I'm just NOT seeing the attraction... (Portland, Eugene: hotel, home, high school)

[puerco]

Originally Posted by Venusian_Artist

I'm from there, dude. I moved here.....from there....on purpose. So the league that you speak of? Not so relevant.

And I'm from Portland now living in SF. We all have different interests. I love my hometown but I can't take the 9 months of rain. And I grew up with it. I prefer SF's drier, milder winters and dense urban environment.

[Barleysoda]

Originally Posted by Neal2009

We are human beings, we get uptight when we strongly disagree with something. Its normal, you do it and so does everyone else.

I suppose my question for you is if you have lived everywhere else because your case sounds like a classic "Need of a change in scenery." You perhaps have lived here your whole life and are bored, that is also normal.

Seriously, if you dont see the attraction why be miserable, why dont you go look for greener pastures? Before you list family and job as a reason, I know plenty of people both personally and here on city data who were able to still make a move to a place they felt they would be happier in despite family and job.

if I were to ever move, and tell my family and friends that I want to move away and go somewhere that I heard was "pretty" and "people are so nice there", they (and myself) would think:

1) I've lost my mind and I must be crazy.

2)that I'm being very selfish to move away from my loved ones because I don't like living there, which is basically telling them, I want to get away from you all, and not really have a good reason for it.

3) That I've burnt some bridges somewhere along the line and now I need a fresh start with a whole new place and a whole new group of people.

4)That I'm a misfit here and now want to migrate somewhere I hear that I can fit in with what goes on there.

5)That I would want people to think I'm interesting because I'm not, and it'll give me something to talk about when I meet new people.


I'm speaking for myself here and in no way trying to insult anyone, but for me to move away from my hometown for no apparent reason I would have to be thinking like that. And for me, moving away isn't even a consideration.

my family is priority #1 for me.

[subsound]

I never see a problem with spreading your wings away from family, I think it helps you with self reliance. Also it gets you out of the authority roles you have played in your life up until then.

I love my family, more my immediate then my extended, but they do drive me completely up the wall. If I was trapped in a house with them longer then a week I would go nuts and try to end my life with a spoon. After the 40th rendition of the story that day where I biffed it face first off my bike when I was 6, I have tried it.

[Neal2009]

Originally Posted by Barleysoda

if I were to ever move, and tell my family and friends that I want to move away and go somewhere that I heard was "pretty" and "people are so nice there", they (and myself) would think:

1) I've lost my mind and I must be crazy.

2)that I'm being very selfish to move away from my loved ones because I don't like living there, which is basically telling them, I want to get away from you all, and not really have a good reason for it.

3) That I've burnt some bridges somewhere along the line and now I need a fresh start with a whole new place and a whole new group of people.

4)That I'm a misfit here and now want to migrate somewhere I hear that I can fit in with what goes on there.

5)That I would want people to think I'm interesting because I'm not, and it'll give me something to talk about when I meet new people.


I'm speaking for myself here and in no way trying to insult anyone, but for me to move away from my hometown for no apparent reason I would have to be thinking like that. And for me, moving away isn't even a consideration.

my family is priority #1 for me.

You seem to care more about what people think rather than following your own heart. There are several reasons a person can move besides a place being pretty and the people nice.

My family means alot to me to as well, but moving cross country for my own happiness and well being and NOT sticking around for them, just to make them happy was my number one priority. They are 2000 miles away, yet I manage and am very happy and I am only 25.

[Élan vital]

LOL---awesome post. I do hope you never find yourself trapped in a house with them and have a spoon handy.

Originally Posted by subsound

I never see a problem with spreading your wings away from family, I think it helps you with self reliance. Also it gets you out of the authority roles you have played in your life up until then.

I love my family, more my immediate then my extended, but they do drive me completely up the wall. If I was trapped in a house with them longer then a week I would go nuts and try to end my life with a spoon. After the 40th rendition of the story that day where I biffed it face first off my bike when I was 6, I have tried it.

[Aylalou]

I get a vibe there that makes me feel like I'm home. It's a city, that on a personal level to me, feels like home. It's a youthful, vibrant city, and at the same time I find it calm and quieting, plus I find the people to be what I call the laid-back gentlefolk. I love the fact that I can rub shoulders with people on the Max and not be isolated in a car. Unlike New York and D.C. I don't feel the harried rush of life, and I find it to be a very walkable city with lots of variety.

