals that he could probably ask me out, and asked me in a face-saving way. Or I consider it that. He mentioned a place he likes, I said oh I love that place, and he said maybe we should go. I was like we should! He was kind of delighted, It was cute.
After we broke up we remained friends and I watched the poor guy go through a lot of heartbreaks, but he 'landed' a beautiful, awesome woman. Because he is a GOOD GUY. He is smart, he is funny, he is fun, he is reliable, a good friend, a good person, blah blah. It isn't just about looks! Or even money!
Not to truly quality women it isn't. This poster seems to be quite superficial. Worth for women and men is based on physical attributes.
The conceited frat guy was like seriously? I was like yeah, seriously. I know it blows your mind but yes. I prefer him to you. Bigly.
Agreed. Do you still hold to those beliefs?
I was raised to be a traditionalist but I also didn't have to pursue men. Most of the men I dated were people I already knew and they pursued me. In other cases, I'd just be friendly and they usually bit. There was a lot of shame associated with women hitting on men, generally, but also in my culture (Hispanic, Catholic).
I don't buy into any of that anymore, but am still not used to pursuing. Online dating makes it easier, for sure.
None of my boyfriends were tens by most standards. They were, for the most part, a 3-5. 3 of them were my bosses and that was part of the appeal. Secondary, but appealing nonetheless. I would never have admitted this a few years ago because it's so often shamed. Sleeping with your boss makes you a gold digger, a s/ut. Same goes for groupies. But it's so common. Because power is attractive.
Which brings me back to sexual assault. Avoiding that shame is what motivates women to paint these men as predators. Matt Lauer comes to mind. His 'victim' said she felt ashamed afterwards, but it was certainly not of consensual sex. She was ashamed of consensual sex with her boss. Her married boss. In his office. With co-workers right outside the door. Against company policy. So she wasn't actually traumatized by the act. She was traumatized by what traditionalists and rabid feminists conditioned her to think of it. She may well believe she is a victim, because traditionalists and rabid feminists work really hard to keep her there in order to further their ideologies.
Which brings me back to sexual assault. Avoiding that shame is what motivates women to paint these men as predators. Matt Lauer comes to mind. His 'victim' said she felt ashamed afterwards, but it was certainly not of consensual sex. She was ashamed of consensual sex with her boss. Her married boss. In his office. With co-workers right outside the door. Against company policy. So she wasn't actually traumatized by the act. She was traumatized by what traditionalists and rabid feminists conditioned her to think of it. She may well believe she is a victim, because traditionalists and rabid feminists work really hard to keep her there in order to further their ideologies.
Sex with someone who has power or authority over you is not inherently consensual.
Sex in order to keep your job or to retain favor with superiors so that you are not denied pay raises, promotions or advancement because you won't have sex with them can never be consensual.
Matt Lauer is a predator, just like Bill Clinton, and Lauer had sex in his office for the same reason Clinton had sex in the Oval Office, because they were on egotistical power trips, which is the hallmark of a predator.
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