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I didn't say the boys were forcing them. Or that boys are horrible or evil.
You did mention that boys will "say anything". That does indicate that you think boys are to blame when a girl gets pregnant and the boys are responsible for misleading girls. So while you did not use the words horrible or evil, it was certainly implied.
If its state mandated then yes, teachers could teach the kids nothing but facts.
And if anyone doesn't want their child educated and wants to continue to be a blithering idiot when it comes to their child's knowledge and only teach the abstinence and not how to be safe when the time comes then they can sign a waiver and go crawl back in their 16th century hole.
Hey! Not everyone that signs the waiver is a blithering idiot or an abstinence-only advocate.
I signed the waiver for my kids. Not because I wanted them to remain ignorant, but because I felt like relying on the state to educate my kids about this very personal topic is relinquishing MY responsibility as a parent. I started teaching my kids age-appropriate sex-ed at the age of 8 or 9 (depending on their maturity). And it wasn't just THE TALK. I hate that terms, it assumes you can teach everything they need to know in one conversation!
We did the condom on the banana, talked about STDs, played "what-if" games (What if a VERY attractive girl comes on to you and TELLS you she is on the pill?). I have had several discussions with my kids about sex, drugs, drinking, etc. My husband's brilliant contribution was to say, "You know where I keep my condoms, right? Help yourself."
When the kids start going to the sex-ed in middle school, my kids already knew most of it.
I agree. I don't know who preach lies about abstinence (perhaps people who only encourages sex at young age), but I do think that we need to start telling the truth about abstinence; it DOES work but it takes will-power and self-control. It does work but it doesn't mean that you can't get pregnant if you have sex without using protection either. I was never told about abstinence, but I live a lifestyle of abstinence. People who claim abstinence don't work don't practice it. I also think it's important to mention all kinds of method to make sex education balance. Too many times we have sex educators on one side and abstinence on the other. Balance is needed.
Yes, what kind of safety? Are talking only about physical? OK what about being used and back-stab by friends and boyfriends? We talk a lot about physical safety but no one rarely mentions emotional and mental safety.
What "lies about abstinence?" No one is claiming abstinence doesn't work. What doesn't work is "abstinence ONLY education" because you have kids who choose not to abstain and end up pregnant because they don't know about birth control.
You did mention that boys will "say anything". That does indicate that you think boys are to blame when a girl gets pregnant and the boys are responsible for misleading girls. So while you did not use the words horrible or evil, it was certainly implied.
Yes, I did, didn't I. I don't think that's completely wrong, especially given the illustrative stories where they did just that and had a girl believing she couldn't get pregnant on a Sunday. And how many boys have said "I love you" or "I want to marry you" to get a girl to agree to sex? I should have said "some boys", however, and you are correct, there are plenty of girls who don't have to be talked into anything.
Getting "horrible and evil" out of that is a bit of a stretch, though. How about just horny?
There doesn't need to be a balance....teaching someone about abstinence is not going to suddenly get them to embrace it. You either have that desire in life or you don't. It's just a sneaky way for religion to try to sneak it's way into the schools is all.
I do have desire in life, and I would still say no even if I was in a relationship. I don't believe in imposing religious on them btw. Abstinence, after all, is a choice. When you make that choice, you practice with self-control and will-power. They're not going to embrace it if they don't want to make that choice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
What "lies about abstinence?" No one is claiming abstinence doesn't work. What doesn't work is "abstinence ONLY education" because you have kids who choose not to abstain and end up pregnant because they don't know about birth control.
I do have desire in life, and I would still say no even if I was in a relationship. I don't believe in imposing religious on them btw. Abstinence, after all, is a choice. When you make that choice, you practice with self-control and will-power. They're not going to embrace it if they don't want to make that choice.
The worse lies are those with 99% truth.
I'm assuming you are saying the "lie" is that abstinence only education doesn't work. Well, statistically it doesn't. States and schools that have abstinence only education tend to have a higher rate of teen pregnancy.
