Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
so if my white self walks through the ghetto with a giamt money belt on in plain view, with dollar signs all over me and I get robbed...none of it was my fault??
Another thing that shocks me so much.
Don't want to identify you personnally lucky, this example has been mentionned so many times I jumped on the one that got my blood angrier (just the drop that makes the barrell spill -is that an english expression? hope it's creative enough, if not).
People using that kind of expression are ACTUALLY comparing a wad of money (object) to a HUMAN BEING being violated and possibly with life consequences (other than your bank account and so what?).
Let's start there maybe, how can one even THINK like that and compare both things?
As a woman, if I get into shady parts of the city with a Gucci or Chanel bag, expensive jewelry and so on, yes I'm being uncautious, and just as any men, I risk getting robbed. Same risks, same dangers.
When I simply WALK in the streets in daylight, why should I need to be afraid and constantly looking out for potential dangers ?
Do men worry about any step they take in the street? Do men worry their date will rape them? Do men.... ad lib.
Women do.
And when they forget about it (which happens, thanks Universe), it rarely takes long to be reminded.
This situation I'm in, I might say F**** him, I still won't do what I usually do (while being careful) : I love going to the theater and to the movies that my partner doesn't like. Bad for me, fall is there and light are dim when I come out of the office. So that's another no-no for me. Is it fair? Of course not. But what am I to do?
So if anyone has a solution, please, write it out. Because now, the victim who has to change their whole lifestyle is me, just me.
And don't think it's the first time, it(s beinf happening to me since I was 12. So many times I couldn't count them. Harrassement, rape, assault, gropping, street insults, you name it, I lived it.
(sigh) As to workplace sexual impropriety I wish I had an answer for you. I have seen horrible abuses happen to women in the workplace. I lost a job I was in for 20 years because I dared to speak up about it. This was at a huge DoD facility and the department upper and middle managers and directors used the work force which had a large number of women in it as a hunting ground.
Yes, I spoke up. Named names and raised Hell. They couldn't fire me for that and I reported to the CO of the facility and got DoD involved. However I had a target on my back and the management found a way to retaliate. I have no regrets for what I did. Three of the directors I named were terminated and charges brought. At least I did something.
The same problem still exists there and probably will continue to be but at least I took a swing at it. Again ,I wish I had an answer. A definitive way to stop such abuse of power. The contractor I worked for found a way to get rid of me in the end but I walked out the gate with a clear conscience. And no small amount of anger and resentment. I despise sexual predators. If I had it all to do again I would not change much. The swing I took connected and smarted. Even if I did get knocked out in the end.
When someone speak up co workers need to back them. A victimized work force needs to be united. Most are to afraid for their jobs to be thus and that's a problem.
Thank you very much for this post, even though we haven't agreed on many things in the past (most probably in my head and refraining myself from answering)
It's this old saying : it takes good men to stop bad ones (the reverse would and should be true, difference is stats show numbers are very different).
But here is a very different situation. i AM the MANAGER for a developping agency, thus work alone in an open window boutique.
What's your advice for me?
I talked to neighbourghs, they frequently come by and ask how I am, but who am I to know it's not one of them, you understand? I begin to suspect those I ask protection from. Can you just imagine, just one second?
It gets you paranoid when put in reality.
Then, when not in a crisis, as I said, it is not paranoid, just fear, a daily life for a woman (at least in urban places).
But merci NVplumber ! And most of all, not only for answering this post but for standing up, even at your own cost. I'm sorry that you had to live that.
There seems to be a lot of controversy around this issue. Although there is little debate that women are not responsible for sexual assaults, do they have a duty to protect themselves? If so, how? Avoiding being alone? Not drinking to excess, avoiding skimpy clothing, what? Many individuals of both genders have expressed this opinion. And if she doesn't protect herself in whatever way is deemed necessary or fitting, is the perpetrator less at fault if an assault happens?
Duty?
Everyone, man, woman & child, has a right to protect themselves. It is not the job of the police, or law enforcement.
What happens after the fact is, the government doesn't agree, you meet your attacker with force greater than the attacker. (Maim & Death)
Someone attacks me physically, I will meet them with 10x's the firepower they came at me with. They will never ever attack anyone else.... That is my duty, once the attack starts.
Thank you very much for this post, even though we haven't agreed on many things in the past (most probably in my head and refraining myself from answering)
It's this old saying : it takes good men to stop bad ones (the reverse would and should be true, difference is stats show numbers are very different).
But here is a very different situation. i AM the MANAGER for a developping agency, thus work alone in an open window boutique.
What's your advice for me?
I talked to neighbourghs, they frequently come by and ask how I am, but who am I to know it's not one of them, you understand? I begin to suspect those I ask protection from. Can you just imagine, just one second?
It gets you paranoid when put in reality.
Then, when not in a crisis, as I said, it is not paranoid, just fear, a daily life for a woman (at least in urban places).
But merci NVplumber ! And most of all, not only for answering this post but for standing up, even at your own cost. I'm sorry that you had to live that.
This is tough. An anonymous harasser? Using telephone and I assume letters and such to attack you? When I spoke up about the sexual crimes on the base I worked at I had names and faces to use. Clear targets. Your situation is indeed quite different.
As to actual advice in dealing with it I'm afraid I'm flummoxed. Whoever this creep is he's staying hidden. That' a serious problem. I would be taking serious measures in personal security since varmints like this can and do escalate. But that's purely reactive and doesn't solve the problem. Without a clear target to engage ...well...that's really tough.
Perhaps the police can monitor your phone and maybe get a trace on the calls? Find some way to make this varmint stick his head up. I'm sorry you have to endure this...whoever this creep is he's a fleabag. But again I would take personal security measures and document and report all the harassing calls letters and such. Like you said you just don't know who to trust and that's really hard for sure. Wow. I do wish I could offer more.
Certainly, women are still waiting for men to do the asking, it's just not the norm anymore, especially since the advent of online datiing.
Women are waiting for men to do the pursuing and asking, but if the male is not exceptionally attractive, feminists call it "sexual harassment". Women are just as passive and coy in online dating if not more so than in everyday life.
There seems to be a lot of controversy around this issue. Although there is little debate that women are not responsible for sexual assaults, do they have a duty to protect themselves? If so, how? Avoiding being alone? Not drinking to excess, avoiding skimpy clothing, what? Many individuals of both genders have expressed this opinion. And if she doesn't protect herself in whatever way is deemed necessary or fitting, is the perpetrator less at fault if an assault happens?
The answer is no. In places like the US, that line of thinking has been almost entirely hounded out of the public discourse. In places like Saudi Arabia, they still punish women for doing the things you listed there.
There is no duty. Only CD's rules regarding post contents keep me from saying what I really think about the proposition.
Women are waiting for men to do the pursuing and asking, but if the male is not exceptionally attractive, feminists call it "sexual harassment". Women are just as passive and coy in online dating if not more so than in everyday life.
I'm sure some are. I'm saying it's no longer required and not the norm.
Your claim on sexual harassment is a bit exaggerated, but not off base.
I'm sure some are. I'm saying it's no longer required and not the norm.
Your claim on sexual harassment is a bit exaggerated, but not off base.
But it is required for most every males I ever knew to pursue and pursue women, as women do not pursue and don't have to unless the male is exceptionally attractive.
According to you we aren't supposed to have anything to do with strange men to protect ourselves from rape, but now you want us to ask you out.
According to me, if a good guy not exceptionally attractive enough pursues you, you'll rejecting him and chase after the rapist guy .
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.