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Any therapist would have a field day with me. I am a bundle of disorders in one body. But I am trying to change, to improve.
I need your opinion on this:
Yesterday my friend, a very straightforward honest guy, told me I am very negative towards people who don't share my views. Otherwise he likes my passion towards life and movies and such, but this aspect is present.
A few days back a girl told me something similar- that I don't relate to people who can't think like me.
And much before that my best friend who is currently in Portugal wrote a long e-mail the gist of which was on similar lines. I wanted him to try LSD and he wasn't willing to. I told him everyone should do it, and those who don't are missing something.
Maybe It is subconscious but I can't help it. Is there anyway I can change this trait? And what is the change going to be? To respect other's choice of decisions.
All you can do is try to put yourself in their position. Think about how you would feel if someone was trying to push you into doing something you weren't comfortable with. This isn't a matter of someone just not wanting to try a new type of food, LSD is an illegal drug with strong psychological effects. Think of something you know you would be very uncomfortable doing and how you'd feel if a friend kept telling you everyone should it and those who don't are missing something.
Have you considered seeing a therapist? I'm sure they are much more qualified than random internet posters to help you learn WHY you act that way and how you can improve. If you truly have disorders and aren't just self diagnosing, a professional is going to be able to more appropriately help you.
If 3 friends have expressed concern over your attitude, you may want to consider it. Keep in mind that this is what your friends felt comfortable telling you - it's possible you come off much worse than this, especially to new people but they didn't feel able to tell you the complete truth.
Having empathy is a huge thing. Being able to interact with people in an easy going way can be learned skill. You say you can't help it, but the reality is you probably can. Have you tried accepting and respecting other people's choices? Your friend to whom you offered LSD...did you even consider that that's not really a normal question to ask people? There are social standards. I'm not saying you need to be a lemming, but there is an appropriate way to interact with people. Do you make small talk with strangers? Do you ask your coworkers about their day/weekends? It sounds like you really need to open your mind and accept that people have different opinions than yourself, and that's okay, but you don't need to convert them nor should you judge them or have a negative attitude toward them for thinking differently than you.
If you genuinely have negative attitudes towards people who don't 'think like you', then be prepared for them to jump ship on your friendship. You may be a great person otherwise, but nobody wants to hang out with the downer who tells them they're wrong all the time.
Any therapist would have a field day with me. I am a bundle of disorders in one body. But I am trying to change, to improve.
I need your opinion on this:
Yesterday my friend, a very straightforward honest guy, told me I am very negative towards people who don't share my views. Otherwise he likes my passion towards life and movies and such, but this aspect is present.
A few days back a girl told me something similar- that I don't relate to people who can't think like me.
And much before that my best friend who is currently in Portugal wrote a long e-mail the gist of which was on similar lines. I wanted him to try LSD and he wasn't willing to. I told him everyone should do it, and those who don't are missing something.
Maybe It is subconscious but I can't help it. Is there anyway I can change this trait? And what is the change going to be? To respect other's choice of decisions.
I think this also touches on how important you think you are...aka your ego.
Some things to think about (you don't necessarily have to answer here, but answer for yourself).
If someone doesn't think like you or doesn't agree, why do you feel they're "wrong" or why do you feel the need to put them down? Do you ever believe that your way of thinking may, in fact, be wrong? If not, why not? Are you able to agree to disagree with people? If not, why not?
Everyone sees things differently. Our opinions aren't necessarily wrong, per se, they're just different. Let's discuss your example of trying LSD. For some, they wouldn't go near any illegal substance with a 10-foot-pole. Is that wrong? No. Are they completely right? Maybe not. For others, they may try it. Are they wrong? No. Are they right? Not necessarily. For others, they try it, love it, get addicted to it. Are they wrong? No necessarily. Are they right? For some, yeah, why not.
Life isn't black and white. It's tons of shades of gray. Every person you interact with, will never have all the same exact opinions as you, so you might as well get used to that. Does that make everyone else "stupid" or "less than you"? It shouldn't. If it does, really, why are you right, and everyone else wrong? Are you sure you're not wrong, and they're right?
OP-(quote) I wanted him to try LSD and he wasn't willing to.
DID I miss something here? Being negative, pushy, controlling or simply obtuse? I would say many people are not open minded or even come close to be free spirits- so they only see life in one way and want all to follow...
My guess is that you think you are smarter, wiser, and better than most everyone you know. My best advice is take a good look in the mirror at your own shortcomings and failures. If you don't know many, ask someone who really doesn't like you and I bet they can come up with a long list. Your problem is not unique. It is common to most people.
Have you considered seeing a therapist? I'm sure they are much more qualified than random internet posters to help you learn WHY you act that way and how you can improve. If you truly have disorders and aren't just self diagnosing, a professional is going to be able to more appropriately help you.
If 3 friends have expressed concern over your attitude, you may want to consider it. Keep in mind that this is what your friends felt comfortable telling you - it's possible you come off much worse than this, especially to new people but they didn't feel able to tell you the complete truth.
Having empathy is a huge thing. Being able to interact with people in an easy going way can be learned skill. You say you can't help it, but the reality is you probably can. Have you tried accepting and respecting other people's choices? Your friend to whom you offered LSD...did you even consider that that's not really a normal question to ask people? There are social standards. I'm not saying you need to be a lemming, but there is an appropriate way to interact with people. Do you make small talk with strangers? Do you ask your coworkers about their day/weekends? It sounds like you really need to open your mind and accept that people have different opinions than yourself, and that's okay, but you don't need to convert them nor should you judge them or have a negative attitude toward them for thinking differently than you.
If you genuinely have negative attitudes towards people who don't 'think like you', then be prepared for them to jump ship on your friendship. You may be a great person otherwise, but nobody wants to hang out with the downer who tells them they're wrong all the time.
Its funny you say this because I was told there are certain norms and that I am oblivious to them. I've learnt to control them but it was pretty bad sometime back. Like in 2010 I was at a great job in Canada and had just tried magic mushrooms. The next day I was going about telling anyone and everyone to come to my house to try them. I was fired the next day.
And plenty such instances which I can't even type. But that's the thing...I want to be PURE to people. To not beat around the bush or dabble in small talk or irrelevant gossip. And there was a social boundary which I didn't even realize existed.
I know it is a subconscious thing and I should seek some therapy help asap because I know I don't want to loose acquaintances or hurt anyone.
I wanted him to try LSD and he wasn't willing to. I told him everyone should do it, and those who don't are missing something
Quote:
Originally Posted by rishi85
... had just tried magic mushrooms.
Maybe you should lay off the hallucinogenics, they seem to be frying your brain or at least contributing towards your sociopathic tendencies.
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Being negative, pushy, controlling or simply obtuse? I would say many people are not open minded or even come close to be free spirits- so they only see life in one way and want all to follow...
