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I got this unsigned rep from a poster for a comment I made in another thread.
Not only is this so wrong on so many levels it shows the bias that many introverts deal with and voices the lingering societal sentiment that they can sometimes feel.
There is a lot of negativity associated with introverts and many times introverts need to be assisted or helped and extroverts rarely have to deal with this. I mean how many threads are there of people having problems due to their extroversion? Its the attitude that introverts need to be fixed and people misconstruing the definition of the word. I think the need to help the "less sociable" has mutated to something that does nothing but ridicule and micro analyzing traits and turning them into crippling mental disorders. I feel there are many social expectations and stigma's that make introverts feel "less" and they are put in boxes with those who do suffer from serious mental disorders.
I have said my piece but I open the door to discussion because I feel many times this topic only scratches the surface and don't get deep enough.
I open the door to discussion and debate within the spirit of the forum.
Trying to understand what you're saying, and hoping the grammar issue came from the rep comment you received and not from you...
Do I understand that you had posted something pro-introvert and someone repped you and said you're in denial and that extroversion is "normal"?
If so, this totally illustrates the extravert bias that's out there. Simply having the idea that extraversion is "normal" and everyone should be that way, or there's something wrong with us, is evidence of this bias.
It's similar to saying that "there are black people and there are regular people." That would be incredibly offensive, right? But the person who repped you thought nothing was wrong with saying that extraverts are regular people, and we introverts are somehow wrong.
If we claim that we're happy being introverts, and that it's normal for us, and that we really, really have little or no NEED for attention from others, we're somehow deluded or in denial. We secretly must crave being around people, but we just deny it. It doesn't matter that our brains are hard wired differently.
Huh? I really don't think there's a lot of stigma around being an introvert. I think most of it is either mislabeled objection to socially awkward people (who get mistakenly lumped in with introverts) or annoyance at the way some introverts talk like they're special snowflakes. I see a lot of introverts who just don't shut up about introversion and how it makes them different from other people and their Meyers-Briggs type, etc. It's frankly a little weird.
Introversion is about whether you are drained or energized by spending time with people or spending time alone, and it's different than social awkwardness or shyness.
I see a lot of introverts who just don't shut up about introversion and how it makes them different from other people and their Meyers-Briggs type, etc. It's frankly a little weird.
Introversion is about whether you are drained or energized by spending time with people or spending time alone, and it's different than social awkwardness or shyness.
I think that might just be a reaction of constantly having to explain that no, you're not shy, you just want to be left alone for a while.
Trying to understand what you're saying, and hoping the grammar issue came from the rep comment you received and not from you...
Do I understand that you had posted something pro-introvert and someone repped you and said you're in denial and that extroversion is "normal"?
If so, this totally illustrates the extravert bias that's out there. Simply having the idea that extraversion is "normal" and everyone should be that way, or there's something wrong with us, is evidence of this bias.
It's similar to saying that "there are black people and there are regular people." That would be incredibly offensive, right? But the person who repped you thought nothing was wrong with saying that extraverts are regular people, and we introverts are somehow wrong.
If we claim that we're happy being introverts, and that it's normal for us, and that we really, really have little or no NEED for attention from others, we're somehow deluded or in denial. We secretly must crave being around people, but we just deny it. It doesn't matter that our brains are hard wired differently.
I was trying to help with the confusion that introvert is some form of debilitation. You make a good point that introverts are seen as being in denial and they actually crave attention and need to be brought out of their "shell". It is rude and it infantilize's people who identify as introverts as they somehow can't function in society.
As an example the need to "help" introverts can be compared to hostile and benevolent sexism. While the rep I got was hostile the majority of response I have seen are more benevolent, well meaning but implies that the person is less of a person and lower in status.
Another thing I noticed is the introvert and extrovert issue has caused a sort of line in the sand, "us vs them" mentality that deters understanding from both sides.
Huh? I really don't think there's a lot of stigma around being an introvert. I think most of it is either mislabeled objection to socially awkward people (who get mistakenly lumped in with introverts) or annoyance at the way some introverts talk like they're special snowflakes. I see a lot of introverts who just don't shut up about introversion and how it makes them different from other people and their Meyers-Briggs type, etc. It's frankly a little weird.
Introversion is about whether you are drained or energized by spending time with people or spending time alone, and it's different than social awkwardness or shyness.
I believe there is a stigma or I wouldn't of gotten the reply I got.
Also that annoyance flips both ways they probably feel the same way about outgoing people going on and on about themselves.
Also many people don't disconnect social awkwardness and shyness(another small trait that gets treated as a death sentence) with introversion.
There is a lot of negativity associated with introverts and many times introverts need to be assisted or helped and extroverts rarely have to deal with this. I mean how many threads are there of people having problems due to their extroversion? Its the attitude that introverts need to be fixed and people misconstruing the definition of the word. I think the need to help the "less sociable" has mutated to something that does nothing but ridicule and micro analyzing traits and turning them into crippling mental disorders. I feel there are many social expectations and stigma's that make introverts feel "less" and they are put in boxes with those who do suffer from serious mental disorders.
