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Your wife is a perfect example of why racism is alive and well in the USA. She makes racism exist where it otherwise does not.
I think racism is still alive -- just like the black guy at a tea party that the liberal media noticed and made an issue. Just because the liberal media assumes all people of minority races are existing on welfare and so love high taxes.
I know a black man who worked two jobs and supported his family, provide health insurance, yet when his wife would walk into a pharmacy with the kids, they would ask her for her Medicaid card. Not her insurance like they might ask a white -- and yes she was offended and had every right to be offended I think.
God has blessed my wife and I with a combined six figure income. We live in a fairly nice area, and in a neighborhood with large homes, ours being about 3500 sq feet. These homes are in a neighborhood that has predominately professionals or buisness owners living in it.
When someone either comes to our house to do work or to sell us something, during our conversation it usually leads to them asking me what I do for a living. My wife gets offended because she feels that if we were white, they would not ask me that question. It doesn't bother me at all to be honest. But I think my wife is being sensitive about it.
I have had people flat out ask me how much our house cost as well as what kind of work I did for a living. Then they would make the comment about where they lived, and how much the paid for their homes, which isn't any of my business. But I am just curious, if you are white or black, and live in a very large home in a very nice area, do you get those type of questions? If so are you offended by them, and should my wife take a chill pill?
Asking what you do for a living? Pretty standard for "getting to know you", not offensive.
However, in more polite times it was considered(and I still do consider it) RUDE to ask how much you paid for something. There is no black/white about it...it's done by so many ignorant people .....it's RUDE !
But people do it all the time as if it's any of their business! Just tell them it's personal, or say you don't discuss those things.
Stating how much you make and how big your home is and what you paid for it is what they think is one-upmanship..... bragging....
I think racism is still alive -- just like the black guy at a tea party that the liberal media noticed and made an issue. Just because the liberal media assumes all people of minority races are existing on welfare and so love high taxes.
I know a black man who worked two jobs and supported his family, provide health insurance, yet when his wife would walk into a pharmacy with the kids, they would ask her for her Medicaid card. Not her insurance like they might ask a white -- and yes she was offended and had every right to be offended I think.
That's a completely different story from someone who's interecting with you asking what you do for a living.
Asking what you do for a living? Pretty standard for "getting to know you", not offensive.
However, in more polite times it was considered(and I still do consider it) RUDE to ask how much you paid for something. There is no black/white about it...it's done by so many ignorant people .....it's RUDE !
But people do it all the time as if it's any of their business! Just tell them it's personal, or say you don't discuss those things.
Stating how much you make and how big your home is and what you paid for it is what they think is one-upmanship..... bragging....
The purchase price of realestate is public record.
Some people in general are nosy, and then combine that with people who haven't had much exposure to black people other than what they see on "Cops" and that's what you're going to get.
Unfortunately for financially successful black people, and even those who are not necessarily wealthy but have decent jobs and own homes in middle-class neighborhoods, I think it's going to take some time for some white people to realize that you don't fit the description they've got inside their heads. You might not have signed up to be the Jackie Robinson of your new neighborhood when you bought your house; however, the reality may be that your presence alone fulfills that role. No, it's not the way things should be, but it's the way things still are in some cases. Change takes time.
Please just keep in mind that not all white people act or think like that, and remember all those who are not asking intrusive questions.
Some people in general are nosy, and then combine that with people who haven't had much exposure to black people other than what they see on "Cops" and that's what you're going to get.
Unfortunately for financially successful black people, and even those who are not necessarily wealthy but have decent jobs and own homes in middle-class neighborhoods, I think it's going to take some time for some white people to realize that you don't fit the description they've got inside their heads. You might not have signed up to be the Jackie Robinson of your new neighborhood when you bought your house; however, the reality may be that your presence alone fulfills that role. No, it's not the way things should be, but it's the way things still are in some cases. Change takes time.
Please just keep in mind that not all white people act or think like that, and remember all those who are not asking intrusive questions.
I think the chip on the shoulder should come off. We are asked all the time what we do and we do not take offense to it. Be proud of your beautiful home and life. People are nosey, not much you can do about that and I doubt color has anything to do with it.
God has blessed my wife and I with a combined six figure income. We live in a fairly nice area, and in a neighborhood with large homes, ours being about 3500 sq feet. These homes are in a neighborhood that has predominately professionals or buisness owners living in it.
When someone either comes to our house to do work or to sell us something, during our conversation it usually leads to them asking me what I do for a living. My wife gets offended because she feels that if we were white, they would not ask me that question. It doesn't bother me at all to be honest. But I think my wife is being sensitive about it.
I have had people flat out ask me how much our house cost as well as what kind of work I did for a living. Then they would make the comment about where they lived, and how much the paid for their homes, which isn't any of my business. But I am just curious, if you are white or black, and live in a very large home in a very nice area, do you get those type of questions? If so are you offended by them, and should my wife take a chill pill?
I agree with you. Your wife is being oversensitive. Those types of questions are common. I ask them. Everyone I know asks them. Race has nothing to do with it.
When I traveled in China I was struck by how the common introductory question was 'Are you a worker? or a student?'--not, 'what kind of work do you do?'
I think at the crux of it, that is what people are asking here in the western world when they ask 'what kind of work do you do?'--its just that 'worker' isn't a word that is part of our culture really. Our culture is so individualistic that 'worker' is too generic and faceless. We each need an occupation that identifies us.
I don't think most people are suspicious of criminal activity when they ask such a question. Unfortunately a lot of black people react like your wife does and it really tends to stifle interracial friendships and community. White people are too afraid of offending someone or being accused of being racist for simply asking a banal chit-chat question like 'what do you do for a living?' It is so unfortunate.
The situation is probably as important as the question. When someone asks "what do you do" in the midst of smalltalk, it's mostly just an innocent question and is mostly considered harmless. If they ask "what do you do" and then pepper you with questions about, "how can you afford this place" and "how much do you make", I think it's started to become rude. I'm white, but I look much younger than I am so I occasionally get asked these sorts of questions (or, even worse, I'm asked if my parents are home). It doesn't offend me at all, though, because I find comfort in exceeding the stereotype people have placed on me. Your situations is certainly different, but if your wife can find some pride in the idea that she's changing peoples prejudices, it might make her feel better about the situation.
It might not, though, and if it doesn't I don't think it's a good idea to tell your wife to stop being offended. I know that people that are offended at something usually hate to be told, "it's not a big deal." and since you live with your wife and not with whomever it is has come to your house, it's probably not worth the stress.
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