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My mother suffers from severe, extreme Narcissistic personality disorder.
There are quite a few books out there discussing this. A few of my favorites are:
Drew Pinsky and S. Mark Young co-authored 'The Mirror Effect,'
Elan Golomb wrote, 'Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self'
Ph.D, Karyl McBride, 'Will I ever Be Good Enough- Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers".
All 3 are excellent. However, Karyl McBride has a FB private group, page, and support page.
I agree. All of these are very good. Here are a few more -
Vaknim, Sam, "Malignant Self Love"
Kohut, Heinz, "Analysis of Self" - Kohut is the "father" of self psychology, and he coined and defined the phenomenon of narcissistic rage, which put simply is the highly unpleasant way that a narcissist behaves when he perceives himself the recipient of a narcissistic attack.
Harris, Jay E. MD "How the Brain Talks to Itself" Very readable, deals with the aftermath of trauma, abuse and rejection as well as narcissism.
I agree. All of these are very good. Here are a few more -
Vaknim, Sam, "Malignant Self Love"
Kohut, Heinz, "Analysis of Self" - Kohut is the "father" of self psychology, and he coined and defined the phenomenon of narcissistic rage, which put simply is the highly unpleasant way that a narcissist behaves when he perceives himself the recipient of a narcissistic attack.
Harris, Jay E. MD "How the Brain Talks to Itself" Very readable, deals with the aftermath of trauma, abuse and rejection as well as narcissism.
My father and sister both have NPD. Sigh. I remember when I took my psychology class in high school and we read about it. It was the biggest revelation ever about my father. I just remember thinking the whole time, "Check, check, check, check!"
I wonder how narcissistic all people are, including myself. I am self-absorbed, but that's a function of spending a lot of time on my own. Mostly, it's to create a shield from people who can predictably have a negative impact on my life. I have traveled and met some interesting people, changing my plans to accommodate or include these people, when I had planned on being alone, though this doesn't usually happen. Also, I feel empathy for people who are capable of empathy. For people who are generally mean-spirited, I don't have much empathy. I think it's wasted. To me, the hallmark of narcissism is the feeding of one's own well-being and status, and not considering the impact on others in the process. A sense of entitlement is another key hallmark of narcissism. I don't have the diagnostic list at hand. In essence, I equate narcissism with Machiavellian behavior, for the most part.
Someone mentioned something about narcissistic people getting very emotional about tragic things happening to strangers, this person does that. Her FB page is all about people she doesn't know getting cancer and she constantly posts about it, then joins cancer groups. She seems very genuine on Fb, her Fb contacts that actually respond to her are people she met in a chatroom, they don't know her personally. The people that do know her personally hardly ever respond to her, because they know what a wicked, nasty, person she really is.
Scary, because it is so common and so many people have a few of the traits. Not enough to meet diagnosis criteria perhaps according to the DSM, But enough to impede personal happiness and relationships anyway.
There is a discussion going on over in the Buddhism forum about Narcissism. I have wondered for years how much of it is aggrevated by American style religions. Growing up in a very religious household, I witnessed way too many unhealthy personality traits, both by parents and by their friends. I wonder how much of this was aggrevated by their religious convictions or addictions ?
My problem with this person, is that she's starting to affect my life and i'm not liking it. She can be as narcissistic as she wants, just want her to leave me out of it.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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Have mentioned elsewhere before, that I was married to an NPD/BPD (clinically diagnosed), and have since found the whole subject to be very fascinating, not least of all because IMO, it's actually becoming pretty commonplace in today's culture. And surrounded as we are with so many of what is basically a ''predatory'' personality type, it's probably not a bad idea to become familiar with some of these recurring ''denizens'' of the modern ''jungle''.
So I find perhaps their most obvious traits to be an obsessive need for control of everything and everyone around them, along with an extreme sensitivity to any perceived criticism. Also agreed that we all have some degree of narcissism and self-interest, which we need to survive, but the true NPD types significantly lack any sense of empathy or ability to recognize any feelings outside their own. So forget the notion of ''reciprocity'', compromise, dialogue, caring, emotional support or any of the things that define a normal human relationship... unless it somehow serves their needs & purposes!
And they're not necessarily always ''bad people'', but their sense of self is always so 'artificial' and shaky, basically as a defense against a world they have perceived, often since infancy, as totally uncaring, untrustworthy and very painful. Also heaven forbid they should ever allow anyone to get close enough to them, for fear they'll be ''vulnerable'' and someone might discover the ''truth'' about their ''worthlessness''!
There's quite a lot written about Narcissism, and my own fav author is psychotherapist Alexander Lowen, whose book 'Narcissism: Denial of the True Self' best seems to capture the essence of it all.
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