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Old 07-21-2013, 05:09 PM
 
Location: The Triad
34,090 posts, read 82,988,469 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texdav View Post
Sounds like a lot of over thought nonsense to me.
maybe they should just get out of their head?
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Old 07-21-2013, 05:20 PM
 
50 posts, read 82,502 times
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The shoe can go on the other foot. How many extroverts do we look at and think 'how brash and fake are THEY?' or 'Do they ever think before they speak'?

Just the same way there can be traits in introverts that might be socially damaging, the same applies to extroverts. But it's all relative and subjective. Some people like the brashness of extroverts, and others respond negatively to it. Some like the stillness of a introvert, while others find it uncomfortable. On the wider scale of things I think it's a good thing to know with whom you feel comfortable around and whom you don't; get into a crowd that, to some degree, understands you for what you are.

I try not to judge people either way. I mean, some people like to talk, and some people don't. Some people like to think deeply about something and other people view it black and white. Neither is really wrong it's just a case of different people having different perspectives on life.
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Old 07-21-2013, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,167,759 times
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I don't understand the need to identify so strongly as introvert or extrovert. Whether you are introverted or extroverted, the category should not define you. It is simply a part of who you are. And people become more extroverted over time and vice versa.

And who is purely one way? No one.
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Old 07-22-2013, 09:58 AM
 
9,238 posts, read 22,902,469 times
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I think it's a continuum. It's not black & white, but some of us are indeed at the far ends of the continuum. I'm pretty far out on the introversion end. I actually feel sorry for the people at the opposite pole who have deep needs for attention and interaction. But it does appear to me that the people on the extraversion side seem to think that their way is "normal" and they've given me many messages over the years that my lack of need for other people is somehow a "problem."
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Old 07-22-2013, 10:10 AM
 
621 posts, read 1,054,244 times
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I'm a super-introvert (that's an introvert who wears a cape).

There's nothing wrong with me when I have the perfect time to decompress from socializing. When I don't, it feels similar to when I don't get enough sleep (grouchy, emotional eating, worn out) .

All I can say is that it is normal for me, and I feel no want to change it.

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde
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Old 07-22-2013, 12:54 PM
 
370 posts, read 654,537 times
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Well if you live in America being an introvert in an extroverted country is pretty hard!
A lot of societies especially in Europe are introverted and reserved. I am an introvert living in US. I remember when I was a kid during recess I would quietly be on my own reading and my teacher thought I was sad or depressed! LOL...I was thrilled reading my whodunit book . Some years back living in the mid-west (which is super friendly and extroverted part of America) I told people I was going for a job overseas for short-term and a woman I was friendly with (not knowing I travel often for work and pleasure) said I would change my personality by going on this trip and be more open and extrovert . I just learn to live with this misconceptions. Doesn't bother me anymore, it did when I was younger because I thought I was truly odd!
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Old 07-22-2013, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Canada
7,681 posts, read 5,530,949 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaybirdX View Post
As an example the need to "help" introverts can be compared to hostile and benevolent sexism. While the rep I got was hostile the majority of response I have seen are more benevolent, well meaning but implies that the person is less of a person and lower in status.
Ever heard of this observation: "Opinions are like a s s h o l e s - everyone has got one." Why does it bother you? Frankly, you sound like you have self-esteem problems. I'm a mild introvert and am comfortable in my own skin. It doesn't bother me at all if most people disagree with me on any subject. I don't feel inferior. I don't need majority approval. I hold no animosity towards extroverts and don't care if they are in the majority or minority in this world. I think both extroverts and introverts bring value.

I'm not particularly comfortable in large gatherings, but when I find myself in one, I tend to gravitate towards the extroverts. It takes the social pressure off me because they can be very entertaining and they tend to like to talk a lot. However, I form friendships with other introverts (less exhausting). However I can appreciate that extroverts can find it frustrating trying to form relationships with introverts - they are on a different wave length.
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Old 07-22-2013, 01:51 PM
 
9,238 posts, read 22,902,469 times
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I particularly get bothered by the bias against introverts in the mental health field. I work in this field, so it's hard to get away from it. Mental health professionals seem to project their own extravert needs and assumptions on clients, and they judge introversion as maladaptive and extraversion as "healthy."

I've been a very vocal minority among my peers, pointing out that yes, that person may be in treatment for XYZ, but keep the focus on the XYZ issue, not the person's tendency to be a loner. Many of them fixate on wanting to change the person's social tendencies, and "link them with more social supports." In some cases, a person really might have the need for increased social supports, but it's not universal. People could look at a biopsychosocial assessment of me, and determine that I need more social supports. But no, I'm happy with the low amount of social contacts I have. If a client comes to treatment for whatever reason, and he/she is saying they want or need more social contacts, that's one thing, or if they seem to need and want more social contact, but something like social anxiety is getting in the way, then yes, we can help with that. But that's all assuming that those folks are not natural introverts/loners.
I posted somewhere else here on CD about therapists needing to better target their interventions based upon the client's normal tendency to introversion or extraversion. Many of the "pet" interventions that therapists love to employ are great for extraverts, but would make a natural introvert feel worse.
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Old 07-22-2013, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Windham County, VT
10,855 posts, read 6,372,282 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam View Post
I particularly get bothered by the bias against introverts in the mental health field. I work in this field, so it's hard to get away from it. Mental health professionals seem to project their own extravert needs and assumptions on clients, and they judge introversion as maladaptive and extraversion as "healthy."

I've been a very vocal minority among my peers, pointing out that yes, that person may be in treatment for XYZ, but keep the focus on the XYZ issue, not the person's tendency to be a loner. Many of them fixate on wanting to change the person's social tendencies, and "link them with more social supports." In some cases, a person really might have the need for increased social supports, but it's not universal. People could look at a biopsychosocial assessment of me, and determine that I need more social supports. But no, I'm happy with the low amount of social contacts I have. If a client comes to treatment for whatever reason, and he/she is saying they want or need more social contacts, that's one thing, or if they seem to need and want more social contact, but something like social anxiety is getting in the way, then yes, we can help with that. But that's all assuming that those folks are not natural introverts/loners.
I posted somewhere else here on CD about therapists needing to better target their interventions based upon the client's normal tendency to introversion or extraversion. Many of the "pet" interventions that therapists love to employ are great for extraverts, but would make a natural introvert feel worse.
This^

(Can't yet rep you again)

It only makes sense to work with (not against) "the grain" of a person
(like the grain/direction within a piece of wood).

It's crucial to distinguish between:
inherent natural tendency (perhaps extreme but within acceptable parameters)-best left alone
and pathological (excessive, intrusive, harmful) symptomology-in need of remedy.
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Old 07-22-2013, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Chicago IL
1,360 posts, read 1,694,025 times
Reputation: 1295
Ok this was a surprise to see this many responses.

To the responses of me overthinking or having self esteem issues well obviously I wanted a discussion and saying ignore move on doesn't solve anything. I wasn't asking for help just looking for opinions and thoughts. I mean opinions and views had to come from somewhere they happen to be there.

To the poster who flipped the negativity attached to extraversion you make a valid point it will be considered.

To the poster talking about navigating their lives I applaud you and wish you the best in your endeavors.

Also like another poster said its a matter of not being pushing on your views with people.

More response are welcomed.
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