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I wonder what makes the girls who get pregnant in high school different. In my 4 years of high school, only one girl became pregnant and dropped out. I heard rumors of other pregnancies, but they were either false or they were terminated (though I lived in a conservative community). The sex education we received was minimal and focused on abstinence and showing us shock images of severely progressed STDs.
So why wasn't my public school overrun with teenage parents the way others are?
As for sex education, I don't see why some people are so opposed to teaching abstinence until marriage. Abstinence is a perfectly acceptable choice and something I've chosen to do myself with no outer influence or pressure. Abstinence is also 100% effective against STDs and pregnancy. But even still, I think topics like STDs, pregnancy and safe sex also need to be taught. As for the time to start teaching it, middle school is appropriate. I was first taught sex ed in the 4th grade and we did nothing but laugh and look horribly uncomfortable the whole time. We were taught it again in the 6th & 8th grades and we seemed more mature and content.
I don't have a problem with teaching abstinence, within the context that it is done without a religious foundation and is not the sole means taught.
Additionally, the pregnancy rates also vary by region and economic status as well as racial status. It's a pretty simple logic step that poorer groups have higher teen birth rates. However, in a qwirky twist, regions of the country typically refereed to as the "Bible Belt" where abstinence only education is taught consequently have a higher teen pregnancy rate then states that teach "safe sex" or offer both as equal choices. A middle class white girl in Alabama receiving an abstinence only education is almost twice as likely to become pregnant as a middle class white girl in a state like NY where "safe sex" is given equal weight.
As for what age is appropriate, I honestly don't think 4th grade is too early to start in a school setting assuming the information is kept age appropriate and factual. That early introduction can be an important foundation to build on. You don't start doing long division, before you learn how to add and subtract.
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Originally Posted by Momma_bear
No more or less than the girls. Teen pregnancy is not only about boys sweet talking girls into sex. It's not even mostly about boys sweet talking girls into sex. Girls WANT TO HAVE SEX as much as boys.
That entire argument, as you pointed out, is counter-productive. No single gender is more or less culpable for pushing sex on the other. This is not a "boy issue" or a "girl issue" it's a human issue and both genders have an equal role to play in the decision making and taking responsibility for their actions.
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Originally Posted by Momma_bear
Even if our kids wait until they are married to be sexually active they still need to know about their body, their partner's body and all matters sexual. As parents we are not teaching them what they need to know by teaching them only about abstinence.
Teens are not teens forever. They grow up and when they do they need to know about sex and reproduction.
Not to bring the Duggars into this, but while I generally support their right to live their lives and raise their children the way they choose, there was one moment that highlighted for me how "backwards" they are on certain topics. When the oldest boy got married, his father presented him with an audio book and DVD series from some religious leader on the topic of "Christian sexual practice". This was essentially the extent of the dialogue between a father and his son on the topic of sex and sexuality outside of saying, "you shouldn't do anything but hold hands before marriage".
Extreme example, but I think many parents aren't too far off from the Duggars when it comes to talking to their kids about sex. Nothing the schools teach or do will ever replace a parents guidance or lack thereof when it comes to this topic.
I'm not forgetting anything. I don't know if you meant to quote me.
It was more of an extension of the conversation than an attempt to refute what you said. Abstinence only works if a person abstains from sex, but who abstains from sex for their whole life?
I wonder what makes the girls who get pregnant in high school different. In my 4 years of high school, only one girl became pregnant and dropped out. I heard rumors of other pregnancies, but they were either false or they were terminated (though I lived in a conservative community). The sex education we received was minimal and focused on abstinence and showing us shock images of severely progressed STDs.
So why wasn't my public school overrun with teenage parents the way others are?
One anecdotal example doesn't account for the entire collective encapsulated in the research. I'm sure there are plenty of cases where kids got the "best" progressive sex education in the world and the school was overrun with teenage moms. Likewise there are examples where the most regressive education was given and no one ever got pregnant.
In many more conservative communities, the reaction tends to be to quietly terminate the pregnancy and pretend it never happened in order to "save face". These are usually the same parents picketing in front of Planned Parenthood trying to overturn Roe vs. Wade...but I digress.
It was more of an extension of the conversation than an attempt to refute what you said. Abstinence only works if a person abstains from sex, but who abstains from sex for their whole life?
Most of the girls who are having sex are doing so willingly. As the parent of boys I get really tired of the mistaken idea that horrible, evil boys lie to girls to get them to have sex. Chances are if a girl is having sex, it's because SHE WANTS TO.
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Originally Posted by Momma_bear
You did mention that boys will "say anything". That does indicate that you think boys are to blame when a girl gets pregnant and the boys are responsible for misleading girls. So while you did not use the words horrible or evil, it was certainly implied.
One factor that is important though is that in the absence of real sex education boys are going to be more informed (not always correctly) regarding sex than girls due to peers, porn, and other outside influences. That puts girls at a real disadvantage when it comes to distinguishing fact from fiction if their horny boyfriend is their only source of information. That's not to say anyone is being pressured, or anyone is right or wrong, just another reason why everyone should receive correct information.
One anecdotal example doesn't account for the entire collective encapsulated in the research. I'm sure there are plenty of cases where kids got the "best" progressive sex education in the world and the school was overrun with teenage moms. Likewise there are examples where the most regressive education was given and no one ever got pregnant.
In many more conservative communities, the reaction tends to be to quietly terminate the pregnancy and pretend it never happened in order to "save face". These are usually the same parents picketing in front of Planned Parenthood trying to overturn Roe vs. Wade...but I digress.
Oh, I'm not saying Sex Ed isn't effective, it certainly is, but I'm trying to figure out what the other factors at play are. Even with the best education reaching every student, there would still be teen pregnancies so what else is effecting these kids?
I don't doubt that there were some quiet abortions at my school, but only 1 out of about 1500 students who passed through the school in a 3 year period seems awfully low (at least from what I've heard from the experiences of others. I do not know the national rate). Since education was not what kept these kids from making poor choices, what did?
Oh, I'm not saying Sex Ed isn't effective, it certainly is, but I'm trying to figure out what the other factors at play are. Even with the best education reaching every student, there would still be teen pregnancies so what else is effecting these kids?
I don't doubt that there were some quiet abortions at my school, but only 1 out of about 1500 students who passed through the school in a 3 year period seems awfully low (at least from what I've heard from the experiences of others. I do not know the national rate). Since education was not what kept these kids from making poor choices, what did?
who knows? You may think you would know if someone was pregnant, but not necessarily. I didn't know of anyone who had a baby in HS, but come to find out 20 years later from Facebook, someone I'd known since elem school had a baby before we graduated. There was another we all found out about later. She didn't give birth until after we graduated, but not too long.
I wonder what makes the girls who get pregnant in high school different. In my 4 years of high school, only one girl became pregnant and dropped out. I heard rumors of other pregnancies, but they were either false or they were terminated (though I lived in a conservative community). The sex education we received was minimal and focused on abstinence and showing us shock images of severely progressed STDs.
So why wasn't my public school overrun with teenage parents the way others are?
When i went to high school i never saw any pregnant girls but i remember the teachers and counselors talking about so and so being pregnant. Just because you personally did not see one doesn't mean there were not plenty. And often girls who are pregnant tend to take time off of school once the pregnancy really kicks in.
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