It either appeals to you or it doesn't.

[HonuMan]

Originally Posted by Neal2009

You seem to care more about what people think rather than following your own heart. There are several reasons a person can move besides a place being pretty and the people nice.

My family means alot to me to as well, but moving cross country for my own happiness and well being and NOT sticking around for them, just to make them happy was my number one priority. They are 2000 miles away, yet I manage and am very happy and I am only 25.

I second that. I moved to Portland, 3,000 miles away from my home and family, ostensibly because it was beautiful and nice. My family didn't understand why I wanted to move so far away, and to this particular place, but they acknowledged that they themselves had done the same thing when they were young. In retrospect, I understand that a major (at the time subconscious) reason for my move was to establish my own adult identity and independence. I was overly influenced by what my parents did, thought, and expected from me, and was partially dependent on them financially for far too long. We always had a good relationship, but now I feel like an adult around them, rather than a grown child. Conversely, they've seen me bloom and thrive here. They've visited Portland several times, and they understand its appeal.

So if your heart is telling you that you need a change, I highly recommend that you do it, or you're likely to regret it later on. Phones, email, and the occasional trip home will keep you connected with your family. And remember that nothing is permanent -- you can always move back, if you want to. My advice is to promise yourself that you'll give it two years. You're going to be homesick for the first year, and you just have to ride it out. The second year will tell you whether you made the right decision. During my first year in Portland, I told myself that it was a valuable experience, but that I was going to move back home after two years. During the second year, I knew that Portland was my new home, and I'd never move back to my old one.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.

[meltinjohn]

Originally Posted by HonuMan

I second that. I moved to Portland, 3,000 miles away from my home and family, ostensibly because it was beautiful and nice. My family didn't understand why I wanted to move so far away, and to this particular place, but they acknowledged that they themselves had done the same thing when they were young. In retrospect, I understand that a major (at the time subconscious) reason for my move was to establish my own adult identity and independence. I was overly influenced by what my parents did, thought, and expected from me, and was partially dependent on them financially for far too long. We always had a good relationship, but now I feel like an adult around them, rather than a grown child. Conversely, they've seen me bloom and thrive here. They've visited Portland several times, and they understand its appeal.

So if your heart is telling you that you need a change, I highly recommend that you do it, or you're likely to regret it later on. Phones, email, and the occasional trip home will keep you connected with your family. And remember that nothing is permanent -- you can always move back, if you want to. My advice is to promise yourself that you'll give it two years. You're going to be homesick for the first year, and you just have to ride it out. The second year will tell you whether you made the right decision. During my first year in Portland, I told myself that it was a valuable experience, but that I was going to move back home after two years. During the second year, I knew that Portland was my new home, and I'd never move back to my old one.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.

You sound like me in a way.
I have my dad who would be hard to move away from since hes the type to advise against it if I was to make a move to Portland.
Like he said, ya youll probably end up doing it when Im dead, but I dunno, I feel like I want to make the move within 3 yrs time especially since I keep hearing from people to bring a ton of money and the fact that some ppl could move back with their parents if the move to Portland is a bust for them. So Im gonna stay here in the northeast right now and get a god amount saved and maybe get my next apartment in the northeast as well and then after that take the plunge and go out to Portland.
Portland is the place I feel I need to be, but getting here just seems to be the hard part and I suspect it might take a lil while for sure.
Anyways, you sound like me since you said you feel like an adult when your away from your parents and when your with them, your like a grown child. I know the feeling and its often not a great one. I also like you have been supported by parents and the govt. But, little by little, Im working myself away from all that and looking to get even more independant. My debt is a large part of whats holding me down and staying with parents tho. And today for the first time, I might have got my first challenge on trying to depend on the government for less since SSI is penalizing me and I wont be getting much money from them. That could be a test to see how I do with far less government support as well.

[scottinpdx]

I still find it hard to describe the attraction of Portland for me. I just love the city and I feel so comfortable there. So much to do. Bicycle friendly, amazing places to eat. My favorite grocery store (Uwajimaya in Beaverton) I even enjoy being lazy and laying out in the sun in a park.

[Nell Plotts]

Each of us should live where we feel most comfortable if circumstances permit.