Of course, abstinence works and 100% of the time, but as you and others astutely pointed out it requires a personal commitment in order to embrace it and make it effective. The issue is that not everyone is ready to embrace that commitment or live up to it and no one should feel that they have to.
Therein lies our issue. If we teach only abstinence we are doing a disservice to those who do not want to embrace it. If we teach contraception and "safe sex" we may be weakening the position of abstinence by providing somewhat tacit approval to have sex.
A blend of both is what's needed, but what is needed more than that is for parents to take an active role in the sexual education of their children. A role that must be fact based and realistic.
At the end of the day I would rather have 100 kids who decided that safe sex was the way to go in place of abstinence after being presented with both sides, versus one child who only received an abstinence education and later caved on their commitment and ended up as a statistic. I would also much prefer the education received in school to be merely a remedial lesson versus what was already taught and discussed at home.
Everyone seems to think that teenage birth rates are higher than they've ever been and are rising more and more with each passing year. That isn't true. Teenage pregnancy rates are falling as is their level of sexual activity and the % of sexually active teen using contraceptive devices has increased. So, these are encouraging signs.
Parents, your teenagers are statistically more well behaved than your generation was as teenagers. So far, the Baby Boom and the X generations have been the worst in terms of sex, teenage pregnancy and drug usage.
We also need to stop comparing our-self to other European countries. Our population is extremely diverse. Blacks and Hispanics have the highest teenage birth rates of all ethnic groups. Whites and Asians have the lowest.
As of 2010, the US teenage birth rate fell 10% to 34.3, the lowest in recorded history and down from 37.9 in 2009.
Among whites, that figure was 23.5.
Blacks: 51.5
Native Americans: 38.7
Asians: 10.1
Hispanics: 55.7
In New Zealand, as of 2010, their teenage birth rate was just above 30.0, and United Kingdom was near 30. So, whites and Asians in the United States have a lower teenage birth rate than their British and Kiwi counterparts.
As for sex education, I don't see why some people are so opposed to teaching abstinence until marriage. Abstinence is a perfectly acceptable choice and something I've chosen to do myself with no outer influence or pressure. Abstinence is also 100% effective against STDs and pregnancy. But even still, I think topics like STDs, pregnancy and safe sex also need to be taught. As for the time to start teaching it, middle school is appropriate. I was first taught sex ed in the 4th grade and we did nothing but laugh and look horribly uncomfortable the whole time. We were taught it again in the 6th & 8th grades and we seemed more mature and content.
No more or less than the girls. Teen pregnancy is not only about boys sweet talking girls into sex. It's not even mostly about boys sweet talking girls into sex. Girls WANT TO HAVE SEX as much as boys.
What "lies about abstinence?" No one is claiming abstinence doesn't work. What doesn't work is "abstinence ONLY education" because you have kids who choose not to abstain and end up pregnant because they don't know about birth control.
I think that we are forgetting that abstinence only sex education does our children a disservice. Children grow up to be adults. Most adults are sexually active. By not educating our children about reproduction we are withholding information that our children need to live normal, fulfilled lives.
Even if our kids wait until they are married to be sexually active they still need to know about their body, their partner's body and all matters sexual. As parents we are not teaching them what they need to know by teaching them only about abstinence.
Teens are not teens forever. They grow up and when they do they need to know about sex and reproduction.
I think that we are forgetting that abstinence only sex education does our children a disservice. Children grow up to be adults. Most adults are sexually active. By not educating our children about reproduction we are withholding information that our children need to live normal, fulfilled lives.
Even if our kids wait until they are married to be sexually active they still need to know about their body, their partner's body and all matters sexual. As parents we are not teaching them what they need to know by teaching them only about abstinence.
Teens are not teens forever. They grow up and when they do they need to know about sex and reproduction.
I'm not forgetting anything. I don't know if you meant to quote me.
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No one is claiming abstinence doesn't work. What doesn't work is "abstinence ONLY education" because you have kids who choose not to abstain and end up pregnant because they don't know about birth control.