I would say that both introversion and extroversion, while neutral traits (like left or right handedness-everybody has it, in some measure), can co-occur with other neurological/behavioral difficulties, which then make it seem as if the "intro- or extro- version" is the issue.
Also, it depends on whether or to what degree one experiences distress as a result of being either extroverted or introverted.
The DSM routinely includes the blurb (paraphrased) about "causing significant difficulties in one or more of the following activities of daily living" (and then they go on to list some).
The upshot being, wherever you fall on the spectrum between introversion & extroversion, if it's not a problem for *you*, then it's likely *not* a problem.
One may have other impinging problems, but her/his amount of introversion/extroversion isn't at the root of that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
If we claim that we're happy being introverts, and that it's normal for us, and that we really, really have little or no NEED for attention from others, we're somehow deluded or in denial. We secretly must crave being around people, but we just deny it. It doesn't matter that our brains are hard wired differently.
I am an introvert, yet I do want (and admit as much) a bit of attention (interaction/human relationships).
However, I dislike "people" generally (when in groups/crowds)-
yet I do like "one person at a time", because that's a level at which I can function/focus.
"People" (plural) overload me & cause shutdown, but "persons"
(one individual in any given moment/location, with low rate of turnover) are at a scale I can handle & even enjoy.
Agree, our brains are wired differently, and such anatomical diversity shouldn't be stigmatized/scapegoated.
I think introverts are perceived as being socially awkward, and that awkwardness might hold them back in life. As someone who has both extraverts and introverts in her family, I have never felt that any individual needed fixing. However, I made sure to allow my kids plenty of social exposure, and we encouraged them to get jobs in H.S. That sort of thing.
It might be that someone who is strongly introverted might need help expressing him or herself in a work situation. Someone who is acutely shy and non social might have problems in the typical American workplace. The introvert who is not acutely shy would have fewer problems, obviously. The introverts in my immediate family are fully functional.
I don't go on and on in real life about being an introvert. My friends understand me, and my immediate family (spouse and kids) are introverted too so it works well. My main frustrations come from considering career paths and jobs and hoping against hope to find something that suits my introverted nature. I am not socially awkward or shy and I CAN work in jobs that are best suited for extroverts (except sales, that's never going to be a fit)-- I just don't have the desire to do that sort of work for the rest of my life. The thought of it exhausts me. I have had plenty of "constant contact" jobs and it just sucked so much, but I would be glad to work one on one with people. It seems like the "hot" fields or jobs are either STEM related (and I suck at all that) or geared towards extroverts.
My son is introverted and somewhat socially awkward. I see it as two separate issues, the same with shyness. The main issue for my son with regard to introversion comes from friends who don't understand it. When he would rather stay home and make adjustments to his bike or modify his computer, they insist he is "depressed" and needs to get out of the house, and they put a lot of pressure on him to constantly socialize. I think it's harder in some ways if you are younger. He is 21 and because he doesn't enjoy the so called "normal" 21 year old activities of drinking and clubbing, people assume he is depressed or in some way broken.
Both of my sons have friends and socialize, they just don't have a desire to socialize to the extent that "most" kids their age seem to (younger is 15). They value their alone time -- and thank goodness because I don't know how I'd deal with having extroverted kids. Our youngest is the lone extrovert in the house and she will be attending a free summer school program in part because she NEEDS the social time! She is very different in that way. When I was a kid, three months of reading books alone in my room, or swimming in the apartment pool when it was empty (in the evening), or taking walks by myself/riding bikes alone was absolute heaven! I was content to not talk to my school friends all summer long.
It certainly does seem that the majority of people are extroverted, but maybe that's just perception because they make their presence known by the very fact that they are extroverted?
Your in denial. Extraversion is normal and the way to be!
I got this unsigned rep from a poster for a comment I made in another thread.
Not only is this so wrong on so many levels it shows the bias that many introverts deal with and voices the lingering societal sentiment that they can sometimes feel.
There is a lot of negativity associated with introverts and many times introverts need to be assisted or helped and extroverts rarely have to deal with this. I mean how many threads are there of people having problems due to their extroversion? Its the attitude that introverts need to be fixed and people misconstruing the definition of the word. I think the need to help the "less sociable" has mutated to something that does nothing but ridicule and micro analyzing traits and turning them into crippling mental disorders. I feel there are many social expectations and stigma's that make introverts feel "less" and they are put in boxes with those who do suffer from serious mental disorders.
I have said my piece but I open the door to discussion because I feel many times this topic only scratches the surface and don't get deep enough.
I open the door to discussion and debate within the spirit of the forum.
Extraverts are mainly concerned with external appearance while introverts are more concerned with the underlying reality.
Introverts worry that crowds will judge them by their appearance and therefore become drained of energy
Extroverts are energized by crowds.
Last edited by granpa; 07-20-2013 at 08:10 PM..
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I was content to not talk to my school friends all summer long. 
